Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (58 page)

Formal Collar.  Also sometimes referred to as a
slave collar, full collar, or true collar.
  The formal collar is
often said to be analogous to a
wedding ring.
  It is symbolic of
what is usually intended to be a lifelong committed and loving relationship
between a Dominant and his submissive.  Formal collaring ceremonies,
similar to weddings, are often performed to commemorate and consecrate the
beginning of the relationship.  The symbolism of a formal collar obviously
means different things to different couples, but it is often referred to as the
ultimate gift of one’s submission and self to another; a manifestation of
complete and total
power exchange.
 
(See also: Collar, Collar of
consideration, Collar of Protection, Day collar, Play collar, Training collar)

Forced Bed Wetting.  The practice of forcing submissives
to urinate in the bed they must lie in, or to wet themselves in general, in
order to emphasize the Dominant’s control over the submissive, or as part of
bathroom access control. 
(See also: AB/DL, Age Play, Bathroom access
control, Diaper play, Humiliation, Tickling, Urine Play)

Forced Collaring.  Forced collaring is a
uniquely
online phenomenon
practiced almost entirely by pretenders to
the D/s lifestyle.  The notion that a person can be forced into a
collared
relationship
against his or her will is ludicrous, but the mythology that
surrounds it continues to be perpetuated by those who are ignorant of the
lifestyle and the true symbolism of a collar.  Many of the would-be
submissives who encounter forced collaring for the first time in online chat
rooms and similar venues have
no idea
that it’s a farce, and so they
play along, thinking that perhaps it’s some sort of requirement for entry into
the mysterious sisterhood of submissives.  Invariably, the victim soon
learns that the supposed Dominant
doesn’t have a clue
, the entire
situation was a
joke
, and that she’s been made to look like a complete
idiot.  For more information on this topic, see Chapter 5: Online BDSM
Relationships. 
(See also: Collar)

Forced Dressing. 
Forced dressing
refers
to any scene or activity where the Dominant requires the submissive to wear
specific types or articles of clothing.  Typically, forced dressing is
used as a part of forced feminization or humiliation play; i.e. when a FemDom
forces a submissive male to wear effeminate clothing or lingerie. 
(See
also: FemDom, Forced Feminization, Humiliation)

Forced Feminization. 
Forced Feminization
is the practice, commonly imposed by FemDom Mistresses upon submissive males,
of forcing them to assume traditionally female roles, positions, and traits as
part of a humiliation regimen. 
(See also: FemDom, Forced Dressing,
Humiliation)

Forced Heterosexuality. 
Forced
heterosexuality
is the practice of compelling a submissive who typically
self-identifies as homosexual to engage in sexual activity with a person of the
opposite sex, generally as part of humiliation play. 
(See also:
FemDom, Humiliation.)

Forced Homosexuality. 
Forced homosexuality
is the practice of compelling a submissive who typically self-identifies as
heterosexual to engage in sexual activity with a person of the same sex,
generally as part of humiliation play. 
(See also: FemDom,
Humiliation.)

Forced Masturbation. 
Forced Masturbation
is
the practice of forcing a submissive to engage in masturbation while the Dominant,
and/or others observe.  It is often utilized as part of humiliation play
or age play. 
(See also: Age Play, Humiliation.)

Forced Nudity. 
Forced Nudity
refers to
the practice of denying a submissive the right or opportunity to wear
clothing.  Forced nudity may be for the duration of a single scene or
event, or may be enforced 24/7 in a Dominant’s household.

Forced Orgasm. 
Forced Orgasm
is the
practice of causing a person to experience an orgasm,
ostensibly
against
their will.  Since this is, in reality,
highly unlikely
for fairly
obvious reasons, forced orgasm is generally associated with
role play
involving rape, abduction, bondage, and humiliation.  While both men
and
women sometimes fantasize about being forced to have unwilling orgasms by a
Dominant, men have the unique challenge of being unable to convincingly
simulate an erection or orgasm.  A question that frequently arises on this
topic is:
Why wouldn’t anyone want to have an orgasm?
  The answer
is quite simple:
Guilt.
   Society teaches many of us from
birth that we shouldn’t be turned on by many of the things that we do find
stimulating.  There can also be religious, relationship-related, and
psychological reasons for repressing the urge to orgasm.  One fairly
common example is the woman who, as the result of a rape or sexual abuse in her
past, now associates sex with the abuse and finds it difficult, if not
impossible, to have an orgasm the “normal” way.  Role play that involves
being “forced” to have an orgasm against her will allows her to enjoy the
benefits of an orgasm without experiencing the associated guilt for having done
so.

Forced Servitude. 
Forced Servitude
is
the practice of compelling a person, typically a submissive, to perform
service-related tasks for a Dominant and/or other members of his or her
household. 

Forced Smoking. 
Forced smoking
refers
to the practice of compelling a bottom to inhale the Top’s exhaled cigarette
smoke.  It is practiced perhaps most commonly by FemDoms as part of
humiliation, sissification, asphyxiation, or torture play.  This can be
done in a variety of ways, ranging from simply blowing smoke into a bound
bottom’s face to pumping smoke into the bottom’s hood or
gas mask.
 
The discomfort felt by the bottom, naturally, is significantly increased if he
or she is a
non-smoker.  (See also: Breath Play, FemDom, Humiliation,
Sissification, Torture)

Forniphilia.  The derivation of pleasure from
being considered and used as if you were a piece of furniture.  This may
include humiliation, bondage, blindfolds, gags or other forms of BDSM play, but
may also be as simple as having a person kneel and be used as a
footstool.  Unlike most other forms of bondage, forniphilia play may
involve remaining bound for extended periods of time, and in those cases,
should be practiced with caution. 
(See also: Human Furniture, Bondage,
Humiliation, FemDom)

Furry.  This term refers to someone who engages
in a particular form of animal
role play
characterized by adopting, to
the greatest extent possible, the
appearance and some mannerisms
of a
chosen animal.  Furries envision themselves and role play the part of
humans
in animal bodies
unlike
primals
, who typically imagine themselves as
animals in human bodies
.  Many furry role players have an
assortment of animal personas, avatars, or costumes to choose from and will
switch between them frequently.  The most common furry animal roles chosen
are cats, dogs ponies, skunks, foxes, rabbits, wolves, and ferrets. 
Growth in the furry phenomenon has sprung mostly out of
cosplay fandom;
it
is immensely popular among teens and young adults.  It is, for that
reason, sometimes viewed as a
gateway or introduction
to more
traditional D/s relationships and BDSM activities. 
Furry role play
is
not
the same thing as
pet role play
, even though there may
sometimes be significant overlap. 
(See also: Pet play, Pony play,
Ponygirl/Ponyboy, Primal, Role play)
 

Gag.  A gag refers to just about anything
placed in or over the mouth (OTM) or even over the nose (OTN) to prevent
speech, outcries, biting, or the like.  Gags can include such things as an
unpretentious strip of cloth, a wide strip of duct tape, a wooden rod, a
ball-gag, open-mouth bracing, or even a pony bit. 

Gang Rape Fantasy.  Refers to fantasies and/or
role play involving being forced to submit to sex with multiple partners,
usually in conjunction with abduction play, bondage, torture, or humiliation
play.  Expressing a gang rape fantasy or any kind of rape fantasy does
not
mean that someone desires to be raped in
real life.
  When
engaging in any form of rape-related role play,
particularly with new play
partners
, it is
highly
recommended that you
thoroughly document
the consensual nature of the planned activity prior to the scene. 
(See
also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, Prison fantasy, Rape fantasy)

Gas Mask.  Gas masks are typically military
surplus protective masks and/or hoods originally designed to filter chemical or
biological toxins out of the wearer’s breathing air.  Usually, the
original filters have been removed, so as not to restrict or affect the
wearer’s breathing.  Gas masks are used for the same purposes as any other
BDSM hood, which is commonly to create discomfort, restrict the wearer’s
vision, hearing, or ability to speak, produce feelings of claustrophobia, or to
humiliate.  Gas masks are also sometimes worn by bottoms in asphyxiation
play or forced smoking play and by Tops in abduction or rape fantasy play to
conceal their identities. 
(See also:  Abduction play,
Asphyxiation play, Forced Smoking, Hoods, Humiliation, Smoking play)

Gates of Hell.  Refers to a device worn around
the penis and testicles typically consisting of a connected series of rings
that encircle the penis with a ring or strap that is secured around the
testicles to keep the device in place.  The gates of hell may or may not
be locked into place with a lock or securing mechanism.  The device is
used primarily for cock and ball torture (CBT) or for aesthetic purposes. 
(See also: CBT)
 

Girlfag.  A person who was born and remains
assigned female, yet feels a strong sexual attraction to gay and bisexual
men.  A
girlfag
differs from a
fag hag
because while a
fag
hag
has a strong affinity for gay and bisexual men, her relationships with
them are strictly platonic; she is sexually attracted to heterosexual men.

Given Away.  Being
“given away”
is
typically an activity enjoyed by
some
Master/slave couples which
consists of a Master bestowing a third party with the temporary use of his
slave for purely sexual purposes. 
(See also: Auction, Master, Slave)
 

Golden Shower. 
Golden showers
is a
euphemistic term for one form of
urine play,
which is also called
urolagnia,
urophilia, or water sports. 
It is generally an activity enjoyed by
people who are sexually aroused by the thought or sight of urine or
urination.  This sort of play may take various forms, to include
infantilism, diaper play, bathroom access control play, humiliation play, urine
consumption, clothes or bed wetting, or voyeurism.  Contrary to popular
belief, people are told to wash their hands after urination not because urine
is unsanitary, but because
genitals
are.  Uncontaminated urine is
actually
sterile.  (See also: Bathroom Access Control, Brown showers,
Humiliation, Scat, Urine play, Water sports)

Gor.  Gor is the name of a fictional planet
whose people were the subject of a series of pulp fiction novels by John
Frederick Lange Jr. writing under the pen name
John Norman
. 
Devotees of the
“Gorean”
subculture of the D/s lifestyle pattern their
relationship and social dynamics, language, customs, protocols, and even their
sexual activities after the manner of the people of this fictional planet
,
which
is also sometimes referred to by the series publishers as
“Counter-Earth.”
 
The planet, as envisioned by John Norman, is ruled by a technologically
advanced insect-like race of Priest-Kings who have, over the course of eons,
transported large numbers of humans from earth to populate the planet, many of
whom are made slaves, if they happen to be female. 
(See also: Master,
Kajira)

Group Marriage.  Generally refers to any
marriage or relationship resembling a marriage that has more than two partners,
typically without regard to the legal standing of the relationship in the eyes
of the law.  Group marriage is also sometimes referred to as
plural
marriage.
 
(See also: Polyamory, Polyandry, Polygyny.)
 

Gun Play. 
Gun play
is a form of BDSM
edge-play
which consists of using a firearm or simulated firearm to create sensations of
fear and/or arousal in the bottom.  This sort of play can be
extremely
dangerous
if anyone involved in the scene is unfamiliar with basic weapons safety
procedures.  Even overly curious bystanders can put themselves or others
at risk if proper precautions are not meticulously observed.  Gun play is
sometimes combined with abduction or rape fantasy play. 
(See also:
Abduction play, Edge play, Gang rape fantasy, Humiliation, Interrogation play,
Rape fantasy)
  

Guydyke.  A person who was born and remains
assigned male, yet his primary sexual attraction is to gay and bisexual
females, usually to the complete exclusion of heterosexual females. 

Hairbrush Spanking.  Paddling or spanking with
the flat back-side of a hairbrush. 
(See also: Paraphilia, Paddling,
Spanking)