Fighting for the Edge (18 page)

“What he did to me?”

“At the club in Tokyo.” Chris’s grip on his paddle tightened. “Sergei should’ve let me punch him.”

“Oh. Yeah, he deserved it.” Aubrey stared at the tiny ball in her hand.

“Enough about him,” Chris said. “Let’s get this match started.”

Aubrey pushed aside all unpleasant thoughts and focused on serving the little white ball. Chris won the first point with a smooth backhand and then the next two using wide-angle shots.

“I’m waiting to see that greatness you were talking about.” He twirled his paddle.

Aubrey shook out her shoulders. “I’m just getting warmed up.”

Chris grinned and gave the ball a hard serve, and Aubrey smacked it past him, following with a fist pump.

“Brace yourself. You’re about to be pummeled by the greatness.”

They both wore their game faces as they whacked the ball back and forth, trading points and shouts of joy and despair. Their celebrations became more animated as the match went on, and when Aubrey smashed a winner for the deciding point, she broke into a long victory dance, highlighted by some of her samba moves.

Chris folded his arms and watched her with an appreciative smile. “Losing is worth getting this show.”

She stopped in mid-shake. “You shouldn’t be reaping any reward.”

“Aw, come on. I need something to ease the pain of defeat.” He put his hands on her hips and gently rocked them. “Give me a few more shimmies.”

She clutched his hands and tried not to laugh. “Nope. No more.”

He pulled her closer, and her urge to laugh faded away, supplanted by pulse-pounding desire. She held onto Chris’s hands, not wanting them to leave her body.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

You can ask me anything.

“Since you’re more of an expert on these situations… on these non-romantic dates…” His eyes flickered down to her mouth. “Is kissing allowed?”

She licked her lips and decided to play with him. “It’s highly discouraged.”

Chris’s face froze, and she looped her arms behind his neck. “But I believe there’s an exception. For losers of ping-pong games.”

Chris relaxed into a grin. He flexed his fingers against her hips and kissed her, as softly as he’d done on the rooftop but longer and with more sureness. She felt so light, like she was floating, drifting on a heavenly cloud.

Chris slowly broke away and gazed at her. “Should we head home?”

She held his gaze and nodded without a word.

As they waited on the platform for the T, Chris stood very close to her, keeping her heart rate at an elevated level. Would kissing on the train be obnoxious? She’d never been a fan of PDA, but there she was contemplating making out on public transportation.

When they boarded the train, Chris sat across the aisle from her even though she had an empty seat beside her. Only three other people occupied the car. Had he suddenly decided to back off?

He angled sideways so he was facing her. “If you’re wondering why I’m not sitting next to you, it’s because I really want to kiss you again, but not here.”

Her floaty feeling returned, and Chris hadn’t even touched her. She was going to have to work incredibly hard to stay grounded around him. But that light, body-buzzing sensation felt
so
good…

The walk from the T to the apartment seemed more like a mile than a few blocks. All she could think about was what awaited her once she and Chris were alone. The same energy of anticipation was coming from him, too, as he stayed relatively quiet during the walk. Their pace grew quicker and quicker the closer they got to Beacon Street.

The key clicked as Chris turned it in the lock, and as soon as they were inside and he shut the door, Aubrey pinned his back against the frosted glass. She couldn’t wait any longer.

They dove into one kiss after another, stripping off their coats and stumbling their way onto the couch. Aubrey curled her fingers inside Chris’s collar, and his pulse throbbed against her thumb. She was starting to feel out of control again, teetering on the edge of total abandon.

“I think we…” she began, catching her breath as Chris’s mouth briefly left hers. “I think we should set some limits. We can’t let things go too far again.”

He tucked a long lock of hair behind her ear. “Do you wanna stop now?”

His face showed genuine care, truly deep concern. It was so new, so different from anything she’d ever experienced with a guy. She leaned in and softly kissed the spot on his cheek where his dimple would be, and he turned so their lips met. As their kisses became fuller and their bodies pressed harder, Chris’s hand slipped under the back of her blouse.

“Is this okay?” he breathed against her lips.

She nodded and returned her mouth to his.

He caressed her back and moved slowly, sliding his palm over her waist and up her side so the tips of his fingers brushed the edge of her bra. She shivered and squeezed his thigh.

“Should I stop?” he asked.

She was soaring on a cloud again, and his voice barely registered. She shook her head and drew him closer.

He kissed her neck while his touch inched higher, making her burn even hotter. Every part of her cried out for more, but she’d have to say no.

She didn’t need to as Chris didn’t take things any further. Whenever his eyes met hers between kisses, she saw the same tender look in them, the one that hit her right in the heart. There was so much honesty in those warm brown eyes. This couldn’t all just be meaningless fun to him.

What if he did feel as much for her as she did for him? Was she ready to open up, to put her heart out there for the taking? Nothing had ever scared her more.

Chapter Fifteen

Sergei sat in the chair next to mine and took my hand, intertwining our fingers. Dr. Bachemin had said he’d be with us in a few minutes. He’d already examined me, and I was anxious to know if everything looked fine. I’d taken some hard falls on the quad the past month, not knowing I had a baby inside me to protect.

The doctor shut the door to the office and sat behind his desk, and I squeezed Sergei’s hand.
Please let him say I’m okay and I can skate.

“Thank you for fitting Emily in so quickly,” Sergei said.

“Of course.” Dr. Bachemin smiled, showing the deep lines around his eyes. “I know how unique your situation is and how important it is that you make a plan.”

Dr. Bachemin had delivered all my cousins and me, so he was very familiar with my family and my skating accomplishments. I thoroughly trusted his advice. I just hoped it would be what I wanted to hear.

He looked at my chart on his desk and back up at me. “Both you and the baby appear healthy and strong. With the information you gave us, I’ve set your due date as September first.”

Due date
. I still couldn’t believe Sergei and I would be parents in a mere eight months. Aside from the tiredness and the nausea when I had an empty stomach, I didn’t feel pregnant. I’d always thought I would immediately feel some connection to the baby, but I didn’t. It seemed more like an abstract thing we’d been discussing.

“We were worried,” Sergei said. “Emily’s been skating her normal routine up until the last few days, and she’s fallen a number of times.”

“Everything looks good. But a fall on the abdomen could damage the placenta, so it’s obviously something you want to avoid from now on.”

“I don’t usually fall on my stomach,” I said. “It’s usually my backside.”

“I’d like you to stay on your feet all the time, but I know that’s not possible if you continue skating,” Dr. Bachemin said.

I gripped the arm of the chair as hard as I was squeezing Sergei’s hand. “Do you think it’s okay for me to keep skating?”

“That decision is really up to you. Your body is accustomed to the exercise, and you’re in great health. My biggest concerns are the physical trauma caused by falling, the mental stress I’m sure you experience before and during competitions, and overexertion, both physical and mental.”

He had concerns, but he wasn’t saying no way, no how. I felt lighter for the first time in days.

“I can ease up on my training.” I glanced at Sergei and then at the doctor. “And I’m very consistent on my jumps, so falling isn’t something I do much.”

“Except on the quad,” Sergei said.

“There’s one element I have issues with,” I explained.

“My suggestion would be that you not do that element any longer,” Dr. Bachemin said.

“She won’t be,” Sergei said with no hesitation.

I was so happy I could skate that I hadn’t thought about specific jumps. It sounded like Sergei had, though.

“I’ll make whatever adjustments necessary if it means I can compete,” I said.

Dr. Bachemin stared at me as he clicked his pen on and off. “You know how you train better than I do, so if you think you can cut back and still do the things you need to do, then I’ll trust you on that. But you have to be vigilant about not overworking yourself. I cannot stress that enough.”

I nodded vigorously. “I’ll be very careful.”

We talked with the doctor a few more minutes before he had to leave for his last appointment of the day. When Sergei and I reached his SUV, I leaned back against the headrest and let out a slow breath.

“I have to go tell Chris now.”

I hadn’t practiced as hard the past two days, and I’d used my bruised hip and my “stomach bug” as an excuse. If only those were my real issue.

“I’m coming with you.” Sergei started the car. “We all need to talk about how we’re going to adjust your training. And if Chris gets angry, I don’t want him upsetting you. He can take it out on me.”

“You don’t have to shield me from every tense situation the next eight months.”

“The doctor said to keep your stress down. You’re under enough with nationals next week. You don’t need anything adding to that.”

“Chris won’t go ballistic. That’s not who he is. He’ll probably be too much in shock to speak.”

Sergei turned on the heater, but he didn’t put the car in drive. Instead, he reached out and touched my leg. “Em, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“Telling Chris? He has to know.”

“No, are you sure you want to keep skating?”

He didn’t think it was a good idea. The doubt in his voice gave it away. But I couldn’t imagine quitting and always wondering if I’d made the right choice. I couldn’t let go of a lifetime of work that easily.

“I can’t give up when I’m still physically able to do this,” I said.

“But there are a lot of risks. Maybe we should think about this more before any decisions are made.”

“There’s nothing more to think about. You should understand better than anyone how I feel. If you’d had a chance to live out your dream, you would have.”

“I do know how you feel, how badly you want this. That’s why I think you might not realize the dangers of the situation.”

“If Dr. Bachemin thinks I can do it, then that’s all I need to know.” I covered Sergei’s hand with mine. “I promise I won’t push myself. I just… I have to try to make it through the Olympics. If I don’t, I’ll live with that regret forever.”

He lifted his palm to my cheek. “I just want to keep you and the baby safe.”

“We will be. I will be
so
careful, and there’s no steadier partner than Chris.”

Sergei’s eyes darted across my face. I could see the wheels turning in his mind.

“You’ll have to trust me, to listen if I tell you to pull back or to stop doing something,” he said. “We’ll see how nationals goes first, and then we’ll decide what to do from there.”

He pulled the car out of the parking lot, and I mentally practiced my speech to Chris. I had to sound confident and sure that we could compete with no problems. Sergei might only be thinking about nationals, but I still had the Olympics firmly in my sights.

We found a tight parking spot a block from Aubrey and Chris’s apartment, and Chris answered the door when Sergei rang the bell.

“Hey, are you escaping from your mom’s house for a while?” he asked.

I took off my coat as I walked past him into the living room. “No, we have something we need to discuss.”

“Is that Em?” Aubrey’s voice called from above.

I craned my neck up to see her leaning over the opening in her bedroom wall.

“Hey,” I said and gave her a subtle thumbs-up. She smiled.

“What’s up?” Chris asked as he plopped down onto the leather easy chair. “You two look serious.”

Sergei and I sat on the couch, and Aubrey’s head disappeared into her room. I thought of the speech I’d prepared and launched into it before I became too jumpy.

“I have a physical issue that my doctor said I can skate with, but I won’t be able to train at the same level,” I said.

“Is it your hip? It’s gotten worse?”

“It’s not my hip.” I paused and Sergei squeezed my knee. “I’m pregnant.”

Chris’s mouth fell open. “You’re
what
?”

“I’m only five weeks along, so I should be able to make it through the Olympics.” I leaned forward so I’d be closer, hoping my belief would spread to him. “Believe me, this was a huge shock to us, too. We obviously didn’t want this to happen now. We thought we’d done everything to prevent it–”

“I don’t need to know the details.” Chris held up his hand and then raked it through his hair. “You’re telling me you’re gonna do the jumps, the throws… the
quad
while you’re pregnant? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“The quad is out,” Sergei said.

“She could fall on the other throws, too. She could fall on a lot of things.”

“We’re so solid on everything other than the quad,” I said. “I know we can get through the next six weeks with minimal mistakes.”

Chris stared at the carpet for a long minute. “And the doctor gave you the okay to do this.”

“We just have to scale back our workload and–”

“You realize you’re putting your baby’s life in my hands.”

He still wouldn’t look at me, but I could hear his trepidation. And that wasn’t something I heard from Chris often, if ever.

“I’ve trusted you with
my
life for seven years, and you’ve never let me down,” I said. “This isn’t any different.”