Begin Again (12 page)

“Jacob went back home.”

Maisie looked up at him. “He did?”

Her hair looked as if it had a layer of shiny glass over it. He lifted his hand and smoothed the water into her hair, turning it a deeper shade of red.

Maisie bit her lip and looked up at him. “My sister's pregnant.”

“She is?”
That must be hard for you.

She nodded and stepped closer to him, her green eyes locked with his.

He didn't know what was going on between them, but he ached to kiss her full, pink lips. Unable to control his longing, his hand cupped her wet face and he bent down to kiss her. His heart soared when Maisie returned the kiss, then fell when she pulled away like she'd made a mistake.

“I should go.”

He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and watched her run away from him once again.

• • •

Maisie drove home with trembling hands. Ryan's kiss was the most perfect kiss she had ever experienced and that scared her. It was as if it reached all the way to her soul. Guilt took over her emotions once again. Luke was in heaven. Did he see her kissing Ryan? Did he know she liked it? Why hadn't she died in that tornado with her family? She turned the windshield wipers on faster. The rhythmic noise of the wipers put her in a trance.

After she took her extra hot shower, she put on her pajamas and curled up on the sofa. She tried to get into the sitcom playing before her, but her mind kept wandering back to Ryan's new assistant. Had his smile in the diner tonight been for her or the new girl? What was happening? Ryan wasn't even hers to get jealous about. She gave up on TV and got Boots and Lucky out of their cages. Watching them scurry around the bathroom floor took her mind off Ryan for a few minutes.

Her phone rang, so she scooped up her pets and placed them back in their cages.

“Hello?” she asked, out of breath.

“Maisie, are you okay?” Ryan asked.

She sat down on her bed. “Yeah, I was just playing with Lucky and Boots.”

Ryan laughed. “About earlier … ”

She cut him off. “Don't … ”

He interrupted before she could finish, “Okay.” He paused. “It's supposed to be nice tomorrow. Do you want to do something?”

Of course I do!
“Like what?”

“Go to the zoo?”

She hadn't been to the zoo since she was a teenager. Ryan was just a big, overgrown kid, which is probably what made him fun to be around. “Sure, okay.”

“Good, I'll pick you up at 10.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” Maisie disconnected. What was this dance they were dancing? She knew she should be grateful for Ryan's friendship, but if he started dating someone, it might be too painful for her to watch.

• • •

Maisie sat on the porch while waiting for Ryan to pick her up. She was so excited about spending the Saturday with him that she'd woken up two hours early. Those extra hours were spent on deciding what to wear and how to fix her hair. She'd settled on a white eyelet sundress and sandals. Multicolored bangle bracelets draped her arm, and she'd pulled up the sides of her hair with bobby pins.

As she sat on the bench outside, she noticed that the purple clematis vine next to the porch was starting to bloom. Birds sang and chirped all around her, making her feel happy. She was going to try to enjoy the day without any negative thoughts. Maisie closed her eyes.
Out you go, negative energy.

When Ryan's SUV pulled up to her sister's house, she couldn't help but grin. She hopped up from the bench. Excited, she opened the door and climbed inside. Ryan was in khaki shorts and a pink T-shirt. There were very few guys that could pull off wearing pink, and Ryan was one of them.

Ryan handed her a magenta peony bloom. “From my yard. You look pretty.”

She took the big puffball of a flower from him and held the saccharine scent up to her nose. She ran her fingers over the silky petals of the peony. “Thanks. You look nice, too.” Was this a date? He did give her a flower.
Don't get your hopes up.

• • •

Ryan paid for their tickets, and they walked through the tall zoo gate. “So what animal do you want to see first?”

Maisie eyed the water fountain with stone animals all around it. The water sprayed parts of the statues, making some appear darker than others. “I don't care. How about you? You're the animal expert.”

He tilted his head back and laughed.

She loved it when he did that. “Why don't we start with your favorite?”

His expression reminded her of a child trying to decide which toy he wanted in a store filled with toys. “It's hard to choose a favorite, but I guess it'd be a close tie between the red pandas and the meerkats.”

Maisie raised an eyebrow. “I've heard of meerkats, but a
red
panda?”

Ryan nodded and took a hold of her hand. “Come on, I'll show you.”

His hand fit perfectly with hers, like it was made for her to hold. The zoo obviously took pride in the hundreds of mature plant and flower species that lined the blacktop path through the exhibits. The many colors burst off the dark path and the clear sky.

When they reached the red panda exhibit, Ryan pointed to a couple of reddish-brown cubs playing in the corner under a tree. “Aren't they cute?” His hand was still intertwined with hers.

“Yeah, they are. They remind me of raccoons.” She pointed to a larger one who was lounging. “Look! That one is licking its fur like a cat!”

Ryan turned to her. “There's something I need to get off my mind before I can enjoy the rest of the day.”

She looked at him with a questioning glance. “What?”

“This.” He bent down and put his mouth over hers. The rest of the world faded away, and they stood alone. Except for the few hundred animals.

• • •

The rest of the zoo visit was a blur. After the kiss, she hadn't been able to concentrate on much else. So when he pulled up to her sister's house to drop her off, Maisie wasn't sure what to say.

Ryan tuned the SUV off and removed his seatbelt. “Did you enjoy the zoo?”

Among other things.
“Yeah. You?”

He leaned toward her. “One of the best days I've ever had. Maisie, I want to date you. What do you say to that?”

She swallowed. “What about your assistant?”

He looked at her confusedly. “Alice?”

Maisie tried to moisten her lips but her mouth had gone dry. Was he playing dumb with her? “No, your
new
assistant.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Harper?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

Ryan frowned. “I'm not following. What does he have to do with us dating?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “He?” Now she was confused.

He laughed. “I have a feeling we are not talking about the same person.”

She shook her head. “Your new assistant — the pretty girl who asked me if I had an appointment.”

His eyes widened. “When did you come by? Never mind, that's not important. I let Tiffany go. She wasn't a good fit for my clinic.”

Maisie laughed. “So your new assistant is a guy?”

“Yes. He goes to the university and is studying to be a veterinarian. He'll work for me for the next six months until he graduates.” He took her hand. “Now that that is settled, can we get back to us?”

She looked down. “I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship.”

He gently squeezed her hand. “So we'll give it a trial run.”

How could she tell this man no? “Okay. As long as we take it slow.”

“Slower than a turtle crossing the street. Got it.” He smiled. “By the way, I was never told about you coming to see me at the clinic.”

Surprise, surprise.
“Oh, it doesn't matter now.”

Ryan grinned. “Maisie Scott, I do believe you're sweet on me.”

She took his hand. “Mr. Tucker, I think you may be right.”

• • •

Could things get any better? Ryan danced around his living room to '90s music on the radio. What a perfect end to the most perfect day.

He glanced over at Rex pushing his ball around in the cage. “Maisie is my girlfriend!”

The rat looked up from his toy and sniffed the air. Full of energy, Ryan danced into the kitchen to get orange juice. He emptied the carton into his glass and tossed it into the trashcan basketball style. After he chugged the juice, he went to his room to get ready for bed. Feeling like he'd drunk a love potion, he lay down. How would he get any sleep?

• • •

Lola's eyes were almost as big as the saucer holding her mug of cocoa. “Good for you, girl!”

Maisie wiped the counter as the familiar clang of dishes sounded in her ears. “I still don't believe I'm ready for an actual relationship, but you should have seen his puppy dog eyes when he said we'd do a trial run. I couldn't say no.”

Lola unwrapped a stick of green gum. “Well I think there's more to it than his puppy dog eyes. Just face the fact that you like him and want to be his girlfriend.”

Maisie's stomach knotted up. “It's not about what I want. It's about how I feel, and as hard as I've tried, I can't control that.”

Just as he was about to get dressed, Ryan heard someone at the front door. Who was ringing his doorbell this early on a Saturday? “Just a minute,” he called down the hall as he slipped on his jeans and a lime green polo. He rubbed his eyes and raked his fingers through his hair. Hoping it was Maisie, he opened the door with a smile plastered on his face.

His ex-fiancée stood in front of him holding a newborn baby in her arms. “Beth? What are you doing here?” He looked from her blue eyes to the tiny sleeping bundle.

She smiled and adjusted her hold on the baby. “Hi, Ry! Aren't you going to let us in?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Again,
what
are you doing here?”

She frowned and looked down at the infant. “Don't wake him. Can we talk inside?”

Irritated, he held open the door. “How did you even find me?”

She walked into his house as if she lived there. “You weren't that hard to find, Ry. Not many vets named Ryan Tucker.” After placing the baby on his couch, she turned to him. “I'm sorry about the way I left. I guess I got cold feet.”

He took in her slinky red dress and pouty face and felt nothing. How had he ever loved this woman? Maybe he really hadn't. “Well, not only did it hurt me, it was rude, Beth.” He glanced over at the newborn when he heard fussing. “Whose baby is that?”

She grabbed a hold of his arms. “That's why I'm here. He's yours.”

Ryan's mouth dropped open, and he tried to find his voice. “Excuse me?”

Beth's hands slid down his arms to his hands. “I didn't know I was pregnant when I took off. Honest.”

Anger and shock took over his body. When he finally found his voice, he pried her fingers off his hands. “But you knew when he grew inside you and still you said nothing? You gave birth to him, and still you said
nothing
?” Ryan shook his head and looked over at the tiny baby with curly blond hair. “How can this be? We slipped up one time in the hot tub … ”

“One time's all it takes.” She paused to look around his house. “This place is depressing. I'll go shopping tomorrow and liven it up.”

Ryan scratched his head. “You don't live here. You are not a part of my life now. You made that decision for both of us seven months ago.”

Beth tossed her hair over her shoulder. “We have nowhere else to go. You'd have your fiancée and son live on the street?”

The baby started crying, causing Ryan to look over and want to pick him up. The baby he'd always wanted and the wife he'd always wanted were right in front of him. The only problem was, it wasn't Beth he wanted anymore. It was Maisie.

Beth rushed over to the baby and held him, whispering that everything would be okay.

“If he's mine, he will always have a place to stay. But you are not my fiancée, and you can't stay here.”

Beth started crying and patting the baby's bottom. “What do you mean ‘if he's yours?' How can you say that in front of him?”

Ryan let out a deep sigh. “You can stay here until tomorrow. I'll leave.” Ignoring the cries of the tiny bundle that could be his son and the tears of the woman he had once promised his life to, he stomped back to the bedroom to pack a suitcase. He needed to think.

• • •

Ryan sat on the edge of the bed. Why was this happening? How could he tell Maisie? He stood up and walked over to the window overlooking the hotel's parking lot. How would he break the news to his family? They didn't even know he'd been engaged to Beth.

Guilt wrapped around him like a boa constrictor. He hadn't even touched or held his son before walking out.
His son.
He swallowed the hard lump in his throat and tried to blink away the tears that stung his eyes.

Only one person would know what to do. He picked up his cell phone and called Jacob.

He took a deep breath to keep the pain out of his voice. “I'm coming to visit.”

“That's a great surprise, man,” Jacob said. “When?”

Ryan grabbed his duffle bag off the bed. “Now.”

• • •

The sun was shining, and the cloudless sky was bluer than she'd seen it in weeks. Dressed in a spaghetti-strap cotton dress with a big, pink, silk flower clipped in her hair, Maisie took the fresh apple pie that'd she'd baked for Ryan this morning off the counter. She planned on surprising him with it. He was her boyfriend. Gosh, it'd been a
long
time since she'd had one of those.

As she walked outside carrying the pie wrapped in foil, she looked up.
I'm sorry, Luke, but I have to try to move on.
A ladybug landed on her hand. She smiled as it flew off. Ladybugs were the only bugs she didn't mind. In fact, Luke had once called her ladybug when they'd first met. Maybe it was a sign. She placed the warm pie carefully in the passenger side seat and then hopped into the driver's seat.