Texts from Jane Eyre (20 page)

 Hey Stacey!
It’s Mallory
do you know if we’re meeting today?
I heard Dawn mention something about it
but for some reason I can’t get a hold of anybody
let me know if this is the right number for you
might be an old number
I made brownie bars so I hope it’s today haha
i mean any time we meet is fine
it’s all fine with me
oh my god and the brownies have sugar in them
I swear to God I wasn’t thinking
 I’m really sorry, Stacey

 shit
shit
 claudia have you seen karen

 not lately 

 i can’t find her
 like she’s not in the house

 last i saw her
she was borrowing your glue gun to put rhinestones on her
 
homework like i told her an hour ago

 well what have you been doing for the last hour then 

 i was enamelling
 
what have YOU been doing for the last hour Stacey

 you know i don’t like you guys to watch me take my insulin shots 

 oh
 
i didn’t know that’s what we were calling robbie brewster now

 CLAUDIA
i cannot believe you
oh my god
by the way did you give mallory my real phone number?
because that is not okay
i got like
 thirty texts from her this morning

Nancy Drew

 Nancy? Are you coming?
I’ve been waiting by the old oak in the park for almost an hour
I tried calling your father and he said you went out to the lake
with Bess and George
but Bess came back ages ago
I guess maybe you didn’t take your phone with you
anyhow the picnic is here
and I am here too
whenever you get here
no rush!
 
I miss you

 oh Ned
I’m so sorry
but I am so close to figuring out who the jewel thieves are
I think it has something to do with the ghostly figure that
frightened Ms. Martin after the gala
and the twins are pretty sure they saw something out
 on the island

 what did they see? 

 oh
could be anything
jewels
or anything
 anyhow so it’s really important that I go sailing with them

 well
 
if you really think it will help you solve the mystery

 oh absolutely
 couldn’t solve it without sailing

 just let me know when you get back
 
maybe I can see you afterwards?

 i don’t know if i’ll have reception on the lake
 it’s really hard for cell phone signals to cross running water so

 yeah I know
 
hey I love you

 byyye 

 don’t you have anything to say back to me? 

 Ned you know I can’t talk openly when I’m on a case
 we don’t know who’s listening in

 right, right
of course
 
sorry

 heyyyyy where are you right now 

 At home
 
Why?

 do you think you could come get me? 

 are you tied up again? 

 i’m just over at the cave
 by the old mill

 so you’re tied up
 
in a cave

 you know
 near the burned-down orphanage

 please just answer the question 

 you should probably bring some scissors with you 

 for the rope? 

 there appears to be some rope here, yes 

 are you tied up with it? 

 Ned look
it’s really hard for me to text with my hands all tied up like this
so please just stop asking so many questions and
 get over here ok

 Nancy!
Nancy I can see that’s you
it’s me
Ned
 
I’m on the other side of the baccarat table

 You don’t have to let on that you know me if you’re working 

 I’m sorry
 who is this?

 Nancy, I can see that it’s you
 
You’re just wearing bangs

 Please leave me alone
I am a troubled heiress who wants only to play baccarat
 and forget her troubles

 are you in disguise? 

 My only disguise are my troubles
is my troubles
 Please excuse the English

 who’s that man you’re with? 

 I’m sorry I wanted to follow the kidnappers into the cave, Ned 

 That’s all right 

 I really am sorry though 

 I know 

 I’m sorry we got tied up again 

 It’s okay 

 I’m can’t believe what they did to your face
 I had no idea they were so desperate

 I know 

 I really don’t know how we’re going to get out of this one 

 Me neither 

 this is worse than when we found out it was George who murdered Bess 

 God 

 remember that? 

 yeah I remember 

 that was horrible 

 it really was 

Atlas Shrugged

 happy birthday 

 Oh, Dag
 
you remembered

 I got you something 

 you did?
 
that’s so sweet

 I got you the greatest gift one human being can offer
 another person

 you didn’t have to do that
 
what is it?

 I have achieved something 

 Oh, gosh 

 well I made an achievement all by myself and no one can
touch it or sully it with their dirty jealous fingers
and no one can take it away from me
never never never
so
 happy birthday

 thank you, Dagny 

 Yes.
 You’re welcome.

 COMMUNISM 

 what about Communism? 

 WATCH OUT FOR IT 

 all right 

 IT’S EVERYWHERE 

 all right 

 SO WATCH OUT 

 I will. 

 do you love me, Hank
really love me, I mean?
I love you, you know
I love the way you run the motor of the world
 I love you like a train

 Like a what? 

 it’s the highest and purest form of love there is, Hank
the love of a woman for a train
gosh but I love trains
that little whistle
the knowledge that you could roll merrily over any one of your enemies and crush their thick skulls with your harnessed steel-beasts
those hot little rolls they have in the dining car
 do we have any of those rolls left?

 I’ll find out 

 trains trains trains
 I do love em

 do you know who I just hate 

 who? 

 everybody
 everybody but us