Healing Faith (43 page)

He stroked my hair and held me up as I cried softly,
my breath evening out as I felt his energy soothe me. He offered me
the support I needed, holding me up when he must have been utterly
exhausted. I could hear the fatigue in his voice when he spoke.

"I was so afraid I would not find you. The journey
here was a trial in patience. And not knowing if he had taken you
here. I was afraid I would be on the wrong trail," he murmured and
touched his nose to my hair, inhaling softly.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked, looking
up into his worried gaze.

"Emma gave me your bag. Your identification was in
it. The sheriff station printed out a route for me to take to get
here. And I had help," he confided, smiling.

"Who helped you?" I asked, curious.

Nathan arriving was a surprise enough, but having
travelled in the English world, and having on English clothes told
me he had to have had help.

"Benjamin helped me," he replied. And in his eyes I
could see a fondness in his old friend. I remembered Benjamin from
the Gathering. The Bishop’s son.

"Benjamin?"

He nodded and looked down at our hands
intertwined.

"I accused him of telling your Englisher where you
were. He had not known what had happened. He told me about how Jeff
and Joanna had talked at length about my new girl and me. Benjamin
knew that meant you. The English had been with Jeff one night when
Benjamin was there. He was riddled with guilt, so he offered to
drive me to the bus station and help me get to you. He was the one
who told me that your English intended to take you home. I owe
Benjamin much," he said quietly.

I closed my eyes and inwardly prayed that Benjamin
would be all right. That Jeff would not retaliate.

"Even still. Fannie and Emma described how he took
you," he choked out, closing his eyes once more.

"Are they all right? Why didn't Jonah come?" I
asked.

Nathan shook his head and looked up at me with
sorrowful eyes.

"Emma wanted to come with me, she was frantic. Fannie
and Abigail were inconsolable. Fannie could not speak when we first
arrived. She was like I had never seen her. And Abigail would not
stop crying. I think Jonah knew he would need to stay for them. He
wanted to come, he is upset for not coming," he replied.

I started to cry again, the pain I had caused my new
family overwhelming me.

"It will be all right, Kate. We will call them in the
morning and let them know you are safe," he reassured me. I looked
up in confusion.

"How will we call them? You don't have phones."

He shook his head and chuckled.

"We do have phones, Kate. They are just out in the
field where many can use. Jonah has had Emma wait by the one near
our home since I left," he explained.

"I'm sorry I caused so much trouble," I said quietly,
the magnitude of how much I had changed their lives finally
crashing down on me.

"I prayed every moment that he would not hurt you.
That he would not harm you in such a way as you would lose
yourself," he stammered, clenching his eyes shut at the thought I
know filtered in his head.

I squeezed his hand.

"He…He…tried," I stammered and stopped, afraid to go
into it.

I felt him tense, his hand tightening around mine
until he pulled it away, perhaps afraid he’d hurt me. I could see
the question in his tortured expression.

"He stopped…He tried... right after…he wanted to
prove I was his. I fought but,” I stammered, ashamed.

I couldn't say much more, at that moment we heard a
tremendous crash at the entryway. I jumped at the sound, clutching
at Nathan's hand when I saw Dad's glare at the doorway.

"You didn't tell me that part," he grated, taking a
step into kitchen. In his hand were the remains of a glass he had
been drinking from. "Deputy Stevens told me the rape kit was clean.
Sean assured me… He tried to rape you?”

I stood there dumbstruck.

Sean had assured him? I couldn’t form the words,
because discovering that my father might know where Sean was would
be the worst betrayal of all.

"Did he touch you like that?" he yelled, causing me
to shrink towards Nathan. I could only nod; trembling at the rage I
could see in his face. He threw the broken glass into the sink and
stormed off down the hall. When he came back, he had on his jacket
and ball cap, keys in his hand.

"You are not to leave, you understand me? I will deal
with this," he grated and slammed the door behind him as he
left.

We heard the car pull out, screeching tires as it
sped down the road. I sat there breathing hard, confused by my
father’s sudden shift in moods. For two days, he had made me think
it was my fault. Now he was out the door and I assumed off to hunt
down Sean.

Had he known where he was all along?

“What the hell is going on?” I heard Stacy exclaim
from the hall.

Stacy appeared in the doorway, looking back where our
father had disappeared. When she noticed Nathan standing
protectively beside me, she turned red and immediately stepped in
to introduce herself.

“Sorry,” she started, clearing her throat as she
extended her hand to him. “I’m Katie’s sister, Stacy.”

Nathan took her hand politely and offered her a timid
smile.

“I am pleased to meet you, Stacy,” he replied and
held me a little closer. “I have heard many nice things about
you.”

Stacy quirked her eyebrow at me and grinned, the old
flirt emerging.

“Oh really?” she teased. “Well all of it was true,
I’m sure.”

I pulled away from Nathan to grab the dustpan, intent
on cleaning up the broken glass in the hall before one of us
stepped on it. Nathan ghosted behind me, bending over to pick up
the bigger pieces while I swept up the small shards.

"Your father is a very troubled man."

I looked at Nathan, his face serious as he looked
towards where my father had left, and I burst out laughing. His
eyes widened in alarm and I couldn't help it, I laughed harder. It
certainly wasn't funny, and the tears weren't happy tears. Maybe it
was because someone finally saw it. Everyone thought my father was
a star citizen and pillar of the community. Nathan's simple words
drove it home. Finally someone understood. Or I was just finally
losing it.

Nathan pulled me to him and held me tight as I fought
to bring the laughter under control. I clutched at him hard,
gripping my dad's old shirt in my hands and tugging him closer,
needing his warmth around me. His heat calmed me, and soon I was
hiccupping in his shoulder, quiet at least for the moment. His hand
smoothed my hair, his lips brushed across my temple as he whispered
softly.

"You will be all right, Kate. I will take care of
you. We will go home. We will leave this behind. This is not your
world."

"I’m so glad you’re here, that you came for me," I
whispered, weeping.

"I will come for you always, Kate," he murmured and
pulled me away so that he could look down into my eyes. "You are my
everything. I will not lose you again. We will go home.”

His fingers traced over my cheek, his eyes more
determined than I had ever seen.

"I will protect you. I will not allow anyone to
separate us again."

I leaned in and touched my lips to his, barely there
as I tried to temper the need to simply kiss him hard and hold him
forever. Stacy was in the kitchen watching after all. She cleared
her throat to remind us.

“You must be hungry,” I whispered, happy for the
timid smile on his lips. As long as I had known Nathan, I had
wanted to feed him.

“You do not need to tend to me,” he murmured, the
amusement glittering in his eyes.

Finally, a moment when I saw the man I had discovered
beyond the heartache.

“Yes, I do,” I replied and brought him over to the
table, settling him in a chair while I turned to rummage through
the cupboards for something fast to make. He watched as I moved
around, but remained quiet as I prepared a quick bowl of soup and
simple sandwich. Stacy sat at the table across from him, quiet as
she regarded us together. She finally spoke when I turned from the
stove.

“So, Nathan,” she started, glancing at me cautiously
before continuing. “Kate tells me she wants to go back. But it
means that she would need to sever ties with us.”

I grit my teeth at her directness and took a step
towards them, halting when I noticed Nathan’s contemplative
face.

“The issue is not you, Stacy,” he said quietly. “In
order for Kate to live amongst the Amish, she must give up her
English ways. Our Elders are concerned with the violence and
neglect from her father and the Englisher, Sean. I do not think it
applies necessarily to you.”

“Our father won’t agree to it,” she said, looking at
me to confirm her statement.

“It’s not his decision, Stacy,” I said, feeling
defensive.

“He won’t just let you leave to live in some
community that doesn’t allow us to be a part of your life,” she
said, and turned to Nathan again. “Surely you understand if someone
told you that you couldn’t see your family ever again?”

He looked down at his clasped hands and let out a
sigh. I stepped forward to him and put my hand on his shoulder in
the hopes to comfort him.

“His family died last year, Stacy,” I said
softly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” she stammered and
blushed. “She’s all I have. I don’t want to lose her.”

He nodded and offered her a sad smile.

“I would speak to the Elders on your behalf. I would
agree you should not lose your only sister.”

“Is that how it works? Your Elders tell you what to
do?” Stacy asked.

“They make our laws,” he said simply, straightening a
little at her inquiries.

“The Elders will decide whether I can join their
community, Stacy. It’s their way,” I replied.

“So there’s a chance you won’t be allowed to stay
with him,” she said and I frowned at the thought. I had thought of
that many times, but had chosen to work at proving myself.

“I have faith she will succeed,” Nathan replied, the
determination clear on his face.

“And if she isn’t?” Stacy pressed.

“Then we will see,” he said and squeezed my hand. “I
have faith.”

She nodded and made to stand.

“Well, I appreciate you understanding that I want to
keep in touch with my sister,” she said and looked at me
meaningfully before excusing herself so we could be alone.

I let out an irritated grunt and moved back to the
stove to pour his soup into a bowl.

“She’s not one to conform to old fashioned views,” I
explained.

“Not many understand our ways,” he replied. “She is
concerned for your well being. I understand her fears.”

“I’m old enough to make my own choices,” I
grated.

“It is always your choice. I would never force you to
do something you did not wish,” he replied, looking up at me with
those deep eyes I had missed.

“I know. It’s why I feel safe with you.”

He murmured his thanks when I set his meal before
him, cocking his head to the side when he saw I hadn’t made
anything for myself. I sat down beside him and pushed the plate
towards him.

“I’m not hungry,” I said, easing the concerned pout
on his lips. He hesitated before nodding and reciting meal prayers
quietly before digging in to the meal eagerly, his eyes closing for
a moment at the first bite.

I watched him as he ate, the events of the last few
days taking a back seat at the sight of the man before me. This
felt right, being with him, smiling at the contented expression on
his face while he ate what I offered him. He complimented me again
and again with each bite. Gone was the proud man I had first met
who refused help. Now we got on so easily. I could see myself with
him by his side so much more clearly with each moment he was there
with me. He had taken a risk to come for me, against all odds. He
had made my well being his priority, something I had encountered
little of with anyone else.

The choice was clear to me.

I would go where he went.

Nathan let out a relieved sigh and wiped at his lips
when he had eaten everything I had given him, his tired eyes
drooping from the effect of a full belly, and perhaps a long
journey with no sleep.

"We should get you to bed," I whispered, laughing
when I saw his eyes widen and his ears burn.

I laughed a little harder and pulled him up out of
the chair.

"I meant that you’ve had a long trip and you looked
tired. What were you thinking?" I teased, enjoying the gentle tug
of his lip as he shook his head.

I held his hand and walked him out towards the living
room, eyeing the couch.

"Dad says you have to sleep on the couch," I stated,
thinking.

"Of course. I would certainly do as your father
wishes," he replied quickly.

He followed me to the linen closet in the hall where
we kept the spare blankets and pillows. We set up his bed in
silence, my thoughts wandering to what it would be like to have him
with me every night. I shook my head at the thought.

One thing at a time. We needed to get out of here
first, and then deal with the rest.

I leaned over and kissed him softly as he settled in,
his eyes already growing heavy as he lay down in the comfort of his
makeshift bed. I hated to leave him. Having him here with me once
more, I never wanted to be away again, but there were rules, in his
world and in mine. I made to stand, ready to leave when his hand
came out and held mine, pulling me back towards him. His eyes
caught mine, deep and thoughtful as he looked on me.

"Will you stay here for a little while? I would like
to feel you close. To know this is real. To know you are here. That
this is not a dream and I am still on that bus," he murmured.