Begin Again (4 page)

Maisie turned to look at her reflection in the glass again. “Then why do I feel like I don't deserve happiness?”

Cady hugged her. “You deserve every happiness, sis.”

Hot tears stung her eyes. “Maybe I shouldn't go.”

“Maisie Alexandra, you're going.” Cady shooed her toward the door. “You told that poor guy you would meet him there.”

She was right. It'd be hard to face him at the diner if she stood him up. “Alright, just let me feed Boots and I'll go.”

Cady nodded and left the room. Maisie went over to Boots's cage and opened the wire door. He popped his head out and got on his wheel. The hamster was an exercise fanatic. Was that a bald spot on his back? Without thinking, she reached inside the cage and gently scooped Boots off his wheel. Even squirming, she could tell he had a chunk of missing fur near his rear. Maisie frowned and put him back inside. It was the first time she'd held her pet. She didn't even know how much she liked him until she thought something was wrong. Maybe she could ask Ryan about it. If he really was a vet and not some crazy person.

• • •

After a lemon shake-up and making a full circle around the carnival, Ryan still hadn't spotted Maisie in the crowd. He hoped she hadn't had a change of heart about meeting him. He saw Alice and waved to her and her husband. They had just come off the Ferris wheel and were laughing. He got an ache in his chest. He wanted someone to laugh with. Well not just someone — a redhead named Maisie.

The carnival was alive with music and lights. The smell of all the tasty treats on a stick made him feel as if he were ten again wanting a taste of everything. He continued to walk around, hoping she would show. Just as he was about to give up, he spied a short ponytail of bright red on a bench near the colorful tilt-a-whirl. As he walked toward her, he smiled and his heart sped up. She'd come. Until that moment, he hadn't been sure she would.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” He didn't wait for a response as he sat down next to her.

She cast her jade eyes up to him. “Hello.”

“Hi. You look pretty.”

Her face turned almost the shade of her hair. “Thanks.”

He glanced at the ride in front of them. “Do you want to ride?”

Maisie shook her head. “No. I'm more of a Ferris wheel girl.”

Ryan stood up and held out his hand. “Then let's go get some cotton candy and ride the Ferris wheel.”

• • •

She looked at his hand. His beautiful, manicured, yet masculine hand. Rubbing her lips together, unsure of what to do, she put her hand in his. They walked over to the cotton candy booth holding hands. Maisie felt that feeling of an out-of-body experience again, like she was living someone else's life. Ryan ordered them a huge stick of yellow and green cotton candy.

She took a bite of the sugary air. “I haven't had this since I was a kid.”

Ryan nodded and turned the cone of fluff in his hand. “There's something magical about cotton candy, don't you think? One bite and it can take you back to your childhood like a time machine.”

Maisie took another mouthful that melted as soon as it touched her tongue.

“I guess so.”
Ryan is like an overgrown kid. The night should be fun if I don't think too much.

The line for the Ferris wheel seemed short compared to the other rides, so they headed over and stood in the queue. A group of teenagers giggled and pushed each other behind them. Within minutes they were strapped in the metal bucket seat waiting to go up. A piece of green candy stuck to Ryan's lip. Without thinking, she reached over and wiped it off.

“You had a bit of candy,” she blushed and looked away. As they ascended to the top, the people and other rides got smaller. They were at the tip-top when the ride stopped to let more people on.

The bucket suddenly felt too small. His leg was against hers. “You can see the diner from here.” Maisie pointed to the east.

“And my clinic.” He nodded over to a small building around the corner from the diner.

Maisie remembered Boots. “Oh, I wanted to ask you something about my pet hamster.”

Ryan smiled. “You have a hamster?”

Maisie nodded. “My sister got him for me recently. Tonight when I was feeding him, I noticed a small bald spot on his lower back.”

His look became more serious. “Hmm, could be a few things. Why don't you bring him in tomorrow and I'll have a look.”

Maisie moved a stray hair out of her eyes. “You're open on Sundays?”

“No, but for you, I'll make an exception.” The piece of hair fell again, and Ryan moved it over. The feel of his fingers on her forehead made her breathless.

They started descending again. “Are you sure? I can wait 'til Monday.”

Ryan shrugged. “Not a big deal. I need to check on a sick lizard anyway.”

Maisie nodded. “Okay, I'll bring him by.”

When the ride came to a stop, Ryan helped her out of the seat. He was a true gentleman. They heard a band playing a slow song, and he walked her over to a bare area under some trees.

“Would you like to dance?”

She hesitated. This gorgeous man was standing in front of her asking her to dance. Should she? If she did, it was likely to lead to one or both of them with a broken heart.

Another couple not far from them started to sway to the soft music. “I'm not much of a dancer,” she lied.

Ryan took her in his arms. “I'll lead.” One of his hands rested on her waist while the other held her now sweaty hand.

Being this close to him gave her tingles down her spine. She could feel the muscles move through his shirt. It was too intimate for her comfort, so as soon as the song stopped, she pulled away.

“You're a great dancer,” he told her.

Maisie was about to disagree when there was a loud burst of colorful lights in the night sky. They stood together and watched the fireworks as they boomed and shook the ground beneath them.

Ryan looked over at her. “So, I don't know much about you.”

Maisie watched as the bright colors faded to smoke. “I'm a waitress. I live with my sister.”

Ryan nodded. “That's a start. But I already know you're a waitress.” He grinned. “Are you single?”

Maisie felt her face heat up all the way to her ears. “Yes, but not available.”

Ryan folded his arms across his chest. “Hmm. Can I ask why?”

She bit her lip. “No.”

Ryan laughed. “Would you like a lemon shake-up?”

Ready to get back over to the crowd, she nodded. “Sure.”

Maisie followed Ryan through the maze of people to the shake-up stand. A couple stood in front of them with a little girl in between them holding their hands. The sight of the family made her feel ill. The little girl with curly pigtails looked to be around two. Ryan handed Maisie her cold, sour drink, and she tore her eyes away from the happy family.

“Thanks.” She took a sip, but unable to hold back her tears, she handed the cup back to him. “I'm sorry, I have to go.” Hurting, she ran to her car without looking back.

Maisie pulled the covers over her head to drown out the sunlight. Thank God her sister hadn't been home when she'd arrived last night. She'd been in no mood to talk about her feelings. She could smell coffee brewing upstairs, so it was only a matter of time before Cady was down here asking questions. Questions she didn't want to answer.

She had tried to enjoy herself with Ryan. He must think her insane, running off like that. Oh, well, it's for the best. He had let her know he was interested in being more than friends. Oh how she wanted to love again and be loved again, but maybe her heart would never be ready for that.

“Knock, knock!” Her sister came into the room and pulled the covers back. The light burned her eyes. Now she knew how the vampires on the old horror movies felt.

“I'm sleeping in,” Maisie said as she pulled the covers back over herself and snuggled deeper into her mattress, willing her sister to go away.

“I'll say. It's eleven.” She paused. “I brought you breakfast.” Code for, “talk to me.”

“I'm not hungry.” Maisie's stomach growled loud enough for her sister to hear, making a liar out of her.

“Come on. You know I'm eager to hear how it went last night,” Cady pouted.

Maisie knew her sister was not going away until she got answers. She might as well get it over with. Looking like Grumpy, one of the seven dwarfs, she moved the cover off of her face and sat up in bed. Cady handed her the mug and a bowl of maple oatmeal. She took the coffee and took a long sip, feeling the liquid go all the way down to her empty stomach.

“It was fine.” She took a spoonful of oatmeal and said, “'Til I ran out on him, crying.” Then she crammed the food into her mouth and sighed.

The look of dismay on her sister's face looked almost as bad as the one on Ryan's. “What? Why? What happened?”

Maisie took another sip of caffeine. “I saw a family with a little girl around two years old.” She looked away. “It brought back a lot.” Would her baby have been a little girl? She had never found out. It was going to be a surprise. She'd never gotten to hold her baby. How did a person get over that?

Cady let out a deep breath. “Sis, it's okay. I'm sure Ryan will understand.”

Maisie shook her head. “No, because I don't. Why is my pain still so raw?” Everyone kept telling her time would heal her wounds, but so far it hadn't.

Cady put a hand on Maisie's knee. “That's normal. What isn't normal is not letting people in to help you with that pain.”

Maisie swallowed her bite of oatmeal. “I let you in.”

Cady smiled. “I know. I mean
other
people. Men, to be more specific.”

Her throat tightened as she looked away. “Do you think I'm being punished for something?”

“No, sometimes bad things happen to good people. It's not fair, but it's life.”

Easy for her sister to say; nothing bad ever happened to her.

Cady stood up and walked to the door. “Take a shower. I'm sure you'll feel better.” She went upstairs like she'd just given Maisie the answer to a missing piece of a puzzle she'd been working on for the last two years. She rolled her eyes and fell back on her bed.

• • •

Ryan was more than happy to have a dehydrated gecko to check on. Anything to get his mind off Maisie running away from him last night. Beth had run away, too. What had he done? Or was it something he hadn't done? He put the gecko back in the aquarium. The lizard's ten-year-old owner didn't know how to care for the little guy. He didn't understand parents who bought their kids pets without telling them how to properly care for them.

While he was at the clinic, he sliced some banana for the birds. He looked over at the counter and made a mental note to purchase more Cheerios. He kept a candy dish full of the cereal for customers to give their pets as treats, along the lines of a child getting a lollipop for a check-up. Just as he was about to leave, he saw a car pull around back. A few minutes later, his heart sped up when he saw a flash of red hair carrying a box.

Ryan hid his excitement and held the door open for Maisie.

“Hi. I hope it was still okay to bring Boots by today.” Her eyes were apologetic.

“Of course! Come in.” Ryan closed and locked the door behind her as she walked to the counter. What was it about her eyes that made his heart melt?

Maisie blew out a breath. “I'm sorry about last night.”

Ryan examined her pet. “So am I. What happened?”

She frowned. “Can we just let it go, please?”

Ryan didn't want to scare her off, so he just nodded as he continued to check out her hamster. She watched him as if she were worried he was about to tell her the little guy had some kind of incurable disease.

• • •

Finally he looked up at her. “Well, it could be a number of things. I'd like to check for ringworm and mites.”

Maisie scrunched her nose. “Is that serious?”

He shook his head. “Even if that's what is causing him to lose fur, he'll be just fine.”

Ryan took the sample he needed for the lab. Maisie watched how gentle he was with Boots. He really was a good man.

He washed and dried his hands. “I'll call you with the results in a few days.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Maisie reached into her pink purse. “How much do I owe you?”

Ryan scratched his head. “I'll tell you what, have dinner with me and we'll call it even.”

This guy wasn't giving up. She did feel bad about the way she left him last night. “Okay. Dinner.” She paused. “Anywhere, but the diner.” The last thing she needed was Lola and Ginger seeing her with Ryan.

“Oh, I know of a place that has the most delicious food. It does take a while to get there. Are you free for the rest of the evening?”

She didn't want to say no after what she'd done to him last night. Maisie watched Boots bury himself in the bedding she'd stuck inside the box. “I guess so.”

“Great, I can follow you home and we can go from there.” He must be afraid she'd change her mind or bail on him again. She couldn't say she blamed the man.

Would he take her to some fancy restaurant? “What should I wear? I mean are these jeans okay?”

Ryan looked to his own jeans and buttery yellow T-shirt. “Perfect.”

She nodded, relieved.

Still, her hands shook a few minutes later as she started her car. What did she just agree to? If he drove, she'd have no escape if things got too tough for her to handle. She looked over at the box Boots was inside and remembered how Ryan had examined him with such care. Any man that loved animals as much as he did had to be sincere. She let out a breath and glanced in her rear-view mirror at his metallic-green SUV following close behind her.