Healing Faith (44 page)

As if he knew what I needed, I lay down and tucked in
next to him, almost on top of him to keep from falling off the
edge. He adjusted some to give me room, but his hand slid down to
pull my leg over him, holding me there firmly as he let out a soft
breath and closed his eyes.

"In my world, parents would allow young couples to
sleep together sometimes. It is not common and frowned upon in some
communities. It is expected that the courting couple behave,
knowing that the girl’s parents are in the next room. But maybe,"
he whispered and yawned, holding me a little closer.

I smiled at this little bit of new Amish culture I
was learning.

"I don't think Emma or Abigail would like it much," I
giggled, and hugged him closer.

He laughed softly and brushed his lips against the
top of my head, breathing in deeply.

"I missed your touch. I missed your scent. I missed
all of you. I will not let you go again," he sighed and let out a
long breath.

"Me too," I murmured and listened as his breathing
slowed.

He was out almost immediately, exhaustion finally
settling in. I lay there watching him sleep, his mouth curved in a
contented smile, his eyes moving as he dreamt. I wondered what he
dreamt about, if his dreams had been as dark as mine these last few
days. His body twitched beneath me and I thought to slip away, but
I didn't.

I was selfish.

Lying there with Nathan, with his warm body against
me provided me the comfort I had needed these last few days. I knew
things had changed between us. I could feel it. Things were more
intense, like he and I both had come to realize that this last week
had been the worst of our lives being apart. I saw it in how he
looked at me, even with the pain. He needed me as much as I needed
him.

I needed him close.

I could not spend another moment away. I lay there
and watched him sleep, unable to bring myself to sleep as I waited
for Dad to return. I fought my heavy eyelids, until fatigue won
over. I dreamed of fertile fields, and a large house that was
bright and sunny. And the man in my arms as he smiled and kissed
me, showering me with all his love.

One day soon.

I shook myself awake at first light and slipped
carefully from Nathan's embrace, his body turning away as he
settled in without me in his slumber. I peeked outside to see if my
father had returned and noticed his car was there. A moment of
dread crept through me at the thought of my father finding me with
Nathan in the living room, but he had not disturbed us. I wondered
if he had simply gone straight to bed.

Hearing a noise in the kitchen, I found him, seated
at the dining table, his jacket still on and staring at the beer in
his hand.

He looked defeated.

I felt Nathan behind me, silent but comforting as he
waited behind me, his arm wrapped loosely around my waist. Dad
looked up and saw us in the dawn's light in the doorway. He averted
his eyes and stood, making his way to his office. We followed him
where he slumped into his chair and closed his eyes.

"Dad?" I asked needing to know what happened.

"It's done," he replied, so quiet it was almost
lost.

I took a halting breath. What did that mean?

"What’s done? What happened? Is he…dead?" I asked,
having mixed feelings about the idea of him being dead.

Dad opened his eyes in shock, shaking his head at
me.

"Of course not, Kate! But I am sure he wishes he
were. He lied to me and betrayed my trust," he replied roughly and
took a deep drink.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my own sense of
betrayal that he had known where Sean was all along creep through
me. “You knew where he was, didn’t you?”

My father turned and looked me in the eye hard.

"I got him for you. I took care of it. And now he's
in custody in the emergency room. It's over, Kate. You're safe. He
won't hurt you again," he said, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

"How did you find him?" I asked. "How did you take
care of him, Dad?"

He turned and looked up at his pictures on his wall;
at all of the sailing trips and political campaigns he had done
with Sean and his father. It had been my father’s wall of fame, and
sadly there were fewer pictures of his family there.

"Can't you just be happy that he is no longer a
threat? It doesn't matter how I found him or what I did to him.
He's in custody, Kate. And if those tests come back positive, then
he’ll be put away for a long time and you can do whatever you
want,” he said and waved towards Nathan who stood just behind
me.

I felt Nathan straighten up beside me.

“I need a moment alone with him,” my father said.

“Dad,” I started, afraid in his present mood it would
lead to Nathan getting hurt.

“You want to go away with him?” he asked. I nodded.
“Then grant me a few minutes alone to talk to him. Go make some
breakfast or coffee or something.”

I felt Nathan’s hand press against my shoulder.

“It will be all right, Kate,” he whispered. “We have
not had a chance to meet and talk. It is necessary.”

I let Nathan move past me and watched as my father
stood half way to extend his hand to Nathan. I tensed on reflex,
unsure what my father’s intentions really were. Nathan remained
straight-backed and polite as ever.

“Frank Hill. We really didn't get a proper
introduction," my father started, seemingly civil.

Nathan stood a little taller and took his hand
firmly, shaking it man to man.

"I apologize, Mr. Hill. I had travelled for a few
days with little sleep. I do not know what you must think of me,
given my intrusion. I am Nathan Fisher," he said formally.

I could see Dad sizing him up as he sat back down,
eyeing him carefully.

"There’s a lot I don’t understand," he said and
leaned back in his chair. “But I’m sure you’ll answer some
questions I have.”

“Of course, sir.”

My dad motioned me out the door then and I
reluctantly made my way to the kitchen to make something for
breakfast. I kept an ear out for yelling, or some kind of crashing.
When I had breakfast mostly done, I snuck down the hall again to
see how things were going. But more, I watched as Nathan took in
the small room and answered Dad's questions without pause. I
watched Nathan because I still could not believe he was here before
me.

I had been in a state of shock until this moment,
seeing him respond to my dad's questions. Sitting straight,
slightly uncomfortable in my father’s office with all of its
distractions. His profile showed off his angular jaw, darkened with
several days growth from not shaving. His eyes seemed a little
sunken in, as if he had slept little. I could understand, having
not slept much myself since my forced departure. But his strong
back was just as I remembered it from all those days of watching it
retreat from me.

"How do you do everything without modern machinery?
And electricity?" Dad was asking.

"We manage. As was done before electricity tied you
to the world around you, we live simply. We live by our own means
and are happy with what we yield. We do not try to show off our
accomplishments. We are there to do as God bids," Nathan replied
simply, looking my father in the eye with the confidence of a man
beyond his twenty years.

"So you are religious then. How Kate fell in with you
I can't figure out. We're not a religious sort," Dad rebuffed,
shaking his head.

"Perhaps she only needed the chance to see for
herself," Nathan replied, and I could tell he was a little more
guarded when he spoke. He was trying to be respectful, but still
hold onto his convictions. So far he was standing up well to my
father.

I smiled for what felt the first time in days, seeing
him there in Dad's old t-shirt, one that was maybe a little tight
across the chest and biceps, showing off what honest hard labor did
for him.

"So you farm. Is there money in it? Or do you have to
take handouts from the government?" my father asked.

"We make our way without outside interference,"
Nathan replied smoothly.

I was proud of him for speaking so well in front of
my dad.

"And your family? What do they think about you
rushing off to find some girl?"

"My family is gone, sir. I have no one but myself to
tend to," Nathan replied.

And then I was so sad for him, knowing what a brave
and frightening thing it was to come find me. He held himself
surely, and it weighed on me that he had taken this journey alone,
without Jonah or an elder. I frowned and thought of the Bergers.
They had to be worried out of their minds.

"You manage a farm on your own?"

"Yes, sir."

"How? You’re just a kid," my father said, looking a
little shocked. My dad had always complained about how kids today
didn’t know the worth of good honest work. I had been offended by
his complaints, until I met Nathan and realized it was true. Nathan
was rare indeed.

"I manage, sir. It would be easier with more
hands."

I smiled again at that. Because I wanted to be one
more set of hands for him.

"And it's your farm? You own it?"

"It was my family's farm. I inherited it when they
died, yes."

Not once had my dad offered his condolences to
Nathan. Grilling him on his property. Material things. Never about
what good came out of Nathan's hard work. It made me so mad; he was
acting like a father from the stone ages.

"So what are your intentions with Kate then?" I heard
from the room, my eyes widening at Dad's brazen question.

Nathan didn't even flinch.

"I am here to bring her home."

"This is her home," Dad replied, his eyes narrowing
at Nathan's calm demeanor.

Nathan nodded and looked off towards the wall of
pictures for a moment before speaking.

"I am here for whatever Kate needs. She was happy
there. She was safe. I only want that for her again," he replied
softly, avoiding my father's glare.

"She's safe here. Regardless of what you might think;
whatever you think might have happened. She doesn't have to worry
about anything while she is at home," Dad grated.

Nathan turned his eyes back to Dad, and I felt my
body tense when I saw the steely determination in his eyes.

"Kate deserves to feel safe no matter where she goes.
She has the right to choose where she goes, be it here or there.
But it is apparent that she is not safe in her current situation,"
he said, his voice much more steady than I thought it would be.

"And you think you will keep her safe?" Dad
pressured.

"If she will have me, yes," he replied, whisper soft,
and my heart sped up.

He wanted me.

Dad chuckled and shook his head.

"Well we'll have to see about that, son.”

"Yes, sir."

"I won't just let my daughter go away with anyone. I
have my principals."

I watched Nathan's jaw clench, his eyes flash. And I
knew he was thinking about how my father had practically thrown me
at Sean. Nathan opened his mouth to speak; I knew to say something
that was not in his character. I jumped when I heard Stacy’s voice
right behind me.

“Breakfast is ready!” she called, touching my
shoulder and nodding before turning to the kitchen.

My dad stood and made his way past me while I waited
for Nathan who rose stiffly from his chair. I could see the anger
in his eyes, but as soon as I held out my hand, the anger faded. We
walked in silence back to the kitchen, where my father was already
eating what Stacy had served him. He watched Nathan from across the
table as I placed our breakfast on the table, ignoring me when I
sat down beside Nathan.

Nathan broke his eye contact with him as he bent his
head and recited meal prayers, my own head dipping as he did so. We
both murmured our thanks and amen, and when I looked back up, I
found my father and sister both eyeing us awkwardly.

“Amen,” my dad said, clearly uncomfortable with the
word.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, while my family
continued to watch us. When my father finally spoke, he turned his
attention to me.

“He lives on a farm.”

I looked up and wondered where my father was going
with this.

“I know. I’ve been to it many times,” I replied.

“That’s why you’ve been getting up early, and
cleaning?” he asked.

I nodded.

“You know how much work a farm is?”

“Yes.”

“And you know you’ll be cooking and cleaning and
washing this man’s clothes. No cooking school for you with him,” he
said, and there was a bit of a sneer on his face when he noticed
Nathan’s back straighten.

“We will work together to provide for one another,
Mr. Hill. That is our way,” Nathan said.

“But she won’t go to college,” my father pushed.

“I wasn’t going to go to college with Sean either. I
was going to be forced to stay at home while he worked,” I shot
back.

My dad’s smile broadened.

“So why is this situation better then?”

“She has a choice, and will have love and respect
with me,” Nathan replied, his voice carrying that dangerous tone in
it once more.

My father looked from him to me, shaking his
head.

“You’ll see, Kate. You’re just going from one man to
the other. It’ll be the same with this boy as it was with
Sean.”

“I would never raise a hand,” Nathan started, but my
hand on his arm stilled him.

I turned to my dad and stood up.

“Nathan cares for me, Dad. More than I have ever
felt. He’s a gentle person, from kind people. My place is there,” I
said.

My father leaned back in his chair and seemed to
think about what I had said. In that brief moment, I thought that
perhaps he understood. I thought that finally he might wish me well
and want the best from me.