Beautifully Broken (25 page)

“I don’t think so.” I knew
the look on his face all too well, and I dreaded what would happen next.

Even though everything in me
was screaming to run, I sat with the door ajar, patiently awaiting his next
move. “What do you want Raylon?”

Me!

“I think you know what I
want Bennett.” He forced the door slightly and it propelled me back. I turned
and ran full speed into the kitchen, looking for some sort of protection. I
slid into the counter, wincing at the pain that shot through my hip, after it
collided with the corner of it. Remembering my phone was still in the living
room, I frantically dug through the drawer for a knife. As I turned my head I
felt his cold clammy hands shove me hard. My head smacked into the cupboard
above the sink with blunt force.

My feeble body sunk to the
floor, just as my vision became hazy. As I tried to pull myself in a standing
position, I caught my hand on a glass of water on the counter. The glass went
crashing to the ground, sending shards of glass across the tile floor. I felt
another hit to my head and everything started to fade black. I could hear the
water from the broken glass dripping on the floor. Everything was instantly in
slow motion. My feet slid out from under me when it came in contact with the
trickling water.

I felt a tug as his large
hand wrapped my ponytail around it. He tugged hard, and it felt as though my
hair was being pulled from my scalp. I reached back to try to pull my hair
free, but it was no use. I flipped my body around as he began dragging me by
the hair down the hall. I scratched and pulled until the pain became
unbearable.

I finally gave in.

When he pulled my body over
the threshold of my room, he slammed the door shut with his foot. His strong
arms threw me like a rag doll onto my bed. I scrambled up leaning into the
headboard wondering how I could escape. I looked at the window and he just
shook his head. Warm tears started streaming down my face, as the reality of
the situation sank in. I wasn’t getting out of here, at least not alive.

He was rummaging through my
drawers in search of something, but my eyes never left his form to find out
what.

“If there’s one thing you
should have learned, it should have been that you couldn’t leave me that
easily. I don’t give up what’s mine.” My stomach churned with his words. I
couldn’t swallow back the bile rising in my throat. “If I can’t have you,
neither can he. It’s as simple as that really.”

I flinched, when I saw the
shiny metal blades of the scissors in his hands. Trying to catch my breath,
images of my scars on my breast flashed through my mind. I had nothing to
defend myself with and no one was home. Panic and adrenaline surged through me
as my survival instincts took over. I lunged at his large body, scratching his
face and punching at his chest. He caught my hands with ease, tossing me back
onto my bed. He straddled my chest, pinning my arms down with his legs.

My eyes went as wide as
saucers, as I saw the scissors near my sweatshirt. With one swift motion my
hoodie laid wide-open, bare breasts exposed. My pants were next and I was
thankful that I had remembered to put underwear on this morning. He shred my
pants up both pant legs and yanked them out from underneath me. I clutched at
the cut hoodie, but it didn’t stop him. He yanked that off as well, throwing it
to the side of my bed.

I closed my eyes not wanting
to see the lust in his eyes. I refused to give him the satisfaction of a fight.
I felt the smooth metal against the inside of my thigh as he slid them up my
panties, shredding them as well. I squeezed my eyes tight and tried to go to a
different place.

Gray’s face appeared before
me, looking sad. His fingers ran across my lips and then pressed his into mine.
My creased brow relaxed and I felt at ease. He was here and Raylon couldn’t
hurt me. My eyes shot open in pain seconds later, and I realized it was all a
dream. Gray wasn’t here and Raylon was. The metal sliced through my skin on my
thighs like butter. I could feel the warmth of my blood, pooling below me. I
sucked in a breath, as is hand came up and sliced the other. I wanted to cry
out in pain, but I knew it would only fuel his raging fire. So, I lay there,
lifeless, waiting for it all to end.

As the blade slid across my
belly, I cried out in pain. I let out a loud sob as his fist cocked back,
aiming for my face. I instinctively threw my hands up for protection, praying
for this nightmare to end. One long excruciating minute later, I felt the
cracking of my jaw as his fist collided with the bone. The force of the blow
knocked my head to the side, sending everything into a blur.

His fists connected with my
body a few more times, before going back to the scissors on the bed. My body
went numb and my mind pushed itself to a far off place. I could feel the pressure
of the scissors cutting into my now blood stained skin, but I was paralyzed.
When he stopped and threw the scissors to the ground, I thought maybe he would
leave.

I made sure to lie still,
although I’m not too sure I could have moved anyway. I felt the mattress give
as the weight of his body lifted off of me. I heard the door crack open and I
prayed that he was gone. I tried to turn my head but the force of his punches
rendered it impossible. I slid my fingers against the sheets, before pulling
them back alarmed. I lifted my hand and saw the amount of blood that had
latched on to my skin.

I ran my fingers across the
top of my belly, trying to assess the damage. When my finger dipped into the
gash, a new round of tears began to flow. This is how I was going to die!
Before the thought could sink in, he was back! His body trapped mine against
the bed as his fingers laced around my neck.

I could smell the booze
emanating through every one of his pores. The faint smell of cigarettes
lingered on his clothing, and I wondered when he had picked up that habit. I
lay limp underneath his weight and prayed for it to be over. I didn’t have the
strength in me to fight back anymore. This was it for me. I whispered my silent
good-byes to Gray, as the darkness creped into my vision. No one was coming to
save me. There was no white knight riding in on a horse, and I had accepted
that.

My eyes closed for the last
time, as relief washed over me. I could breathe. I no longer needed to punish
myself for all the wrong I had done. All I could hope is that Gray would know
how much I loved him. I would have given him anything, even my life.

That’s the funny thing about
life, it never turns out the way you think it will. We spend our existence
believing in love and happiness, but reality is much more grim. We make
decisions that hurt others then blame them when we can’t fix them. I had loved
Gray with
all
of me, not just a part of me.

There are never enough hours
in the day or months in the year to express how much love can affect you. Gray
had been my world, my lifeline when all was dark and lonely. In the end it was
his love that made my life worth living.

My only regret in this life
was never being able to give Gray the family, and life that he deserved. But, I
knew Gray, and he was resilient. Eventually, he would find it in him to move
on, while keeping the memories that we shared in tack. Our once disastrous
relationship had made it through so much loss, that this would soon find its
rightful place, in the shadows. My only wish is that he knows the love I feel
for him, and the baby I had taken away.

I could hear his voice. As I
lay here dying, his voice is all I could hear, calling and comforting me. I
wanted to reach for him. I needed to let him know that he was going to be okay.

I heard his angelic voice
whisper, “Button, you are my world, my only reason for being. Please just hold
on and don’t leave me.”

I smiled knowing I felt the
same way. I tried to stay in that moment for as long as my restless, un-beating
heart would allow. I whispered back, “
I
love you Gray,”
knowing he couldn’t hear
me anymore. But, the words still rang true.

“THEO, GO GET THE DOCTOR! I
swear I heard her say something. Bennett, Baby, say it again.”

I could hear him as clear as
day now. No! No, please don’t take him. He deserves to live. Tears were falling
endlessly down my face, with no feeling.

“I love you Gray, please
fight to stay alive. Fight Gray!”

“Bennett, open your eyes.
Bennett I can hear you, please Baby, open your eyes.”

I tried to do as he said,
but it wasn’t feasible. I tried with everything I had in my dying body. I
needed to see him, if only for a second.

“That’s it Baby. Just relax
and open them. Please Baby, I
need
you to look at me.” I could hear him
choking on his tears. I pleaded with my body to reach out to comfort him. There
was no reason for both of us to suffer.

I was astounded when I heard
my own voice break through the still air.

“Gray, don’t cry.” My eyes
fluttered open and I watched his blood shot eyes taking me in. My vision was
hazy but I swear I saw a smile creep across his lips. He was a sight for sore
eyes, literally and figuratively speaking. My heart skipped a beat looking at
his gorgeous face coming towards me.

“I thought I had lost you
forever.” His hands clutched my tender face, as his lips claimed mine. “I
promise to never leave you again. I’m so sorry.” His lips were kissing every
inch of my face. He pressed his forehead against mine, his callused hands still
gripping my swollen face.

“I promise you the same,
Gray.”

He kissed me swiftly, and
then pulled away as the doctor entered the room.

“Well, good morning, Miss
Reynolds. I’m Dr. Raind, thanks for finally joining us.” A smile stretched
across his worried face. “How are you feeling? Any pain yet?” He continued to
check the monitors above me as I cleared my throat to answer him.

“My cheeks and my stomach
hurt pretty bad, and my throat.” I grabbed at my neck and flinched as my hands
made contact with my sensitive skin.

Gray’s hands clasped around
mine, “Baby, don’t touch.”

“Miss Reynolds, you have
quite a few things going on. Let’s start with the most obvious. Your trachea
was bruised inside, along with the outside. You have bruises and contusions
covering your face, and deep lacerations across your belly and inner thighs.
Your jaw was dislocated and we had to put it back in place, so you have some
swelling around your mouth and jaw. Don’t worry, the swelling should subside in
the next couple of weeks.”

He paused glancing at a
smaller monitor to my right. “You’re very lucky that your friend over here,” he
pointed to Hannah, “has the same blood type as you. You lost a lot of blood and
we had to give you a blood transfusion. I hear it’s not your first? You’re
healing beautifully though, so I wouldn’t worry too much. You were very lucky
someone showed up when they did, young lady.”

My eyes flashed to Hannah
and Theo over in the corner of the room. We smiled at each other, mouthing
I love you
from across the rather large room. “Seems your guy, over here, made it
just in time.” I glanced over at Gray as a new round of tears began to fall.

My attention instantly flew
to a loud sound. I could hear a heartbeat echoing through the room, but it was
too fast to be my own. I looked at the doctor with confusion written all over
my face.

“What is that sound?” I was
looking between Gray and the doctor for someone to answer me. Gray had a huge
smile plastered across his face about a mile wide.

“Can I tell her?” Gray
glanced over at the doctor, and my heart began to race.

“Someone please tell me
what’s going on.” His carefree attitude was scaring the shit out of me.

With a nod from the doctor,
Gray looked right into my sunken eyes, “Baby, you’re pregnant.” His smile
wavered when I didn’t react. A rush of panic washed over me.

“Did...di…did he rape me?” I
didn’t want to know the answer. I buried my shameful face into the flimsy
hospital pillow underneath my head.