How to Make Love to a Woman (10 page)

From the website howtohavegoodsex.com, comes this challenging position: instead of assuming the missionary position, where the couple is head-to-head and toe-to-toe, one person should reverse their position, so that the two of you will now be head-to-toe and toe-to-head. Each person has a view of the other person’s feet. The angle of entry is not what most couples are accustomed to and it requires the party on the bottom to arch the pelvis and requires the woman to be willing to guide your penis into her vagina. If you can’t make it work, don’t fret. You will probably get some much needed comic relief as your reward for putting in the effort—for trying something new.

P. S. While each of you is facing each other’s clean toes, why not have a nibble? If she doesn’t like it then you might want to try an alternate approach: use your hands and massage her feet.

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ADD VARIETY TO YOUR “QUICKIE”

There is a big difference between a “quickie” and a “slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am.” The latter is the label women use when a man is a lousy lover and puts no energy into pleasing her. The former, however, is often reported by women as a badge of honor: “I wouldn’t have been late if my husband hadn’t wanted a quickie before I left.” (She sounds like she’s complaining, but really she’s bragging.) A “quickie” can be a very erotic event, as long as quickies aren’t the only thing on the menu.

Quickies occur most frequently in places where there is no access to a bed . . . quickies happen in bathrooms, while a crowd is gathered in the living room singing Christmas carols, in the garage, while the kids are playing basketball around the corner, in the office closet at work.

To most men, there is no trick or skill to “getting a quickie.” It’s as natural as jerking off. It can happen in virtually any place and in any position, but the most common, I suppose, is where the woman bends over the sink, the desk, or the back of a sofa, or uses a chair to anchor herself in some way, and he assaults from behind. (This doesn’t mean she gets it “in the behind,” although, as I said, “any position,” so that happens as well.) Normally, however, it is a vaginal entry with her secured and bent over and him unzipping, inserting, and doing a lot of pounding before the two parties put themselves back together and join the others to face the music, so to speak.

You can add variety to your quickies by taking her face to face, standing up, against a wall (surely you’ve seen this on TV and yes, you have to have muscles to do this), or by putting her over your lap and bringing her to orgasm with your hands only, paying attention to stimulating both her vaginal and anal entryways.

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PUT HER ON TOP

Woman on top is recommended for women who have trouble reaching orgasm or for those who are new to sex, as it puts them in control of the rhythm and depth of penetration. The man can still grab onto her ass or waist and thrust, but she is in a position of control and can find her own way to pleasure. (Warning, although many women like this position, most like it for offering variety, and like anything else, done alone or as a mainstay makes it boring. And this position can discourage brain clit stimulation for those who might not want to be in control.)

Encourage her to tilt her hips back, as this is an angle of maximum pleasure for her. From on top she can also stretch out flat with her legs extended over yours, or she can squeeze her legs together inducing orgasm. She may sit straight up and slide up and down. Many women report that they really like this position because of the added genital stimulation (the vulva rubs up against the man’s pelvic bone). In addition, men (again, if they are coordinated) can stimulate their partner’s vulva (and/or breasts and/or other body parts) with their hands and women can masturbate themselves easily from this position.

If she is reluctant about getting on top, tell her it’s all about watching her and what a turn on that is for you. Actually, this tip works across the board. Positive reinforcement of pleasurable sensations/movements is a good way to encourage your partner to continue doing the things you like her to do.

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THE DELIGHTS OF DOGGIE STYLE

Whenever the man enters the woman from behind he has the unique opportunity to incorporate use of his hand(s) to achieve a multitude of sensations, each intensifying the other. Whether penetrating anus or vagina, having her back against your chest offers you the freedom to explore her other body parts manually. Kneeling down on all fours, or bent over a chair or bed, all variations lend themselves to at the very least toying with her clitoris and surroundings. If both hands are available, the other can be massaging breasts and tweaking nipples. So, guys, if you dislike neglecting those yummy possibilities as much as I do, grab for them!

For variety, ask her to spread her legs very wide—this allows for greater penetration on your part. This will also have the effect of making you feel well-endowed, whether you are or not. If you are indeed a bit large for her and your entry causes pain, then instruct her to clench her legs tightly together as this will have the opposite effect and it will lessen her pain.

Many men like to move from this position to anal entry and that’s OK, but don’t move from anal to vaginal without stopping to clean up. And don’t enter anally without plenty of lubrication. I said I wouldn’t state the obvious, and I just did, but on behalf of many bottoms around the world, I feel I must.

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STIMULATE HER A-ZONE

Between the G-spot and the cervix sits the Ahhhhhh Zone (A-Zone) or the anterior fornix zone, as it is scientifically named. It has only been discovered within the past fifteen years by scientists who were investigating solutions for vaginal dryness. Where the G-spot feels spongy to the touch, and the cervix feels like a small round indentation, the skin between the two is taut. When you find it, tickle it. As you are searching for it, be careful how you press against the cervix as pressing too hard can be painful to your partner.

As you are exploring and finding these special places within the sacred portal, be sure to remember that the object is to dance with her at her Resilient Edge of Resistance. Watch her face . . . keep your focus . . . touch, read, adjust.

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DON’T BE ANAL ABOUT ANAL SEX

In certain American states, anal sex is still considered a form of perversity and there are laws whereby a married woman can successfully sue her husband for divorce if he buggers her. In this day and age, I find that a bit unbelievable, but it is true! Luckily, more of the states have seen common sense and have revised these antiquated laws in the past quarter century.

Getting it “up the butt” is a supreme act of submission for the buggeree and a supreme act of domination for the bugger.

Anal sex can make even the smallest penis feel huge. And even though there are a lot of people who enjoy taking it that way, there are as many that automatically clench their butt cheeks in fear and disgust at the thought. Fear of the pain, disgust that you even want to put your penis there.

It’s probably not so wise to try performing anal sex on a first date, nor is it something you want to wake your wife for in the middle of the night. Better to try some more common kinds of sex-play in those circumstances.

When the time is right, start her off by using your fingers to stroke her ass, kiss her there, perhaps, nibble at the luscious curve of her butt cheeks surrounding the area. Try holding her down with one hand and using your forefinger of the other hand, diddle a while on the outer rim.

If she responds favorably, then try positioning your hard-on against her back hole. If she moans and groans, I’d say you are in luck, but please, please, gentlemen, make sure you are lubricated before you enter. The anus does not have the natural lubricating juices of the vagina. If you’re stranded without a drugstore in sight, good old saliva will always work.