Healing Faith (46 page)

"A call came in about three hours later, asking for
an ambulance. When I got there, they were loading Sean into the
back. He was unconscious and pretty beaten up. Broken nose, looks
like they'll have to wire his jaw. Some stitches. And your dad
simply said he took a fall. Sean’s dad looked like he may have
taken a little of the same fall as well. And there's more, Kate,"
she explained, tapping on the file folder lightly.

I nodded for her to continue. For her to get it over
with so I could be done with it.

"The Feds are involved now. Because this originated
in Iowa, I've contacted the FBI. Between them and the district
attorneys, they'll be figuring out where to try Sean. Most likely,
it will be in Iowa, because of the conflict of interest here with
his father being a law enforcement officer. Your dad unfortunately
may be implicated," she said, and paused to gauge my reaction.

"What do you mean implicated?" Nathan asked for me
again.

He seemed to know I was having trouble speaking.

It was too much.

She looked from me to him, perhaps trying to evaluate
how much she should say with him there. But then she nodded and
opened the folder, revealing so many things I had no desire to see.
I felt Nathan tense next to me when he saw a flash of the pictures
of me when I had arrived, before she closed the folder again, a
piece of paper in her hand.

“There are receipts from your father’s company that
pay for Sean’s travel while he was searching for you. They can add
him as an accessory to your kidnapping because of it. There’s also
proof that your father willingly assisted Deputy Miller in hiding
his son while the warrant was out for him.”

I struggled to come to terms with the fact that my
father had been involved all along. He’d say he was doing it
because he was worried, but I knew he was just looking for a way to
keep it quiet. If anything good had come of this, it was that I
could finally step away from all of the nonsense, and never look
back.

This was not my life anymore; I had a family in Iowa
that cared for me.

“It doesn't matter. As soon as you say I can, I'll be
returning back to Iowa," I said, trying to appear strong.

She glanced at Nathan again, this time a little more
carefully. She seemed to come to a decision when she smiled and
looked back at me.

"I think that's a good idea, Kate. You seem happier
with that decision," she murmured.

"So I guess I just need to wait for the test results?
Will Sean stay in jail until they figure out where to have the
trial?" I asked, wanting to wrap this up and get moving on my new
life.

"You don’t need to stay for the results if you don’t
want to. We can send you those results back, but you and I both
know what the results will be. As far as him getting out? There is
always the chance of bail, but I doubt his father can afford it,
especially now that he’s on suspension for hiding his son. No, Sean
will be in custody until they extradite him to Iowa," she
replied.

The idea that he could possibly make bail didn't sit
well.

"He won't make bail, Kate. I think it will be set
pretty high, and maybe not at all given the fact that he hid while
we looked for him. You're safe now," she reiterated.

I felt Nathan squeeze my hand in encouragement.

"Now," Deputy Stevens said and pulled out another
piece of paper. "If you are going back to Iowa, we'll need some way
to contact you. The FBI will want to interview you, as will the
local district attorney. I believe the sheriff there already took
statements from your family there."

"You can take down my address," Nathan said, blushing
slightly when I looked his way. He returned the smile and bent over
the paper to fill out the address for me.

"I should be getting the test results soon. With the
FBI involved and Sean in custody, that has helped to speed things
up. I can send you any information you want at this address,” she
said.

We stood and shook hands with her, one step of my
journey complete.

"Thank you, for believing me. And for doing so much.
I'll never forget this," I said softly while she held my hand.

"It is my job, Kate. You take care. We'll see an end
to all of this. I hope you have a good life where you are going. I
have a feeling you will," she said and grinned at Nathan once more,
who took her hand and shook it lightly.

"I will take care of her, Deputy Stevens. I promise,"
he murmured and pulled me out of the station.

Hopefully for the last time.

I stepped out of the bank, irritated with the news I
had been told.

“What is wrong?” Nathan asked as I slid back into the
driver’s seat.

“Dad took most of my money out of my savings,” I
grated, pulling out into traffic once more towards home. I had some
things to say to him.

Nathan kept quiet, knowing that I was angry by the
way I gripped the wheel. I shook my head again and let out a bitter
laugh.

“Nice to know he could finance Sean’s little trip but
wouldn’t allow me the chance to go to school with the money I had
earned,” I spat.

Nathan soothed me with his hand on my arm, willing me
to calm down.

“It is in the past, Kate. We do not need the money.
We will get by,” he said simply.

“I had almost four thousand dollars in the bank,
Nathan,” I said and watched his eyes widen. “How much grain and hay
is that?”

“It is done, Kate. It cannot be undone,” he replied
softly. “We will manage fine.”

I sighed and concentrated on the road, trying to do
as Nathan said. But every second closer to the house, the more
frustrated I became. My hard earned money had dragged me back here,
and now we had barely enough to make it back to Iowa. I wasn’t sure
Nathan understood how much it would cost to drive back.

Perhaps I would need to sell the car now and we would
take the bus back.

All my hopes of being able to show a little of my
world to Nathan had evaporated with my empty bank account. I
gritted my teeth when we pulled up to the house, seeing my father’s
car still there. I knew I would need to confront him, to say my
goodbyes. But now there was the fact that he had stolen from me to
deal with.

“It will be fine,” Nathan assured me at the door.
“What is done is done. You can only forgive him and move on.”

Forgiveness was not on my list, even though I knew it
was Nathan’s way. And would soon be my way as well. If I hoped for
any closure from this life, I knew I would have to forgive and
forget. We walked into the kitchen to set down the groceries we had
bought while we were out, yet another expense I was suddenly
worried over. It was another minute when we heard Dad moving around
upstairs. Nathan slipped away and watched me as I finally put away
the groceries, a frown on his face. When I put the last of the
items in the refrigerator, he spoke up.

"How long would you like to stay before we leave?" he
asked quietly.

I laughed quietly and shook my head.

"If I could we'd be there already," I retorted.

"I know that, but how long would you like to say your
goodbyes to you father?" he asked, and his eyes held mine
intently.

I thought about it, about the finality of saying
goodbye, and knew, it wouldn't take much.

As much as I needed to forgive my father, it wouldn't
be drawn out.

"Not long, Nathan," I whispered and turned toward the
hallway when we heard my father coming down the stairs.

He came in, glancing at us for a moment before
reaching into the refrigerator to grab a drink. He didn't say
anything for a moment, taking a long sip.

"Stacy left, so when are you leaving?" he asked.

I blinked at his abruptness, although I shouldn't
have been surprised. I could tell in his eyes he knew I was leaving
for good.

"As soon as I’m packed,” I replied, watching as he
nodded and waved me with him towards his office.

"I have a few things to say, alone," he emphasized,
glaring back at Nathan as he retreated.

I looked at Nathan, who simply offered me an
encouraging nod.

"I will be right here if you need me," he whispered
and sat at the table, while I went off to speak with my father.

He was sitting in his chair, looking at the blank
computer screen while he waited for me to sit. When I was situated,
he took another long drink and pulled his eyes from the screen to
look at me. His eyes were hard but vacant.

"So you intend to really go away? And let the charges
against Sean stand? This boy is that special?" he asked, and I
could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"He is. I'm happy with him. And Sean brought on the
charges himself," I replied, trying to sound calm.

My father snorted and shook his head.

"You leave and that will be it. I won't be around to
help you out," he replied curtly.

I wanted to say so many things in rebuttal.

"I'll be fine where I am going," I said instead. It
was better that way.

"Well, I just want you to be sure. If things don't
work out there, you're on your own. I have enough to deal with here
when you leave," he murmured and I could tell he meant he knew he
was in trouble.

I looked away and shook my head.

"What you did, Dad. With Sean. That was your doing,
not mine. Whatever problems that come up because of that are your
issues and not mine," I said, my voice struggling to sound
sure.

He was quiet for a while, and at first I thought
perhaps that was all he had to say to me, until he spoke again,
this time much more quietly.

"I should have been the one to bring you home. Then
maybe he wouldn't have gone too far. Maybe then you and he would
still be together," he whispered.

I stared at him hard, trying to understand how he
rationalized anything.

"I ran away because I was afraid of him, Dad. That
night before I left, he tried to rape me. His friends helped hold
me down. Did he tell you that? And then he brings me home a mess,
and that was okay? I don't get it. You never once questioned my
injuries. Instead, you couldn’t see he was the dangerous one, that
he hurt me over and over. And then you send him to find me?
Everything about that is wrong," I spat and moved to get up.

He leaned out and took my arm carefully, indecision
on his face when he noticed me flinch.

"He should have known better. I made it clear he was
just there to get you to come home," he stated. “I didn’t know
about the rest.”

I yanked my arm away and stared down at him in
disbelief.

"And that makes it all right? You paid for his trip,
with my savings, and you expect me to be all right with all of
this?" I asked heatedly, feeling the tears rising up in my
eyes.

He slumped back in the chair and shook his head, not
saying a word.

And with that, I knew. Dad would never be the father
I needed.

We were done.

I let out a defeated sigh and sat back down, watching
him as he stared ahead blankly. He would end up a lonely man,
without anyone to care for him. And it would be his fault. I sat a
little straighter and knuckled down my courage. I was ready to get
this over with.

To close this door, for good.

"Dad, I forgive you."

He looked at me in surprise but I raised my hand
before he could speak.

"I need to finish. I forgive you for being blind to
how much your daughter needed a father when her boyfriend decided
to possess her. I forgive you for not being here when I needed
someone to protect me all those times he got angry with me. I
forgive you for thinking he was more important than your own flesh
and blood when it mattered. And I forgive you for not believing in
me when it mattered most. I forgive you for taking what little I
have of myself to give to those that would hurt me. I forgive you
for abandoning your daughters after their mother died, and I
forgive you for never thinking that family was more important than
your career. I understand now, because I have that chance with
Nathan. I forgive you," I said, my words seeming to come out in
force as I thought them.

He looked at me wide eyed for a moment before I stood
and made to walk out.

"And I hope you understand, that I am going someplace
that I will be happy. I will be loved. I will have a family that
cares about me. And for that I have to thank you. Because had you
stepped up and been the father I needed, I would have never left,
and I would have never found love. Some would call it fate, I think
I’d like to think someone guided me there," I murmured and walked
out, leaving him to sit alone to dwell on his own failures.

Nathan was by the hall door to the kitchen, his hands
in his pockets and a worried look on his face as I walked swiftly
past him to grab my car keys.

"Are you all right?" he asked, following me as I
pushed past the front door to outside.

"I think we should see a little of town. Get out one
last night before we leave," I suggested and started the engine as
soon as he closed his door.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded and pulled out onto the road, towards
Arcata.

"I said what I needed to. I can move on. It’s too
late to leave today so we’ll enjoy what we can before we head back
to Iowa," I replied and let out a long breath when McKinleyville
faded away behind us.

Nathan let me have my silence for a while, and took
in the coast as it passed on the side of the road. His soft chuckle
brought me out of my numb haze.

"I did not think you would forgive him in quite that
way," he said, looking over at me finally.

"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

The last thing I wanted was to have to do it again,
in some acceptable fashion.

"I mean that you were direct and strong. There is
nothing you cannot do, Kate."