Keeping Secrets (6 page)

It looked like Secret had been a moment too short in rebuking the power of her mother's words. Self-pity consumed her, along with devastation, and at this point, she didn't even want to think about college, scholarships, or anything else. She felt like she just wanted to lie down and die.

Secret's stomach began to churn again. This time it was the symptoms of her pregnancy. She looked down at her stomach and wrapped her arms around it. “Poor, baby,” she said to her unborn child. “You didn't ask for any of this.” She looked around. “Heck, I didn't either.”

Secret had been an only child to Yolanda. Her father had three other children: two twin boys and their sister, who was a year older than them. She'd never gotten to know them though. Once the mother of the three children, Rolland's wife at the time, found out about Yolanda, she threatened Rolland to never take her kids around “that woman” . . . “or her child” once Secret was born.

For the most part Rolland had respected his baby mama's wishes. There was one time, though, when he'd taken all four of his children to McDonald's. The two boys roughhoused on the outdoor play equipment while the two girls, glad to have found out they had a sister, talked and played patty-cake-like hand-slapping games.

By the end of the day, the girls felt as though they'd known each other their entire lives. They even cried when it was time for them to part ways. It was like a Nettie and Celie scene from
The Color Purple.
Secret was around eight years old at the time and her older sister around ten; it would be the last time they ever saw each other again. Even though Rolland had sworn his four children to secrecy not to tell their mother they'd spent the afternoon with Secret, his oldest daughter couldn't resist. She just had to tell her mother about the sister she always wanted who she now had. The baby mama went off, telling Rolland if he let it happen again she would see him downtown for child support. The words “child support” were any deadbeat dad's kryptonite. Needless to say, Secret never saw her brothers and sister again.

Secret had always felt alone, like there was a void in her life. Perhaps it was the love and nurturing a child can only hope to receive from its mother. Perhaps it was the lack of having a constant father figure and good role model in her life. Maybe it was knowing she had blood brothers and a sister out there who were uprooted from her life before the seed had even been good and planted in the soil. All Secret knew was that she'd longed for that missing piece.

With her hands wrapped around her stomach, that's when it hit Secret. “Maybe you're the missing piece,” she mumbled as the light bulb went off in her head.

Secret began to think long and hard about the human life that was growing inside her stomach. No matter how alone Secret might have felt, she knew she wasn't. “As long as I have you, I'll never be alone,” she reasoned.

She stood up and walked over to the mirror. “Why can't I keep this baby?” she asked herself. The main reason why she was even considering aborting the baby in the first place was so that she could live her dream of going to college and making a better life for herself. But Yolanda was right: no money no college. She hated to admit it, but as Secret stood in the mirror she wondered if perhaps her mother was right about everything. Secret's destiny appeared to be sewn up in a bag. A life in Flint just like her mother's and every other chick on the block was the life she would live. There was no going up against destiny.

The more Secret thought about things, the more she began to lean toward giving birth versus taking a life. After only a few more minutes, Secret's mind was completely changed and completely made up.

“Oh, well, baby. Looks like it's just going to be you and me,” Secret said to her unborn child. But if she was going to keep this baby, she didn't want to be left taking care of it alone. Her neighborhood was full of single mothers struggling and doing anything and everything they had to do in order to take care of their children. Coming into this world with two parents was hard enough, let alone just one. So Secret decided that since she was going to have the baby, then she'd need to find a father for it. Who would be the lucky guy?

“Lucky? You know you saw me calling you all last night, nigga. Don't try to play me fuckin' stupid.”

Half awake, Lucky pulled the cell phone from his ear. Kat's, one of his flavors of the month, blaring voice was not the wake-up call he desired. He looked at the time. It was almost noon. “Damn,” he said to himself, mad at himself for sleeping that long.

“Millionaires don't sleep in,” he remembered Turf once schooling him.

“Girl, what the hell are you talking about?” Lucky said in a groggy morning voice.

“Yo' tired black ass had me waiting for you at the club all night last night; talkin' 'bout you gon' meet me up in there,” Kat roared. “I had my girls all up in there waiting with me, hanging out with me until your ass comes so I wouldn't be up in there by myself. You had me looking like a fool with your no-show ass. And then on top of that you didn't even have the decency to pick up the goddamn phone and call a bitch. You got me all fucked up. You got me mixed up with the next bitch.”

Lucky was used to Kat's slick tongue. It got on his nerves, but it was the other things she could do with that tongue of hers that made him keep her around. Any other broad would have gotten told off by Lucky, but he liked Kat. She was cool to have around.

“Damn, my bad,” Lucky said in the most genuine voice he could muster up. “I'm sorry, baby. I got caught up in some business.”

“Caught up in some pussy is more like it,” Kat spat. “I talked to my girl, Taneshia, on the phone last night. She said she'd just seen you at Red Lobster with some ho. What you got to say about that?”

“Man, fuck Taneshia. You gonna listen to that slutty-ass whore? Hell, as quiet as it's kept, that ho wanna fuck me. She'll tell you anything just for me to get on your bad side so she can have a chance at me.” Lucky sat up in the bed. “You probably done told her how good this dick is.” He grabbed himself and smiled.

“Nigga, please.” Kat sucked her teeth. “Don't flatter yourself. What makes you think I be running around bragging about your dick?”

“'Cause it's the best you've ever had. At least that's what you be saying when your ass is riding it.” Lucky laughed into the phone receiver.

“That ain't nothing but IATC talk.”

“BITCH talk?” Lucky asked.

“No, I said IATC talk. IATC talk. I'm about to cum talk,” Kat explained.

“Oh, my fault. I don't speak ho,” Lucky joked. But before Kat could snap off on him he said, “Naw, I'm just playing. Baby, you know yours is the only pussy I'm trying to get into. So why don't you bring your fine ass over here and give me some morning pussy?” Lucky looked at the time on his phone again. “I mean some afternoon pussy?”

Kat sighed. Lucky assumed that in the brief moment of silence, she was pondering whether to accept his invitation.

“Girl, come on. You know you want to come over here and get some of this lucky dick.”

“Ohhhh, I hate you. You are so full of yourself.”

“Naw, you hate yourself, 'cause you know I'm right. And you want to be full of me. So quit wasting your cell phone minutes on that cheep-ass phone of yours and get over here.”

Kat paused before saying, “Give me about thirty minutes,” then hung up the phone.

Lucky pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it, and smiled while shaking his head. He didn't know whether he was just smooth like that, or if hood rats were just vulnerable like that.

“What did she say?”

Lucky looked over at Taneshia, one of Kat's best friends, who was lying beside him buck-naked. “She'll be here in a half hour, so you better hurry up, take a shower, and get to moving.” Lucky sat up, fixing to get out of the bed.

“Whoa, whoa, wait up, baby,” Taneshia purred as she pulled Lucky back by the arm. “Where you going? You gon' just wake up and leave all this right here?” Taneshia pulled the cover back to display her dark chocolate body.

Lucky looked at her. Somewhere within that chocolate bush of hers, something was calling his name to come closer. “Damn, baby, your shit is beautiful. It's like a manicured lawn or some shit.” Lucky dang near foamed at the mouth. Next, his eyes roamed to her breasts. She had the biggest, darkest nipples he'd ever seen in his life. He became hypnotized by them. The longer he stared at them, the more he yearned for them like a baby would its mother's breast during feeding time.

As Lucky slid back into the bed, one hand went straight to rubbing Taneshia's privates as his other hand gripped one of her breasts. He took the large nipple and shoved it into his mouth. It filled his mouth up like one of those extra-large Blow Pops. He sucked and slurped like different flavors of Kool-Aid were coming out.

“Ummm,” Taneshia moaned as she placed one of her hands on top of Lucky's hand that was on her crotch. She began to guide his hand over her lawn. “I love when you touch it.”

“You like that, huh?” Before Taneshia could answer, Lucky thrust his tongue into her mouth while simultaneously thrusting his middle finger inside her.

“Uhhhh,” Taneshia moaned in ecstasy as she began squirming her hips while locking her walls tightly around Lucky's fingers.

“That's right; rock wit' it, baby,” Lucky whispered. He pulled his head back. He watched Taneshia, with her eyes closed, twist and groan to his touch as he fondled her breast, plunged his middle finger inside of her while massaging her clit with his thumb. Talk about multitasking. “You wet as fuck,” Lucky said, his dick as hard as rock as he got turned on by both the sound and the touch of Taneshia's wetness.

After taking her out on a dinner date to Red Lobster last night, he knew she was going to repay him with some off-the-chain, mind-blowing sex. And she had, right in the back seat of his truck in the restaurant parking lot. All the while his phone was blowing up. He knew it was Kat because he'd promised to meet her out at one of the clubs. He was already an hour late at the time, but no way was he coming up out of Taneshia's pussy. As far as he was concerned, a bird in the hand was worth two in the bush . . . and damn did Taneshia have a bush!

“I know we already had dinner and it's kind of backward,” Taneshia had told Lucky last night after they had both climaxed and were sitting in his truck getting their clothing back in order. “But if we go to your place, I'll give you a tossed salad.”

At first Lucky was a little thrown by Taneshia's comment until he remembered Chris Rock's old standup show in which he referred to anal sex as tossing a salad. Lucky's dick got hard all over again. Before he could reply, Taneshia's cell phone had rung.

“While you think about it, let me take this call,” Taneshia had said, then hit the talk button on her phone. “Hello.” She looked dead into Lucky's eyes while saying, “Hey, Kat.”

Lucky watched to see how Taneshia would handle herself on the call with Kat, knowing she'd just finished fucking her man.

“For real? He stood you up again? That explains why I just saw him at Red Lobster with some ho,” Taneshia said, smirking at Lucky. “Girl, you know I wouldn't lie to you. Yes. I'm sure it was him. No, I didn't recognize her from around the way. You know I'm already on probation for that fight I got into with my auntie. I wasn't trying to get with her and have the police called and shit, or else you know I would have had your back under any other circumstance. All right, girl. You take care.” Taneshia was about to end the call before she said, “Oh, yeah, we still going to get our nails done tomorrow? Cool, I'll get at you tomorrow then. Bye, girl.”

Lucky watched in amazement as Taneshia ended the call, turned to him, and said, “Nigga, what? You meeting up with her or you taking me back to your place to do things to me that lame bitch would never allow?”

No words needed to be spoken as Lucky put the pedal to the metal. The choice had been made. Now here he was the next morning going for seconds.

“Ooooh, Lucky,” Taneshia whined, pumping her hips up and down in the air. “Stick it in.”

Lucky removed his finger from Taneshia and placed his wet finger to her lips. She sucked her own juices off of it. He reached over behind his back and tried to blindly grab a condom from his nightstand. He fiddled around until gripping a string of three. He placed the top of the strand between his teeth and tugged, leaving the lone condom pack in his mouth. He threw the other two over his shoulder. With the condom packet still between his teeth, he used his hand to rip it open. He spit out the piece of packaging that remained in his mouth while pulling the condom out of the opened package. He slipped on the condom and then slipped into Taneshia. He slid into her like a baseball player slides into home base.

“Goddamn this shit is wet,” he said, dipping in and out of her.

Taneshia lay flat with her legs opened frog style. Her legs bounced in the air with every plunge Lucky made inside her. His lower half lay flat between her legs while his arms held his upper body up. After a couple more in-and-out plunges, he began to dig deep in her in a motion as if he was climbing a wall.

“Oh, shit,” Taneshia growled between her teeth. “You hittin' that spot right.”

“That's the spot?” Lucky reconfirmed as he continued his climb.

“Hell, yeah. Hell yeah, motherfucker.” Taneshia began to throw her hips back at Lucky, making her legs bounce even harder.

“Damn, you gon' make me cum. Bitch, you 'bout to make me . . . cummmmm!” Lucky said as he filled the condom up with his sticky, icky fluids.

Taneshia, realizing Lucky was cumming but she hadn't yet, quickly pushed Lucky to the side, pulled the condom off, and began playing with herself with Lucky's wet, but still hard, dick.

“That's right, get yours, fuck it, baby,” Lucky cheered her on.

“Oooohhhh, ooooohhhh,” Taneshia moaned as she straddled Lucky, smacking his dick up against her clit.

“That's right; get that dick, baby,” Lucky said as he watched Taneshia's mouth open and he let out a long moan.

Taneshia began to tremble. “I'm cummin'. I'm cummin'. Oh, God.” After a couple more flicks of his dick onto her clit, Taneshia pressed his manhood against her clit, exhaled, and then fell onto his chest.

The two lay there with their chests heaving up and down. A couple minutes later there was a knock on the door.

“Oh, shit, that's Kat,” Taneshia said, rising up and looking at the bedroom doorway. “What are we doing to do?”

Lucky, fully satisfied and worn out, looked to Taneshia and said. “Let the bitch knock; that's what we're going to do.”

Taneshia giggled, pulled the covers over both her and Lucky, then slid under the covers to put her mouth on him. She sucked and slurped while Kat knocked and knocked.