Healing Faith (47 page)

I shook my head and looked back out on the road.

"There are a lot of things I can't do, Nathan," I
whispered.

"I do not think so, Kate. It is what I admire about
you. You are stronger than you think you are," he replied and held
my hand a little tighter.

I couldn't deny that I felt a little stronger since
meeting he and the Bergers.

Perhaps he saw more than I did.

Perhaps he made me so.

“Do you not feel healed from your proclamations to
your father?” he asked.

I thought about it and nodded. I did feel better in a
strange way.

“Faith has a way of healing many things,” he said and
looked off towards the ocean once more. “I was healed by your
presence when you came to live with the Bergers. You healed my
faith in finding a purpose. I have faith you will find yourself
healed of much when we leave here.”

“So do I,” I replied and looked ahead of what was to
come.

It really was a good day to start anew.

It was early afternoon arriving into Arcata and we
were starved.

Nathan stood beside his door and took in the bay, awe
written across his face.

"It is so immense," he breathed.

"Have you never been to the ocean, Nathan?" I asked,
surprised.

He shook his head and continued to stare out over the
water.

Suddenly there were so many more things to do with
him before we went home.

"Let's get something to eat, and we'll take it to go.
I have someplace you should see," I said and tugged him up the main
street. When we neared an electronics store, I felt Nathan slow as
he looked at all the gadgets flashing in the window, I couldn't
help but to laugh.

"You want to go in and look around?" I suggested.

"Are you trying to show me everything before we
leave, Kate?" he mused, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes I am," I quipped, squeezing his hand a little
harder. "To show you it's not all booze and loud music. And to see
some of what I enjoyed but am willing to walk away from."

He chuckled and took my hand in his, glancing back at
the store as we continued.

“There are so many distractions in your world. I find
it difficult to concentrate on what matters most,” he said with a
smile and leaned in to kiss me.

When we pulled apart, he started moving again,
allowing me to lead the way down the street. He looked again and
again at the window displays as we passed, but never seemed to need
to linger long. He had seen most of what we had whenever he went to
town for supplies, but now that he could spend time investigating
it without fear of judgment, he simply chose to walk away.

We walked into the local deli, ordering up sandwiches
and drinks before climbing back into the car and heading along the
coast.

Nathan kept his eyes on the water, enchanted by the
rolling waves as they crashed along the rocks. The coast on the
north side of town didn't offer as much beach, but I knew of a part
of south bay that would allow us a lovely view of the sunset on a
sliver of private beach few knew about. It would be perfect and
judging by Nathan's bright face, I knew he would enjoy it. How
often would he get to see the ocean in Iowa?

Pulling off the road, I parked the car and had Nathan
gather up the food and drinks. I grabbed the blanket behind the
seat and took his hand, walking us down a narrow path leading to
the beach.

"What are we doing here?" he asked as we wound our
way down to the roaring sound of the ocean.

I nodded towards the sun as it started its
descent.

"Have you ever watched the sun set over the water
before, Nathan?" I asked just as we made it to the soft sand.
Barely a hundred feet beyond us, the waves crashed along the
beach.

He looked out over the bay again and his mouth opened
in amazement. I felt his arm wrap around me, pulling me close so
that his lips brushed against mine. My hand moved up to cup his
cheek, the whiskers tickling my palm enough to make me giggle.

"What?" he murmured against my lips.

"Your whiskers tickle," I giggled and squirmed when
he rubbed his cheek against mine.

"I have not been able to shave. Does it bother you?"
he murmured and kissed my jaw, sending a shiver through me at the
dichotomy of his soft lips and rough beard.

"No," I whispered and tugged him closer, nearly
toppling us over into the sand.

My hand drifted, reaching up to graze the nape of his
neck and feeling the softness of his hair there. My own lips moved
against him, feeling the burn of his cheek as I made my way towards
his ear. He let out a soft breath and hugged me tighter to him, and
I could feel his hands slip across my back to feel me better. I
tossed the blanket to the ground, sinking into it with Nathan close
behind, sunsets and food forgotten. We rolled until I straddled
him, my hands sliding over his tight t-shirt while his lips grew
more adventurous over my mouth. I felt him tug against my hips,
drawing me closer over him where I felt him hardening beneath me.
He groaned and pulled his lips from mine, licking them as if he
wanted to devour me.

Looking down into his eyes, his need was clear. His
tight grip on my hips as he held me tight against him proved it as
he adjusted.

He swallowed and tried to calm his breathing.

"You are so much. I want so much with you, Kate," he
groaned and let his eyes close when my hands traced down his neck
and to his chest. I let my lips drift along his throat, enjoying
the feel of his heartbeat against my lips at his throat.

The sunset was fast approaching, and I didn't care.
We were alone, something that rarely happened, in his world or
mine. It was a moment that we could explore, and not be judged or
called out.

His breath came a little faster when he felt my hands
slip down his shirt, drawing it up a bit to expose his bare stomach
where I could run my fingers through the thin trail of hair there.
He moved beneath me again, sending shivers through me. He watched
me with heavy eyes as I leaned back a bit, feeling him adjust
again.

"Kate," he murmured and sat up to kiss along my
throat his hands moving up along my ribs. I pushed myself into his
hands, feeling the warmth of his palms cup my breasts tentatively.
I whimpered when I felt his fingertips graze across the hardness of
my nipple and then capture my breast again in a gentle squeeze.

The scraping of his lips against my throat, the
hardness of him against the heat of me, his strong hands as they
moved across my body made it sing with need. I felt the warmth
seeping into my limbs, and trembled against him when I rolled my
hips, wanting to find the right spot to feel him. When I found it,
we both sighed and moved against one another with a little more
urgency. I could feel a tightening in my stomach, and gasped when
he rolled us over, trapping me beneath him. He groaned and kissed
me deeply, the heat of him a delight in the waning light. When he
pulled away, he was panting.

"If we go much further, I will lose myself, Kate," he
said with his eyes clenched tightly.

I relaxed my hands around his neck and let him roll
to the side, separating us. I knew it was wrong. I knew he was
trying to be respectful, but touching one another felt too good to
deny. I wanted it as much as he did. How he could pull away and
resist, he had superhuman restraint. He wrapped one arm around me
and kissed me softly by the ear before sighing.

"I am sorry, Kate. I just want this to be right. I do
not want you to regret us," he murmured in my ear.

I groaned and tugged on his shirt in frustration.

"I don't regret you, Nathan. Believe me, I don't," I
sighed and tried to cool down my body as he held me and touched me
along my waist once more.

"Well, let us be on our way home and away from this
place before we do anything more," he mumbled and looked out at the
darkening sky.

"Don't tell me my dad scares you," I said,
incredulous.

He shook his head and laughed low.

"No. I am not afraid of your father. I just want us
to go home. I am tempted here with these surroundings. I want to do
right and respect you. Even if I am tempted to stray every time you
are near me," he mused, the twinkle back in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes and slid from his hold, standing and
offering him my hand.

“Come on,” I said. “I think we both need something to
cool us down and you can’t leave here without getting your feet
wet.”

He followed me curiously as I walked us closer to the
approaching waves. He mimicked me when I pulled off my shoes and
socks, and rolled up his jeans just as I did. Taking my hand again,
he followed me to the water, pausing for a moment as the water
moved dangerously close to his bare feet.

“The sand is freezing!” he exclaimed.

“So is the water,” I said and let go of his hand to
skip into the oncoming wave.

I let out a startled cry at how cold it was, but
waved him on. He looked at the water for an instant before stepping
into the next wave, his eyes going wide when he felt the water
slosh over his ankles.

And then he laughed.

A beautiful and carefree sound that bounced back and
forth against the rocks, again and again as he jumped and ran
through the cold water, kicking it up at times that I knew he’d be
wet above the ankles. I rushed for him, feeling him catch me as I
sped by, laughing with him as he spun me around and splashed again
and again. He pulled me close and kissed me deeply, all the joy and
excitement clear as his body held me as the waves moved in.

The cold water finally made us retreat back to the
blanket, drying off enough to relax and enjoy what we came for. I
tucked back into him, offering him his sandwich finally. We sat
there in the quiet watching the sunset as we ate, alone in our
thoughts. I was surprised when he finally spoke up in the
silence.

“Thank you for sharing this bit of your world with
me, Kate. This moment is something I will remember all my life,” he
murmured near my ear.

“This is my favorite part of this life,” I replied
quietly, watching the sky turn pink above us. “But I’d give it all
up so I could see you every day. I’m glad I could share this with
you.”

"Coming to find you was the best thing I have done in
my life. And the hardest, Kate. Because there is not a moment that
goes by that I do not want everything from you. I will refuse to
let them keep us apart when we are home," he said, his voice
determined.

"What about the Elders?" I asked worriedly. "And
Jonah and Fannie?"

He slid his hand up my arm to my face and traced the
side of my cheek lightly.

"Jonah and Fannie understand. The Elders? We will
show them you are meant for our world. You came for a purpose, and
they will see. I promise," he said and pulled me closer to his
side, looking out over the deepening sunset.

We were quiet for a long time, watching the sky turn
from a light blue, to turquoise, to a deepening lavender and red,
until the blue began to darken and the last bit of fire lay at the
top of the ocean. As the breeze turned cold, we slowly made our way
back up the trail to the car. I let the heater warm up the car some
before we had to leave. Nathan held me close and let out a long
sigh, looking out at the purple and red sky ahead of us.

"Is there anything else you will miss here, Kate?" he
whispered into my hair.

I thought about it for a moment, trying to imagine
what could possibly be more tempting that being in Nathan's arms. I
couldn't think of anything.

"Nothing?" he asked when I shook my head. "Not even
this car?"

I laughed and nodded.

"Okay. I'll miss the car maybe. But not much else," I
sighed and leaned up to kiss him.

"Coming to see your world has made me realize how
little we know of it, Kate. There is such beauty here that I would
not have dreamed possible. But having you here beside me, watching
this bit of God's work, I know this is right. I'll be everything
you need," he said.

I felt his hands tip my head up so that I could look
into his eyes.

Everything I felt for him I saw there.

He kissed me slowly, allowing the last of the sun to
fall away. When it grew too dark to see one another, I regretfully
pulled away from him and started us back towards the house.

The drive home was distracting.

Nathan continued to trace his fingers along my arm
that he held. He had grown so comfortable with me in the short time
since arriving; I didn’t want that to diminish when we returned.
More so I didn’t want to miss it while we traveled back home. And I
kept thinking about all the things we could do if we drove back to
Iowa instead of taking the bus.

"Nathan?"

He hummed and slowed his gentle stroking, looking
over at me sleepily.

"What would you say to driving back to Iowa? Spending
a few days extra instead of taking the bus," I suggested.

He frowned and sat a little straighter, thinking it
over.

"How long do you think it will take to drive? It
would be nice to get home as soon as we can. I left Jonah on his
own," he replied.

"It’s three days by bus, with all the stops. But with
the car, and spending the night somewhere, maybe four days," I
thought, not really sure.

I knew he'd want to get home. I was being selfish. I
wanted just a little more time alone with him before strict
courtship rules were enforced again. He was thoughtful for some
time, until his fingers resumed their path along my arm and he
smiled.

"By bus we would not be alone. And it was not very
comfortable. Someone would need to pick us up at the bus station.
Perhaps driving would be better. I'd like to see more with you,
Kate," he said and grinned again.

I was pretty sure he meant more than the countryside.
I turned back to the road, excited for the trip back, because I
wanted much more as well.