Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (60 page)

Master. 
Master
is an appellation,
title, or even a term of endearment which may be used by a slave or submissive
for his or her Dominant.  Some Dominants consider
Master
to be a
generic
synonym
for Dominant, although that practice is generally most
prevalent in the Gorean subculture.  Other Dominants reserve the use of
the title of
Master
only to those whom they have collared.  
(See
also: Collar, Dominant, Gor, Slave, Submissive)

Masturbation Restrictions.  Refers to any activity
or scene that prevents or limits a bottom’s ability to masturbate, either in
the short term (i.e. for a scene) or for the long term (i.e. days, weeks, or
months).  Masturbation restrictions may take the form of a command by the
Dominant to avoid masturbation for a specific period of time or under specific
circumstances, or can consist of restrictions enforced by devices or
clothing.  It is also sometimes used for amusement, teasing, or torture by
having a bottom masturbate to the point where he or she is at the point of
orgasm, and then is commanded to stop.  Once the impending orgasm has been
deferred, the cycle is repeated again and again, growing more frustrating for
the bottom with each interrupted orgasm. 
(See also: Chastity belt,
Humiliation, Mitts)

Medical Fantasy.  Medical fantasy and role play
refers to assuming the roles of a medical professional (doctor or nurse, for
example) and patient for purposes of BDSM play or sexual arousal and
gratification.  Medical play typically consists of simulated examinations,
treatments, procedures, injections, operations or torture.  It is
sometimes combined with age play, abduction and interrogation play, CBT, or
even
pet play
in the form of
veterinary role play.
 
(See
also: Age play, Abduction play, CBT, Infantilism, Injection play, Interrogation
play, Pet play)

Mentoring. 
Mentoring
refers to the
practice of guiding, teaching and advising another on aspects of the D/s or
BDSM lifestyles.  Typically a Dominant will mentor another Dominant, or a
submissive will mentor another submissive, and the relationship is a casual,
friendly one rather than a formal one.

Misandry.  Hatred or dislike of men as a class;
not necessarily targeting men as individuals.  Often used as a significant
part of the FemDom’s sadistic role-reversal repertoire. 
(See also:
CBT, FemDom, Humiliation, Sadism)

Mitts. 
BDSM mitts
are typically made of
leather or other heavy-duty materials, and are used to prevent a bottom from
using his or her hands and, most commonly,
to prevent masturbation.
 
Other common uses include immobilizing the wrists and hands by attaching them
to other bondage gear, hobbling someone to make an assigned task
near-impossible to accomplish, or for disciplinary or humiliation
purposes. 
(See also: Bondage, Humiliation, Masturbation restrictions)

Mouth Bit.  A
mouth bit
is a type of
gag
which consists of a cylindrical bar placed between the teeth of the wearer, and
held in place by straps or a bridle.  Actual horse bits are generally made
of metal, but the mouth bits used in BDSM play are usually made from rubber or
a rigid material (plastic/metal) with a pliable coating to provide more
protection for the teeth and lips.  Mouth bits are most commonly used in
pony play, but are also used in other types of scenes and play.  A mouth
bit will not prevent speech, but will make it more difficult. 
(See
also: Bondage, Gags, Pet play, Pony Play)
  

Mummification. 
Mummification
refers to
bondage play consisting of
wrapping
parts or all of a person’s body with
fabric, bandages, plastic wrap, rubber, duct tape, tarps, or similar
materials.  Mummification is often combined with abduction play, bondage
play, humiliation play, breath play, torture, and many other forms of BDSM
play.  Mummification can create a risk of postural asphyxiation. 
When mummification includes the subject’s head and face, great care must be
taken to avoid suffocation.  A reliable pair of heavy-duty emergency
shears should always be kept nearby in the event that an emergency requires the
rapid release of the wrapped subject. 
(See also: Bondage, Breath play,
Humiliation, Postural asphyxiation)

Munch.  A
munch
typically refers to a
regular gathering of a D/s lifestyle group for socializing, meeting new people
and, often, a meal.  Munches are almost always conducted in public places,
in an entirely
vanilla
fashion.  This allows first-time visitors,
who may be curious or hesitant, to attend the event and enjoy themselves
without feeling any unnecessary pressure.  Munches also allow the group to
learn a little something about new or unfamiliar individuals before inviting
them to other more sensitive events. 
(See also: Protocol)

Needle Play.  Needle play typically consist of
placing acupuncture needles into various fleshy parts of the body to induce or
reduce fear, create aesthetically pleasing patterns or designs, stimulate the
nervous system, cause or reduce pain, and for other therapeutic reasons. 
Acupuncture needles may be inserted into the flesh
perpendicular
to the
skin or at a
secant
, where the needle is pushed through a fold of skin
in such a way that the tip emerges again, leaving only the center part of the
needle shaft below the skin.  This aesthetic mode of needle play has
recently become quite popular as a way to anchor
decorative corset lacing
to a person’s back or chest. 
(See also: Edge play, Injection play,
Medical play)

Novice Submissive.  A
novice submissive
is
typically a person who has very recently discovered and become excited about
the D/s or BDSM lifestyle, and has decided that she badly wants to be a part of
it as quickly as possible.  This is sometimes referred to as
sub
frenzy.
This often involves a frenzied quest to find a Master,
any
Master
, as quickly as possible
.
 

Odaxelagnia. 
Odaxelagnia
refers to a
fetish or
paraphilia
which involves becoming sexually aroused by
biting. 
(See also: Paraphilia.)

Orgasm Control/Denial.  The practice of denying
or delaying a submissive’s orgasm, which can be done for a multitude of
reasons, to include heightening arousal, demonstrating a Dominant’s power over
a submissive, or to punish. Orgasm denial can be long term, meaning the subject
may be denied permission to have an orgasm for days or weeks, or short term,
where the orgasm is deferred for just seconds or minutes. Orgasm denial may or
may not involve the submissive requesting from the Dominant permission to have
an orgasm. (See also: Masturbation restrictions)

OTK.  Acronym for
Over The Knee
. 
OTK refers to a specific style of spanking, generally (but not necessarily)
practiced by those who are into
Age Play
.  The submissive lies face
down across the lap of the Dominant, who administers a spanking. The spanking
may be characterized as punishment
or
reward, depending on the
relationship dynamic, and may or may not involve genital fondling or other
sexual activities. 
(See also: Age play, Humiliation, Impact play,
Spanking)

Painslut.  The
painslut
is typically an
extreme
masochist
, or someone who enjoys the sensations of pain to an extreme or
dangerous degree.  The painslut’s
primary
interest, attraction, and
fetish is
pain.
  The use of the suffix
slut
is not
incidental, as Painsluts are often known almost as much for their promiscuity
as they are for their extreme brand of masochism. 
(See also:
Masochism)

Parachute.  A small conical leather ring or
collar with four or more small chains attached, which makes it resemble a tiny
parachute.  Parachutes are affixed around the scrotum, and weights are
attached to the parachute’s chains in order to stretch the scrotum as part of
cock
and ball torture (CBT)
. 
Ball stretching
is a potentially
dangerous activity. 
(See also: Ball crusher, Ball stretching, CBT,
Weights)

Paraphilia. 
Paraphilia
is a rather
generic term which refers to being sexually aroused by objects, body parts,
situations, or individuals not typically associated with eroticism or sex by
members of the general population.  
Paraphilia
is often used
synonymously with
fetishism
though, technically, they differ in the
sense that a fetish is a
requirement
for sexual gratification. 
Paraphilia may be more appropriate as a technical synonym for
kink.

Pegging. 
Pegging
typically and
correctly refers to the sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's
anus with a strap-on dildo, though it is also sometimes used to refer any
penetrative sex involving a strap-on dildo, without regard to gender or
orifice. 
(See also: FemDom, Forced feminization, Strap-on)

Pet Play.  Pet play
(sometimes referred to
as kitten play, puppy play, pony play, ponyism, or animal role play)
consists
of two or more role players, one of whom takes on the characteristics of a
cherished pet while the other typically plays the role of an owner, caretaker,
trainer or rider.  Pet play can be sexual or asexual, and in the case of
sexual pet play, may include role play scenarios involving discipline,
humiliation and sado-masochism, as might be applied by an owner to his naughty
puppy, for example. 
(See also: Furry, Pony play, Ponygirl/Ponyboy,
Primal)

Pharoanic Lord. 
(See: Lesser God Dom.)

Piercing. 
(See: Needle play)

Pillory
.  (See: Stocks)

Pinwheel.  A
pinwheel
is a small device,
also known as a Wartenburg Neurowheel.  It is named after its inventor,
Robert Wartenberg, who invented it to test nerve sensitivity as it was rolled
across a patient’s skin.  It was commonly used in in the past in many
kinds of BDSM scenes, but less so today due to health concerns, since it breaks
the skin with its tiny sharp spikes, which are arranged like a child’s pinwheel
toy. 
(See also: Sensation play)

Play Collar.  A
play collar
refers to
any collar that is worn primarily for
utilitarian purposes
during a BDSM
play session.  Typically, play collars are constructed of leather or
metal, but they can literally be made of any material that is appropriate for
the type of play that is going to take place.  The most common type of
play collar used in
bondage
scenes are constructed of durable leather
and heavy-duty steel D-rings which facilitate the attachment of chains, straps,
rope, or other restraints to the collar.  Other types of play collars may
include posture collars, neck corsets, steel lockable collars, rubber or PVC
collars, medical (cervical) collars, ball gag collars, bit gag collars, or
hooded collars. 
(See also: Collar, Collar of consideration, Collar of
protection, Day collar)

Plural Marriage. 
(See also: Polyamory,
Group marriage)

Podophilia. 
(See: Foot Worship)

Polyamory.  The practice or ability to love
more than one person at a time; from the Latin
poly
(many) and
amor
(love). 
Just because polyamory is relatively common in the D/s lifestyle doesn’t mean
that people in the lifestyle are any better at it than anyone else.  It is
a profoundly difficult thing to be successfully polyamorous in
any
relationship,
D/s or otherwise.  For more on Polyamory, see Chapter 12: Polyamory,

Polyandry.  Refers to a polyamorous
relationship in which a woman has more than one male partner.  It is
typically used to describe a polygamous or plural
marriage
consisting of
a wife with two or more husbands. 
(See also: Group marriage,
Polyamory)

Polyfidelous.  The practice of being faithful
to more than one partner, usually in a polyamorous relationship, is called
polyfidelity
. 
For example, a polyamorous Dominant with two submissives may choose to be
polyfidelous
to his two partners, not engaging in intimate relations with anyone else. 
This may or may not include BDSM fetish-play, as many people in the BDSM
lifestyle do not consider such activity as “intimate.” Ultimately, the meaning
of polyfidelity should be mutually agreed upon by the individuals in the
relationship. 
(See also: Group marriage, Polyamory)

Polygyny.  Refers to a polyamorous relationship
in which a man has more than one female partner.  It is typically used to
describe a polygamous or plural
marriage
consisting of a husband with
two or more wives. 
(See also: Group marriage, Polyamory)

Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC). 
Polyvinyl
Chloride or PVC,
as it is commonly referred to, is a synthetic polymer
plastic that can be produced in rigid or flexible form.  In its pure form,
PVC resembles the hard white plastic generally associated with plastic piping
and conduits.  When PVC is combined with certain other substances, it
becomes pliable and a less expensive substitute for leather, natural rubber, or
other materials used in fetish-wear.  PVC can be produced to be glossy or
matte, flexible or rigid.  It is often confused for leather, rubber,
latex, or other types of plastic. 
(See also: Latex, Rubber)