Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (62 page)

·
        
The Class I
Sexual Sadist has sadistic thoughts and fantasies of inflicting pain and
suffering on his or her sex partners, but
does not act
on those sadistic
sexual fantasies.

·
        
The Class II
Sexual Sadist has sadistic thoughts and fantasies of inflicting pain and
suffering on his or her sex partners and acts out those sadistic urges, but
only
with consenting adult partners.

·
        
The Class III
Sexual Sadist commits criminal acts by acting on his or her sadistic
compulsions with
non-consenting victims,
but doesn’t go so far as to
seriously injure or kill his victims.

·
        
Class IV Sexual
Sadist commits criminal acts by acting on his or her sadistic compulsions with
non-consenting
victims
and
does
seriously injure or kill them.

In short, Class I sexual sadists are
in the
closet
.  Class II sexual sadists fit right in with your typical BDSM
lifestyle kinksters.  Class III sexual sadists are
criminal predators
,
and Class IV sexual sadists are
pathologically dangerous criminals
. 
(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadistic Dominant)

Sadistic Dominant.  A Sadistic Dominant is one
who enjoys or is sexually aroused by inflicting physical or emotional pain,
suffering or humiliation upon his partners.  Whether or not the Sadistic
Dom’s partner is a masochist is usually
not relevant
to the pleasure he
derives from it. 
(See also: Dominant, Masochism, Sadism)

Sadomasochism. 
(See: Masochism, Sadism,
Sadistic Dominant)

Safe Word.  A
safe word
is a
pre-arranged, mutually understood and agreed-upon code-word that can be used by
a bottom during a BDSM scene to signal to the Top and/or anyone else present
that all activity must stop immediately.  The use of a safe-word is
typically the result of one or more of the bottom’s soft or hard limits being
exceeded; however, for all practical purposes, it can be used
anytime
a
bottom cannot continue with a scene, since one of the defining characteristics
of a safe word is that no explanation is required, nor should one be demanded when
it is used.  A safe word should be
unusual
enough that it is not
uttered inadvertently or misunderstood when it is used deliberately, however it
should not be
so
unusual that it can’t be recalled or is difficult to
say when in pain or under stress.

Saint Andrews Cross.  The
St Andrew’s cross
,
which is also sometimes referred to as an
X-frame
or
saltire cross
,
consists essentially of two cross-beams in the form of a large letter “X”, with
hardware at the ends of the beams to facilitate the attachment of wrist and
ankle restraints.  It may or may not be padded, may be completely vertical
or canted, and can be constructed from practically any sturdy material. 
Bottoms may be attached facing the cross or facing outward, depending on the
type of play being contemplated. 
(See also: Bondage, Racks,
Restraints)

S.A.M./Sammy.  Acronym for
Smart-ass
Masochist.
  A
Sammy
is a submissive who intentionally
misbehaves, lacks discipline, and/or refuses to observe generally accepted
customs and protocol. 
(See also: Brat, Masochist, Protocol, Service
Top, Submissive, Topping from the Bottom)

Saran Wrap. 
(See: Bondage, Breath play,
Mummification, Immobilization, Postural asphyxiation)

Scene.  A BDSM
scene
may refer to any
BDSM activity and setting; however it more accurately refers to a BDSM activity
that is done in front of an
audience
.  A scene should be considered
a
performance
, and not be interrupted or interfered with in any
way.  Scenes do not usually involve explicitly
sexual
activity, but
there are always exceptions, and it is not uncommon for participants (or even
observers) to experience a
sexual reaction
to what might be considered
by most to be a
non-sexual
activity.  Before participating in any
kind of BDSM scene, always be sure that all participants are clear on exactly
what will be involved, whether it will involve sex, and what safety measures
will be in effect. 
(See also: Bondage, Bottom, Impact play, Fluid
bonding, Role play, Safe word, Top)

Sensation Play. 
Sensation play
refers
to any activity that involves a sharp focus on the physical sensations of
touch, temperature, taste, smell, hearing, and sight.  Some types of
sensation play may be very subtle and others not quite so subtle. 
Sensation play may also include sensory deprivation activities, such as the use
of blindfolds.  Other examples of sensation play are: tickle play,
temperature play (i.e. ice or hot wax), electrical play (i.e. violet wands or
TENS units), abrasion, and cupping. 
(See also: Abrasion play,
Blindfolds, Cupping, Electrical play, EMS units, Hot wax play, TENS units,
Tickle play, Violet wand)

Service Sub/Slave. 
(See also: Domestic)

Service Top.  A
Service Top
is a person
who is
topping
, or acting in a dominant role, at the request or
direction of their partner, who is a
bottom, submissive, or switch
. 
This type of direction or guidance by the bottom is sometimes called
topping
from the bottom.
 
(See also: Top, Switch, Bottom, Topping from the
bottom.)

Shibari.  A form of Japanese rope bondage that involves
highly intricate and visually appealing patterns and knots.  In the BDSM
lifestyle, there is a robust sub-culture devoted almost entirely to rope
bondage in general, and Japanese rope bondage in particular.  Some
devotees of shibari make the distinction between shibari, which is technically
the art of tying and knotting, and
kinbaku
, which is the application of
that art in an erotic or sexual way. 
(See also: Bondage, Kinbaku,
Restraints, Rope play, Suspension)

Slapping.  Striking the face with an open hand;
usually done to heighten a submissive’s emotional state.  Face slapping is
often an activity enjoyed by those who seek
humiliation
as part of their
BDSM play.  As a general rule, it is usually a good idea to
ensure
that your partner wants to have this done before engaging in it, since this is
an activity that can be an instant source of misunderstanding, and can turn
ugly
really fast.
 
(See also: Humiliation, Impact play,
Spanking)

Slave.  A submissive who cultivates and enjoys
the illusion that he or she has no free will.  The fact that this is an
illusion should surprise no one, since the foundation of any D/s relationship
is always
consent
.  Many in the lifestyle consider this a form of
consensual non-consent.  The many different types of slaves could
literally fill an entire book, but it should suffice to say that the word
slave
can mean very different things to different people.  Anyone
considering becoming a slave should define exactly what that means to everyone
involved, especially when one considers the fact that the law takes a dim view
of anything that resembles
actual
slavery. 
(See also: Consent,
Consensual non-consent, Gor, Master)

Slave Contract.  A
slave contract
is an
agreement which requires the slave to relinquish all personal rights, property,
finances and decision making powers to the slave-owner or Master.  Even
though they are quite popular, especially in the online BDSM community, there
are numerous reasons why slave contracts are illegal and unenforceable. 
(See
also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, Gor, Master)

Sleep Sack.  A
sleep sack
is simply a
cloth bag similar to a
sleeping bag
which can be used to enclose a
person either entirely or with the head protruding.  It is used most
commonly as a unique form of bondage and often in conjunction with other forms
of BDSM play such as age play and abduction play. 
(See also: Bondage,
Restraints)

Smotherbox.  A
smother box is a
device
used in activities involving
queening or face sitting
.  It is a box
with two openings - one on the vertical face of the box to allow the head entry
into the box, and the other in the top of the box to expose the face to the
Dominant’s genitals, above. The inside of a smotherbox is sometimes padded to
prevent the head from moving. 
(See also: Face sitting, Humiliation,
Queening, Queening stool.)

Spanking.  Any striking activity that involves
an open hand, unless it is to the face or breasts, in which case it is usually
considered
slapping. 
While spanking is generally associated with strikes
to the buttocks, it is also fairly common for spankings to target the inner
thighs, backs of the legs, and the groin area.  Depending on the D/s
dynamic, spankings can be delivered as either reward or punishment, or even a
combination of the two.  Some people like to differentiate an
erotic
spanking
(which usually involves sexual fondling or other sex acts) from a
simple spanking, which does not.  A spanking can be an end in itself, or
used as a type of foreplay that is used to heighten psychological or physical
arousal.  Spankings are often combined with bondage, age play, and other
types of scenes. 
(See also: Impact play, Pussy spanking, Slapping)

Speculum.  A
speculum (plural: specula)
is
a hand-held medical device which facilitates looking into body cavities. 
It is used most commonly by a gynecologist to examine a woman’s vagina, obtain
a Pap test sample, or to conduct a biopsy.  Specula may come in a variety
of designs, to include vaginal, anal, dilating, and even some with mechanisms
to inflate the body cavity with air.  In the BDSM culture, specula are
used primarily in medical role play. 
(See also: Medical play)

Spreader Bar.  A
spreader bar
is a
device designed to keep a person’s legs spread wide apart in order to provide
easy access to his or her genitalia.  It is essentially just a stick, two
to four feet in length, with rings at each end, to which
ankle (or
sometimes, wrist) cuff
s may be attached.   Some spreader bar
designs incorporate additional features such as center-mounted shackles for
wrists or collars, adjustable length, extra rings or clips, or suspension
gear. 
(See also: Bondage, Restraints)

Squick. 
Squick
is a recently coined
word which means to be viscerally turned-off by something.  It is often
used synonymously for
repulsed or disgusted,
as in,
“Scat play really
squicks me out.” 
It is generally believed that the word is a
combination of
squeamish and icky,
though the actual etymology is
unclear.
 
There has been some controversy regarding whether or not
repulsion
and/or
disgust
carry connotations of
judgment and moralizing.
 
This is a particularly sensitive topic in a culture where judging and
moralizing are generally considered the ultimate taboo.  Being
disguste
d
by a BDSM scene
may imply to some
that you consider what the
participants are doing to be
morally wrong. 
On the other hand,
certain foods can disgust you without there being any implication of moral
judgment.  This controversy is not likely to be settled anytime soon.

S.S.C.  Acronym for
Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
 
For many years, SSC was a popular mantra of the BDSM culture; however recently
it has come under a great deal of scrutiny and criticism for being far too
subjective to be useful.  Obviously, one person’s notion of what is “safe”
can differ greatly from another’s, and
sanity
can be hard to define in
any
context. 
(See also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, R.A.C.K.)

Stocks.  Stocks and pillories were popular in
medieval times as a form of public humiliation and punishment.  The two terms
are often used interchangeably, but they are technically two very
different
devices. 
Both typically consist of hinged or sliding planks of wood with cut-outs used
for restraining certain parts of the human body.  A
pillory,
however,
is used to restrain the
hands and neck only
, and is supported in such a
way that the person in it
must stand.
 
Stocks
are set
vertically
and used to immobilize only the subject’s
arms and legs
while he
typically
sits. 
Some variations immobilize
all three
appendages
- the neck, arms,
and
legs.  Stocks, pillories, and similar devices
are usually generically referred to as
stocks. (See also: Bondage,
Discipline, Humiliation) 

Strait Jacket.  A
straitjacket
is
typically a canvas garment top that closes in the back and has overly long
sleeves which, when worn, are crossed over the chest and then tied or buckled
in the back, which prevents the wearer from using his arms and hands. 
Some newer designs are made with leather, latex rubber, PVC or a combination of
those materials.  Minor variations can include arms that cross in the back
instead of across the chest, the addition of wrist or crotch straps,
breast-access zippers, built-in toy harnesses, built-in chastity belts, and
sturdy closures or fasteners that will accommodate padlocks. 
(See
also: Abduction play, Bondage, Interrogation play, Medical play, Prison
fantasy)