Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) (37 page)

Nick
     I’ve been drinking. But I’m not a socialist.

Victor
     You told me.

Nick
     Yeah, well. I changed my mind.

Victor
     Good boy.

Nick
     I thought you’d tell me where Nadia is.

Victor
     I don’t know.

Nick
     Please. You’ve got to help me. I want to see her. Make things alright. I want to be part of Happy World.

Victor
     Happy World?

Nick
     Yeah. Every day is a new day. Take responsibility for ourselves. Not let the world get to us.

Victor
     Fuck this Happy World, okay? Big fucking lie.

Nick
     But you told me.

Victor
     Yes. Well I changed my mind. You must forget this Nadia.

Nick
     I can’t.

Victor
     The past is the past. You cannot go back to someone. You are with someone for a time but then you leave this person and you move on.

Nick
     But I can’t keep on leaving people. I can’t always be moving.

Victor
     Yes. This is the only thing you can do.

Nick
     Just stay with somebody and do what you can to look after them.

Victor
     Forget them. They are the past. Move away. You can be anywhere in the world. The world is not so big, you know? There’s the same music, the same burgers, the same people. Everywhere in the world. You can keep moving all the time and still be in the same place.

Nick
     I want a place I can be. Ignore the world. Look after someone I love. I want a home.

Victor
     And what is this home? Nothing is fixed any more. You cannot say ‘this is home’.

Helen
enters.

Victor
     You have to keep moving. Yes. This is what I will do. This is what you should do.

Helen
     Nick. God, you look terrible. What happened to you? (
To
Victor
.) What happened to him?

Victor
     Socialist. Drinker.

Victor
exits.

Nick
     Meaningless, yeah? Well, this is meaningless, alright? Drinking and begging and sleeping in piss in doorways. This is what I am now. And I don’t want to be saved.

Helen
     I’m not here to save you.

Nick
     Well, good.

Helen
     You’ve got to talk to him, Nick. He’s had you followed. He’s threatening to go to the press. He’s asked / me to talk to you.

Nick
     I don’t want to see you. I’m looking for Nadia.

Helen
     Nadia?

Nick
     Yeah, Nadia.

Helen
     Nadia is . . .

Nick
     Someone I’ve got attached to . . .

Helen
     I see. And who is this Nadia? I thought you were attached to me.

Nick
     Well yeah . . .

Helen
     But – what? – now you’ve moved on.

Nick
     I suppose that’s right. Yes.

Helen
     And you expect me to deal with him on my own? This is an important time for me. This is your crap and you’re going to have to deal with it.

Nick
     I can’t.

Helen
     If you hadn’t done this to him in the first place . . .

Nick
     I’ve got to forget that now. I’ve got to let it go.

Helen
     Let it go?

Nick
     Yeah. If I’m going to change and . . . change and grow as a person then I’ve got to let all that go.

Helen
     When did you start talking like that? Is this Nadia? Does Nadia talk like this?

Enter
Nadia
.

Nadia
     Hello, Nick.

Nick
     Sweetheart.

Nadia
     I’m looking for Victor.

Nick
     You’ve been crying.

Nadia
     Yes. Tim died this morning.

Nick
     I’m sorry. Victor didn’t say.

Nadia
     He’s here?

Helen
     You must be / Nadia.

Nick
     Nadia, this is Helen.

Nadia
     Right. I’ve heard about you.

Helen
     Well good.

Nadia
     I didn’t realise you were still around.

Helen
     I pop up from time to time.

Nadia
cries
.

Nick
(
to
Helen
)     I think you ought to go now.

Helen
     I’m not going.

Nick
     Nadia’s lost a friend.

Helen
     And I’m sorry about that. But you’re not leaving me / to deal with this.

Nick
moves to hold
Nadia
.

Nick
     Go on. Nadia needs me. Don’t you, sweetheart?

Nadia
     I think you should go to her.

Helen
     I don’t want that.

Nadia
     Helen wants you, don’t you, Helen?

Helen
     I want . . . what I want is for Nick to stop running away.

Nadia
     Go to her. Go to Helen.

Exit
Nadia
.

Helen
     I think Nadia’s letting you go.

Nick
     She’s upset.

Helen
     I think she’s changing and growing and letting you go.

Nick
     Fuck off out of here.

Helen
     Alright then. Alright. Ruined everything. With your gestures. Your anger. So, leave me to live with that. And you see if you can hold on to Nadia. But it looks to me like Nadia is a child and I don’t think she’s going to want you for very much longer. But hey – it could be fun for a while. So change and grow – you cunt.

Exit
Helen
. Enter
Victor
followed by
Nadia
.

Nadia
     Victor. Please. Where did you go – just ran away?

Victor
     No.

Nadia
     You disappeared.

Victor
     I think London is a shitty place. I think it is time for me to move on. And I think Tokyo is much better. Absolutely fucking crazy.

Nadia
     If that’s what you want.

Victor
     Yes. I think I will be model in Tokyo and I will have my own TV show. And one day I will take many drugs and die in the snow in the mountains. I get my money.

Victor
exits.

Nick
     Sweetheart.

Nadia
     You’re still there. I’d wiped you out. Past tense.

Nick
     Please. I love you.

Nadia
     And what does that mean, Nick? It means you want to stay because all the other stuff in your life is too frightening.

Nick
     No.

Nadia
     Because all the stuff out there is frightening and if you say ‘I’m in love with you’ then it’ll be like a charm and all the nasty stuff won’t get to you.

Nick
     You reckon?

Nadia
     I’m letting you go.

Nick
     Letting me go so you can move on and change and grow as a person?

Nadia
     No. I don’t need the bullshit. And I don’t need you any more. What I want is to be on my own. Anything else is just running away. Deal with the nasty stuff, okay? I saw what you did. To that man.

Nick
     Which . . .

Nadia
     To that man’s body. Deep scars. I felt so sorry for him, I would have slept with him.

Nick
     And what did you . . . ?

Nadia
     You must talk to him.

Nick
     And if I did . . . would you . . .

Nadia
     No. I don’t want you back. Don’t do it for that. Do it.

Nick
     Yes.

Nadia
     You’re going to talk to him?

Nick
     Yes. There’s nothing left. I’m going to talk to him.

Enter
Victor.

Nadia
     Good.

Victor
     Bye, Mr Socialist.

Exit
Nick
.

Victor
     I go to airport. Find a guy to take me to Japan.

Nadia
     I’ll miss you.

Victor
     No. You forget me tomorrow. Close your eyes and you won’t be able to picture this face.

Nadia
     I will.

Victor
     You want to take Polaroid?

Nadia
     Yes.

Victor
produces a Polaroid camera from his bag. Poses for
Nadia
. Enter
Tim
.

Tim
     Baby. I want you. I got frightened. Angry because I was ill, but I’m free now. Dead and free and I can tell you what I feel. I love you, baby.

Victor
     I will forget you.

Nadia
     No, Victor.

Tim
     I won’t let you. I’ll be with you wherever you go. Face on a Tamagotchi. Tourist in a kimono. I’ll be there.

Victor
     No. I’ll cut it out of me.

Nadia
     I’ll remember. I want to remember.

Nadia
takes the Polaroid
.

Tim
     You’ll be sleeping in your tiny room in Japan. An earthquake will begin. You’ll be holding to your bed. Shaking. Shaking. The building will collapse. No food. No water for three days. Voices will call from the rubble in Japanese. You’re going to thank fuck I’m there.

Nadia
     Here we are. Starting to develop now. I can see Tim. Can you see Tim? Is he still there?

Victor
     Of course not. You are crazy.

Tim
     That’s not true. He’s lying.

Victor
     You see a dead man?

Nadia
     He’s gone away now. Nothing. There. Something to remember you by.

Boardroom.

Nick
waits. Enter
Jonathan
.

Jonathan
     Hello. I thought it was you. Security guard said: ‘He’s a madman. Or a drunk. Mad drunk. We’ll throw him out. Or call the police.’ And I said: ‘No. I think I know who it is. Send him up.’

Nick
     You’ve been looking for me.

Jonathan
     Yes.

Nick
     You’ve been threatening people.

Jonathan
     I’ve been persistent.

Nick
     Threatening people close to me.

Jonathan
     I wanted to find you.

Nick
     Why?

Jonathan
     I think . . . to hurt you. Punish you. I think that’s what I want.

Nick
     I deserve that. Here I am. What are you going to do?

Jonathan
     I’d imagined someone stronger.

Nick
     Come on. Come on.

Jonathan
     I’d imagined someone angry and threatening and . . .

Nick
     It’s not a trick. Look at me. I’m not gonna fight back.

Jonathan
     And someone worth fighting. And I’m looking at someone . . . weak. Lost.

Nick
     Empty. I feel empty.

Jonathan
     Yes. I think the world’s rather done the job for me.

Nick
     You can’t really get much lower, can you? There’s not much of me left.

Jonathan
     Pretty terrible place, the world, isn’t it? When you actually have to live in it.

Nick
     Horrible.

Jonathan
     All that confusion. All those people buzzing around hurting each other.

Nick
     But you get used to it.

Jonathan
     Exactly – you get used to it.

Nick
     I found myself thinking: Fuck, I wish I was inside again. Last few days. I’ve been standing there. Watching police cars. Hanging around parked cars when there’s police around. Setting off the alarms. Wah wah wah. Come on please. Put me away. One of you has got to save me.

Jonathan
     And . . . ?

Nick
     Nothing.

Jonathan
     Where’s a policeman when you need one, eh?

Nick
     That’s right.

Jonathan
     It’s good to see you.

Nick
     Yeah?

Jonathan
     Now that you’re here, it’s rather nice.