Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (61 page)

Pony Play.  Pony Play refers to a form of pet
play that involves assuming the role of a pet pony.  Ponies typically fall
into three categories:  cart ponies, riding ponies, and show ponies. 
Cart ponies pull a small cart called a sulky, which carries her owner or other
riders.  Riding ponies prefer to be ridden directly, either while on all
fours, or standing, with the rider on her back or shoulders.  Since this
can be problematic due to the rider’s weight, it is often
simulated.   Show ponies are all about the
dressage
, and often
wear very elaborate plumes, braids, harnesses, bridles, and other decorative
items. 
(See also: Pet play, Ponygirl, Ponyboy, Pony Slave)

Ponygirl / Ponyboy / Pony Slave.  Refers to a
person who enjoys or gets sexually aroused by assuming the role of a pony for
pony play. 
(See also: Pet play, Pony play.)

Poppers.  Typically refers to small glass
ampules encased in a pouch made of absorbent material. The ampules, when
crushed, release a liquid that soaks the absorbent material and becomes an
inhalant that produces a momentary feeling of heart-pounding euphoria or
inebriation.  Poppers usually contain amyl nitrate, butyl nitrate or other
similar compounds and are sold over-the-counter in adult retail establishments
under various brand names as liquid incense.  The same inhalants are also
often sold in liquid form in small bottles as solvents, cleaners, or air
fresheners.  Inhaling the fumes during sex often results in intense
orgasm, increased heart rate and respiration, and relaxation of the anal
sphincter.  Overuse of poppers and similar inhalants can lead to serious
medical problems, including death.   

Postural Asphyxiation. 
Postural
asphyxiation
occurs when a person’s
body position
makes it difficult
or impossible for that person to breathe.  Different people may be
susceptible to postural asphyxiation as a result of different positions, which
makes it extremely difficult to anticipate or take preventative measures
for.  The best strategy for mitigating the effects of postural
asphyxiation is
continuous monitoring
of the bottom’s physical,
emotional, and cognitive condition. 
(See also: Asphyxiation,
Autoerotic asphyxiation)

Predicament Bondage. 
Predicament bondage
typically
refers to a scene that features either a bondage position that is untenable or
difficult to maintain for very long, or the dilemma of having to choose between
two equally uncomfortable or painful options.  An example of the former
would be a bondage position that requires a bottom to stand on his or her
tiptoes in order to reduce the discomfort of a partial suspension.  As the
tiptoe stance becomes untenable and the bottom stands
flat-footed
, the
discomfort of the partial suspension becomes significantly more intense. 
An example of the latter would be a bottom who is given a choice between having
her ass spanked and having her pussy spanked.  When she gives a signal
that one has become unbearable, the Top will switch to the other, alternating
back and forth as appropriate.  Predicament bondage is generally
considered to be a form of
edge play
, meaning that it carries a higher
than average risk of injury. 
(See also: Bondage, Kinbaku, Restraints,
Shibari)

Primal.  A person who embraces his or her
animalistic
or primal instincts
.  Primals are often neither inherently dominant
nor submissive by nature.  Primals tend to prefer nontraditional poly relationships
patterned on the
pack or pride dynamic
, similar to that of wolves and
lions.  Primals
do
treat dominance and submission as a significant
part of their interactions with others, but it is something that is fluid and
spontaneous, and often established in an ad-hoc, spur of the moment fashion
upon meeting someone for the first time.  This process of establishing
dominance or submission may involve stare-downs, sniffing, verbal sparring, or
even physical aggression.  On a hypothetical spectrum with
role play
at one end and
real life
at the other, primalism tends to be a core
personality trait, while furryism is more a matter of role play.  A primal
considers himself an
animal in a human body
, while a furry
envisions
himself and role plays as a human in an
animal body.  (See also: Furry,
Pet play, Role play)

Prison Fantasy. 
Prison fantasies and role
play
typical involve simulations of being held captive in a jail cell,
prison, or cage and being humiliated, punished or coerced to engage in sexual
acts.  This type of role play is often combined with abduction play,
medical play, humiliation and bondage. 
(See also: Abduction play,
Bondage, Caging, Humiliation, Medical play)
 

Protocol.  The customs, courtesies and
practices of a group which have become semi-formalized over time, and are
generally expected to be observed by members of the group.  There are
certain protocols common to almost all aspects of the D/s lifestyle, as well as
certain protocols that are specific only to subcultures within the lifestyle. 
One example of a protocol that is common to the BDSM lifestyle in general is
the customary use of honorifics, such as
Master, Mistress, Sir, or Ma’am
. 
An example of a custom or protocol common to the
Littles
subculture
might be the practice of addressing a Dominant as
Mister, Mistress, Daddy,
or Mommy.
  For more information about typical BDSM munch group customs
and protocols, see Chapter 10 - BDSM Groups and Activities.

Puppy Play. 
(See: Pet play)

Pussy Spanking. 
Pussy spanking
consists
of strikes to a woman’s genitalia with a bare, open hand.  The strikes may
be soft or hard, singular or multiple strikes, slow or fast-paced, or any
combination of the above.  Pussy spanking is often done in conjunction
with other types of impact play, to include traditional OTK spankings, and
bondage play.  
(See also: Impact play, OTK spanking, Spanking)

Pussy Whipping. 
Pussy whipping
generally refers to any activity that consists of striking a female bottom’s
genitals with an implement such as a whip, crop, slapper, flogger, or
cane.  Pussy whipping is often done while a bottom is immobilized by
restraints or as a part of humiliation play. 
(See also: Bondage,
Crops, Humiliation, Impact play, Pussy spanking)

Pussy Worship. 
Pussy worship
consists
of an intense, demonstrated adoration of female genitalia.  While it is
technically a
fetish
, pussy worship is not a
paraphilia
, since
the genitalia
is normally
associated with sexual arousal.  
(See
also: FemDom, Humiliation, Paraphilia, Queening, Queening Stool, Smotherbox)

Quad.  A
quad
is a polyamorous
relationship consisting of four people. 
(See also: Polyamory.)

Queening. 
(See: Face Sitting)

Queening Stool.  A
queening stool
is a
specialized stool that allows access to the seated person’s bare genitals to a
person lying on his or her back below.  It is used primarily for
forced
cunnilingus, or face sitting.
 
(See also: Face Sitting,
Humiliation, Queening, Smotherbox)

Rack. 
Racks
are sometimes referred to
as
torture
or
stretching racks
and were used for torture, and
sometimes even
execution,
for over two thousand years.  A
traditional rack consisted of a wooden frame or table-like device which sat
horizontally or at a slight incline, with
ratcheting rollers or cylinders
at
each end.  Attached to the ratcheting rollers were ropes, chains or cables
which were, in turn, attached to wrist or ankle cuffs.  A subject would be
placed on the rack and restrained by the wrist and ankle cuffs before his
torturer would begin ratcheting the rollers tight to put excruciating tension
on the arms and legs.  Often, the person would be held immobile on the
rack by the tension while other forms of torture, such as whipping, burning, or
cutting were applied.  Eventually, the tension would be increased and the
subject’s cartilage, ligaments, and bones would begin to pop, tear, and
dislocate.  Modern-day racks used in BDSM play apply the same general
mechanism to stretch a person out lengthwise by his wrists and ankles,
typically to immobilize the subject while
other
things are done to him. 
(See also: St. Andrews Cross, Table play, Torture)

R.A.C.K.  Acronym for Risk Aware Consensual
Kink.  Refers to the practice of knowing and evaluating the
realistic
risks
of what you are doing, and whom you are doing it with, before
engaging in any BDSM activity. 
(See also: S.S.C.)

Rape Fantasy.  Sexual arousal or gratification
from thinking about or acting out a fantasy or simulated rape scene is
relatively common, yet rarely discussed openly in polite society for a number
of good reasons.  In the BDSM lifestyle, rape role play is generally
referred to as a form of
“consensual non-consent”
, meaning that a bottom
gives actual consent to the activity
prior to a scene
, with the
understanding that
any non-consent that is expressed during a scene is not
to be taken seriously.
  Obviously, this can be a very risky activity
for everyone involved, since even the simplest misunderstanding can have
serious ramifications.  This sort of play is also highly controversial in
the sense that there are people who feel that it glorifies or legitimizes
violence against women and that
even discussing
it can needlessly
traumatize those who have been victimized in the past. 
(See also:
Abduction play, Bondage, Consent, Consensual non-consent, Prison fantasy,
R.A.C.K., and S.S.C.)

Religious Fantasy. 
Religious fantasy and
role play
typically relies on iconic religious symbols, rituals, or
authority figures such as priests and nuns for sexual arousal or
gratification.  The fantasies often rely heavily upon the societal taboo
of mixing sex and religion which, for many people, makes it feel all the more
sacrilegious and naughty.  For some, particularly people who may have been
raised in a religious home, a religious authority figure may be viewed as the
ultimate
Dominant,
acting with the
authority of God.
  Still others may
have no religious background at all, but take great joy in skewering society’s
sacred
cows
in a variety of kinky ways.  Religious fantasy and role play should
not
be confused with the relationship dynamic that exists between a
Lesser
God Dominant
and his or her
acolytes.
 
(See also: Acolyte,
Lesser God Dominant, Role play)

Restraints. 
Restraints
refer to
virtually anything that can be used to immobilize or limit the movement of a
bottom in a bondage scene.  The most common forms of BDSM restraints are
wrist and ankle cuffs, handcuffs, thigh cuffs, arm cuffs, collars, arm sleeves,
bondage harnesses, spreader bars, and similar types of bondage gear. 
(See
also: Arm/Leg sleeves, Bondage, Collars, Harness, Kinbaku, Shibari, Spreader
bar)

Role Play. 
Role playing
refers to any
activity that involves
acting out roles
in a hypothetical or fantasy
scenario.  Role play in the BDSM lifestyle is typically erotic in nature
and usually involves a power exchange dynamic of some sort.  The most
common forms of BDSM role play are Topping, bottoming, and switching.  A
person need not necessarily be a Dominant to Top, nor a submissive to
bottom.  Sexual role play is also often associated with various types of
paraphilia
,
or sexual arousal from things not typically associated with sex. 
(See
also: AB/DL, Abandonment, Abduction play, Age play, Auctions, Bottom, Diaper
play, Forniphilia, Gor, Infantilism, Injection play, Interrogation play,
Kiajira, Medical Play, Paraphilia, Pet play, Pony play, Ponygirl/ponyboy,
Prison Fantasy, Religious fantasy, Switch, Top, Veterinary play)

Rope Play.  Any BDSM activity that involves
rope
bondage
or
suspension
. 
(See also: Bondage, Kinbaku, Restraints,
Shibari, Suspension).

Rubber. 
Rubber
comes in two varieties -
natural and synthetic. 
Latex,
which is sometimes erroneously
considered to be something different from rubber, is actually the sap that is a
natural
component
of rubber.  Synthetic rubber, on the other hand,
is produced from petroleum compounds and does
not
contain latex. 
This distinction is relatively unimportant to most people, unless you happen to
suffer allergic reactions to latex products. 
Rubber
is a term that
is often generically applied to just about any material which demonstrates a
high degree of
elasticity,
to include some types of PVC which are
technically
not
a form of rubber.  Rubber is popular and commonly
used in the BDSM culture for sex toys, impact toys, restraints, and high-end
specialty fetish-wear. 
(See also: Polyvinyl chloride/PVC )

Sadism. 
Sadism
is the enjoyment,
satisfaction, or sexual arousal from inflicting
physical or emotion pain
,
suffering, humiliation, or discomfort upon another person.  It can
manifest itself as a personality trait that has no connection whatsoever to the
fetish culture, or as an intense sexual kink, or anything in-between.  In
extreme cases, it can even be classified as a mental disorder.  The
psychological
classifications of sexual sadists fall into four categories: