Awaken (The Awaken Series Book 1) (18 page)

“Are you really drunk right now? It’s eleven o’clock in the morning, Alex.”
 

He narrowed his eyes at me before it dissolved into a sloppy grin. “I told him you’d come to me in the end. I didn’t even have to work for it!” Alex exclaimed, his speech jumbled. “And here you are…”
 

Alex grabbed my arm, and I recoiled against his touch.
 

“Hey now,” he slurred.
 

“Seriously, stop. I didn’t come here for—”

“Shut up,” Alex groaned, dragging both words out longer than necessary. He was getting on my nerves even more than usual. “Just go with it. Don’t fight it.”
 

Don’t’ fight what? What the hell was he talking about?

Alex tugged on my wrist, bringing my body close to his. His arms circled me. Until that moment, I had never really noticed how huge he really was. I brought my hands up to his chest and pushed hard against his brick wall of pure muscle, but even in his inebriated state, he was too strong for me. Suddenly he turned and yanked my wrist again, forcing me to follow him up the stairs. His hold was so tight I was helpless against his strength.

“Alex, that’s enough. Let go,” I commanded. I also suddenly remembered Lilly’s work schedule. I was alone with him.

I frantically started kicking and swinging my arms. Alex would never hurt me…would he? He pinned both my arms behind my back, and pushed me a few yards to a room I assumed was his.

Jasper had warned me. I thought he was telling me to stay away from his cousin because of jealousy or something, and I only halfway believed him about Alex being an actual sociopath. Sure he made bad decisions, but I didn’t think he was capable of something terrible.

“Let go!” I screamed. I started to yell something else, hoping that the neighbors would hear me, but Alex shoved me through the door—hard.

I slammed into a dresser. Pain erupted in my side. I tumbled to the floor, clutching the spot I hit.

“Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” Alex roared, raising the hairs on the back of me neck.

I brought myself to my feet, assessing my best route of escape. There was a window to my left, but we were on the second floor, and there was no overhang like there was outside my own window.

I had to find a way to get around Alex and escape through the door. I backed up, putting distance between us. He was so drunk; how quick on his feet could he possibly be?

Alex came closer, moving away from the door. I swallowed, my heart pounding in my head.

Alex was saying something, but his words were so jumbled up and angry that I couldn’t decipher them. He lunged at me, but I was ready.

I sidestepped, making a quick dash for the door. Alex stumbled and fell to the floor.
 

He was too close to me. I felt a hand circle my ankle, causing me to trip. I screamed and attempted to kick my way free.

Alex stood and pulled me up by my waist, then slammed me against the wall. When my head took most of the impact, my vision blurred.

“Why are you doing this?” I managed, fighting back tears.

“What does it matter? Oportet sucks. The Outside sucks. Life just sucks, Luna.”
 

He pinned me against the wall with his entire body. I tried one last time to fight against him, but his weight too much for me to get free. His eyes were crazed.

“Why
aren’t
you into this? Why are you fighting?” The stench of alcohol coming from his hot breath against my face threatened my gag reflexes.

I was fighting because I didn’t need the rules to tell me that this was wrong. Oportet didn’t allow for its citizens to make their own choices, but I knew what I would choose—regardless of any written law. I would choose not to hurt people. That was the right choice. Alex was choosing wrong, and he was choosing it every single time.

Alex smashed his lips to mine. I kept my eyes wide open, pushing with all my strength to get him off of me. I refused to kiss him back.

I felt a tear escape my eye as I gathered every ounce of strength I had, channeling it all in an effort to stop the assault. Alex finally pulled his lips off mine and I used that opportunity to scream as loud as my vocal chords would allow.

Alex’s large hand clamped over my mouth, releasing one of my arms. I slammed it into his chest, but he didn’t move an inch.

I felt myself spiraling out of control, becoming hysterical. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Why the hell are you crying?” Alex muttered, and I thought I saw a glimpse of something besides lust creep into his eyes, maybe even remorse. It was gone as fast as it came, though, leaving me to understand just how far beyond repair he really was.
 

I had almost given up hope when I heard the faint echo of footsteps down the hall. Had Alex heard it to? Was he honestly thinking he was going to get away with this?

“As much as I love the dress, I bet you would look even better without it,” he slurred.

That was when the most violent thought I’d ever had sprung into my consciousness: I wanted to kill him. I wanted to see Alex fall to the ground and never move again. I wanted his eyes to be void of life, his limbs motionless pieces of flesh and bone. I closed my eyes.

Alex’s crooked smile vanished as the sound of footsteps reappeared.

“Fuck,” he muttered. He glared into my eyes, his raw, evil anger sending the coldest of chills down my spine. “If you make any sound at all, I swear to God I will cut out your tongue.”
 

I believed him.

I used my free hand to slam it against the wall, and the noise seemed like the loudest thing I had ever heard.

In a split second two things happened at once: Alex’s door flew open, and Alex released me, only to spin me around and send me flying towards the dresser.

I was lucky the first time when I hit my side. This time, my head collided with the edge of the wood.

I was spinning. I tried desperately to stop—the motion creating a kind of nausea I had never experienced before—but there I was, spinning and spinning until the room came in and out of focus, until darkness pushed its way toward me, enveloping me into its numb embrace.

~~~~~

My head hurt. Something like a blanket was on top of me, and I felt the plushness of a mattress beneath me. Where was I? How did I get there?

I opened my eyes to a room painted in dark blue, the window next to the bed casting daylight onto the carpeted floor. I noticed a backpack leaning against what I assumed was a closet door, and it only took me seconds to recognize the plain black design.

Everything came back to me in that moment. I knew where I was, I knew how I had gotten there, and I knew why I felt so terrible.

Alex had forced himself on me. Jasper had saved me.
 

I pushed myself up and out of bed—Jasper’s bed. The sudden movement made me sway on my feet, still dizzy. I crept toward the closed door. I heard voices on the other side of the door, and I froze in place, my heart pounding and limbs heavy. I raised my hand, perplexed as I watched it begin to violently shake.
 

I placed my head against the cool wood, tuning into the voices.

“You did what?” I recognized the strained voice as Lilly’s.

“We already gave him enough chances, and each time you let him charm you into believing he had somehow changed. He obviously hasn’t,” Jasper spat. The hatred in his voice sent a chill down the length of my spine.

“What are you saying, Jasper? That this is my fault?”

“No, of course not. I’ve covered for him for far too long, and this has just made the decision that much easier for me.”

“So that’s it? You didn’t even think to come to me first?”
 

Jasper started to say something but Lilly cut him off.
 

“You just turned him in, and they made the decision on the spot?”

“He was already on probation. He was obviously drunk, and I made a point of explaining my concern for his violent tendencies.” Jasper spat the words with an intense kind of rage. “The guards are holding him until you have a formal meeting with the Council. They need to make sure that we hold a different set of values, and then Alex will be taken back to the Outside.”

“I don’t know about this…”

“Mom, he would have… If I hadn’t stopped him…” Jasper trailed off, and I had a pretty good idea of the horrible things we were both imagining.

“Neither of us knows exactly what happened,” Lilly said, exasperated.

“Why are you defending him?” Jasper roared. There was a beat of silence, and when he spoke next his voice was more leveled. “What the hell is wrong with him?”

“You know what’s wrong with him. Darren gave him enough bruises and blows to the head to really screw him up.” The hallway was silent for a moment. “I need some space to wrap my head around this. You should go check on Luna.”

I got back under the covers of the bed, feeling cold and empty inside. I counted each footstep as Jasper drew nearer to his bedroom door, the task somehow keeping me from falling apart.

Jasper slipped into the room, clicking the door shut behind him as quietly as humanly possible. When he turned and saw that I was sitting up, he just stopped and stared at me.

“Are you okay?”

“No.”

“How’s your head?”

“It hurts.” There was no blood, but I could feel a lump the size of a ping-pong ball on the side of my temple where I hit it.

Jasper started moving again, making his way to the bed. He sat next to me, and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Luna,” he murmured. He slowly raised a hand to my face, brushing across my cheekbone. “What happened?”
 

I swallowed, looking down at my hands. Jasper watched me, wrapping his fingers around mine.

I sighed. “I thought you would be home,” I started, watching Jasper tense up. “He was drunk, and he just…wouldn’t listen to me. I couldn’t get away.” I could almost feel the anger Jasper was sending off. “He pinned me against the wall, and then he kind of…kissed me.” Jasper looked away, flinching like I had hit him. “He told me not to make any noise when he heard you in the house, but I did. Then I hit the dresser.”

I looked down at my hands in his, my eyes widening as I took in the swollen, red nature of his knuckles. There was a layer of dried blood, and the thought of Jasper hitting something hard enough to cause that sort of damage made me uneasy.

“What did you do to your hand?”

“What do you think?”
 

I nodded, remembering how hard Jasper had hit Kevin. Even then I didn’t remember his hand looking that bad.
 

“I beat the shit out of him.”

“So he’s being expelled from Oportet?”

“Yes.”
 

Everything was still. Everything was quiet.

“I don’t want to go home,” I whispered.

“Then don’t.”

~~~~~

My parents had no idea that Jenna and I had ended our friendship. They happily allowed me to stay the night at her house. If they knew where I would really be spending the night then I would never be allowed to leave the house again, and Jasper would probably be expelled along with his cousin.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Jasper whispered into my ear. We had been talking and watching whatever movies I wanted until late into the night.

With Jasper it was easy to forget. He was like a drug that could take away all of the pain; and I was addicted.
 

“Lilly is okay with this?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t care.”
 

It was so unusual for me to hear about Lilly’s laidback style of parenting. I knew my mother and father were at the far end of the parenting spectrum, but so was Lilly—in the opposite direction.

“Luna,” Jasper whispered, barely audible. My head was resting on his shoulder, and Jasper was tracing designs into the palm of my hand. “I’m in love with you.”

I had so many words forming in my mouth, but they were all trapped. The silence was so heavy, and all I could focus on was the feeling of Jasper’s shoulders moving with each breath he took.

“And I’m in love with you,” I said.

I had never felt closer to anyone in my entire life. To find someone that I would do anything, go anywhere, or even fight for was incredible.

In that moment, I knew that Jasper Williams could break my heart—and that I could break his.

When I opened my eyes, Jasper was staring at me in such a pained way. I had to take a moment to make sense of everything I had just remembered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, not understanding his troubled expression.

“What did you remember?”

“I asked you first.”
 

“You were crying, Luna.”
 

I drew my brows together. I raised a hand to my face, feeling the moisture on my cheeks.

“What did you remember?” Jasper asked impatiently.
 

“Exactly what you didn’t want me to.” Everything made sense now. I knew there was something Jasper wasn’t telling me—something he didn’t want me to remember. And this was it. He didn’t want me to remember everything not because of anything he did, but because he was trying to protect me from what his cousin did. “Alex,” was all I said.

“I’m sorry… Again.”

“Hey,” I said, grabbing his hand that rested between us. “Alex’s actions were not your fault.” I stared into his slightly panicked eyes, but almost immediately, his pained expression hardened. He looked away and pulled his hand from mine.