The Birth Order Book (25 page)

For the firstborn, especially, a question beginning with
why
is a threat to his or her being in control. Always remember that firstborns like to be in control, and they are not at all pleased by surprises or questions that may put them on the defensive.

It’s also good not to press the firstborn for a decision. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to close a sale (we’ll get to that in a moment), but remember that firstborns like plenty of detail, so encourage questions as you proceed.

Firstborns like to be in control, and they are not at all pleased by surprises or questions that may put them on the defensive.

One other thing to remember is that firstborns have substantial egos. When you have an opening, you may want to ask firstborns what makes them or their company successful. Be cautious, however, about saying anything that sounds like insincere flattery. In fact, if you really want to impress Mr. Hennesey, try to do some homework on his company before you arrive. If the company is listed on the stock exchange, you can call a broker and try to get updated on the latest action regarding that firm.

Closing the Sale with a Firstborn

As you wrap up your presentation, always keep in mind that firstborns want to know the cons as well as the pros, the negatives as well as the positives. Don’t try to fool them by claiming that what you are selling is absolutely foolproof and flawless. You know better, and so do they.

Instead, use the psychological principle of “oppositional attraction.” It’s the same thing that I’ve often used with small children in counseling situations. Way back in graduate school, we learned that if you move
toward
the average 2-year-old, saying, “Come here; come to me,” she will usually go the other way—as fast as her little feet will carry her. But if you want to get the average 2-year-old to come to you, you
back up
and say, “Come, come to me.” When I first heard this, I didn’t believe it would work, but in nine cases out of ten it actually does. There is something about backing up that leaves the child feeling in control and not as fearful.

And what does handling 2-year-olds have to do with handling 45-year-old purchasing agents or CEOs? A great deal. The idea is that you don’t just make your sales pitch by saying, “Please sign with me and my company.” Instead, as you move toward your close, you will want to let the firstborn know he is in control—he’s the one who will make the decision.

One of the best ways to do this is to state the obvious pluses and minuses. For example: “Now I know that you’ve been with this other company for seven or eight years and that they’ve been giving you good service. I’d be lying if I said only we give good service—lots of companies give good service. But what I’m excited about is the new dimensions of what we offer. We are ahead of our competitors in several areas. We’ve not only broken ground; we’ve established ourselves, and we have proven product [or service].”

All you’re really trying to do on this first call is get your toe in the door. Your foot can come later.

Then leave it with the firstborn. You’ve made your pitch, and he will make his own decision. If things have gone well, you may hear him say something such as, “I want to think this over. I know someone [across town, in the next state] who uses your product [or service]. I think I’ll shoot him an email and see what he thinks.”

On the other hand, you may hear a polite, “Thank you very much. I appreciate your presentation, and we’ll let you know.”

In many cases, especially with firstborns, the latter comment is probably what you will get when making a first call. All you’re really trying to do on this first call is get your toe in the door. Your foot can come later.

As a group, firstborns are formidable but reachable. They’re impressed by efficiency and a concern for their time and busy schedule. With firstborns, remember: Don’t try to get chummy. Just get done and get out.

If you’re a firstborn yourself and would like more help in the area of business, read chapter 9 of
Born to Win
.

With firstborns, remember: Don’t try to get chummy. Just get done and get out.

Secrets to Selling to a Middle Child

Probably no other birth order is more sensitive to the axiom “Sales are relational” than the middle child. Middle children are relational by nature because they have a hunger for it. As you will remember, they are the ones who go outside the family first to find friends and groups where they feel somewhat in control and aren’t squeezed as they are at home.

As you prepare to call on a middle child, you want to remember that he is a good team player, reliable, steady, and loyal. And unlike the firstborn, he actually enjoys being asked questions— in fact, the more questions, the better. Why is this? It’s simple: he never got asked that many questions while growing up at home. He was simply ignored.

While most middle children tend to be more laid-back and relational than others, there are exceptions. You can run into a middle child who is something of a buzz saw—very competitive, even a scrappy aggressor type. And instead of seeming to like relationships, the middle child may be a loner, quiet, or shy. But it has been my observation over years of counseling that the typical middle child who winds up in some kind of middle management position where he is making decisions regarding purchasing supplies or services is more inclined to be the relational negotiator and mediator.

He actually enjoys being asked questions—in fact, the more questions, the better. Why is this? It’s simple: he never got asked that many questions while growing up at home. He was simply ignored.

Middle children like relationships, but on their terms.

Some Ideas on Approaching a Middle Child

When calling on a relationship-hungry middle child, you may want to ask her if there is anyone else she would like to bring along—to sit in on the conversation or perhaps go to lunch. With a third party, it’s often easier to keep conversation flowing, and this may put the middle child at ease. But it is the middle child’s call and not yours. Never bring along one of your own colleagues as a surprise, thinking that the relationship-hungry middle child believes “the more the merrier.” Otherwise you could easily wind up making the middle child feel overwhelmed. Middle children like relationships, but on their terms.

Another good idea is to contact the middle child outside the office—at lunch, for example. Do everything you can to make your call less of a sales call and more of a social contact. The middle child usually responds best to a presentation that is slower than you would make to a firstborn and is given with sensitivity. If it’s a first call, you may want to leave the impression that you’re not there to sell something as much as you are just to make a contact and get to know each other.

Do everything you can to convince the middle child you are concerned about him and his particular interests. If he is a small businessman and your company usually sells to bigger firms, let him know that that doesn’t make him any less important to you. For example, you may be able to say, “We’ve just opened a new division to accommodate small businesses, and I’d like to show you a package that will save you money.”

Another effective approach to the middle child is to ask him what his biggest problem or hurdle is. What’s the greatest difficulty he faces in business today? Learn how you can help, and then move in to do just that. For example: “I’d like to invite you down to our plant. I’d like you to see what we can do for you.” A variation of this could be: “I’d like to invite you down to meet some of our people. I want to show you what we’re doing for businesses like yours on a regular basis.”

Build your relationship slowly; cast out your lines and wait. As a rule, middle children need more lines cast than the decisive firstborns or the more impetuous babies.

You’ll probably have to make more calls on a middle child before you close the sale. Build your relationship slowly; cast out your lines and wait. As a rule, middle children need more lines cast than the decisive firstborns or the more impetuous babies. They are more “go with the flow.” They may take longer to sell, but in the end they may be more loyal customers (if you give them good service).

A Middle Child Likes Warm Fuzzies

Again, remember that middle children are more likely to appreciate the old proven ways. Their motto is definitely “If it ain’t broke, why fix it?” or “If I’ve been getting along fine with the product from XYZ Company, why should I switch to ABC Company?” Obviously price can be a factor, but it isn’t always the main consideration. Middle children in particular will be looking for service, for relationships, for the warm fuzzy kind of thing that will help them feel more secure and more at home with you as a supplier.

Middle children are not as afraid of (or as disturbed by) change as firstborns may be. Firstborns like the status quo because it helps them stay in control. But because the middle child never had that much control while growing up, he’s a little more willing to roll with the punches.

And while middle children may not be as much the perfectionists as firstborns, that doesn’t mean that you can’t find middle children who are perfectionists. Any birth order can succumb to perfectionism. It’s just that firstborns and only children are more likely do so because of the tremendous pressure they have been under ever since they can remember.

Middle children in particular will be looking for service, for relationships, for the warm fuzzy kind of thing that will help them feel more secure and more at home with you.

Closing the Sale with a Middle
Child

While the money-back guarantee or no-obligation promises are always powerful tools with any birth order, they are particularly attractive to the middle child. Keep in mind that she is slightly insecure and still rebelling (maybe more than a little bit) against the childhood that had her in the middle, squeezed, left out, and sometimes ignored.

It never hurts to emphasize to middles how they can check with others about your claims and how you will specifically service them if they do buy anything from you. For example, you might say, “We both know there are many companies that do what we do, but I believe that the company I’m representing really focuses on fitting our product [or service] to a customer’s needs. We will bend over backward to accommodate specifically what will enhance your production.”

When dealing with middle children, you must always remember three things: Sales are relational. Sales are relational. Sales are relational.

When dealing with middle children, you must always remember three things: Sales are relational. Sales are relational. Sales are relational.

Secrets to Selling to a Lastborn

There is one more birth order that is, in some ways, more relational than the middle child. I speak, of course, of the babies of the family. When you’re selling to lastborns, I always like to say, “Bring your dancin’ shoes and a weather vane.” In other words, be as fun and as charming as you can, and be aware that as the winds change, the lastborn can change as well. Babies fly by the seat of their pants and never stay put for very long.

Babies fly by the seat of their pants and never stay put for very long.

Sell Them before They Sell You!

As you prepare to approach your lastborn client or potential customer, the more entertaining you can be, the better. It doesn’t mean that you come prancing in with party hat and horn. All I’m saying is that your typical baby of the family is looking for fun in life, and while he or she may appear quite businesslike on the surface, this funoriented attitude can be right there waiting to come out.

Babies of the family like to work hard and play hard. Sometimes they like to do both at the same time.

If a social environment is good for approaching a middle child, it’s even better for the lastborn. Babies of the family like to do everything hard—when they work, they work hard; when they play, they play hard. Sometimes they like to do both at the same time.

As you’re chatting with your lastborn customer, be aware that he always loves hearing or telling a good story or joke. Ask, “Would you tell me some of your favorite stories— things that have happened in your business? I’d love to hear them.”

When you tell stories, however, stay away from anything even remotely off-color. As much as I love humor, I always follow this rule, not because I think it’s a safer way to do business, but because it’s the best way to do business in any setting.

Time Counts, So Keep Things Moving

As I mentioned, you need to move fast with firstborns because they are all business and have no time to waste. Lastborns may want to waste a bit of time, but balanced against that is their short attention span. If your lastborn client starts having fun with a story or two, you’d better be well aware of the time. It may be up sooner than you would have liked, and your baby may be gone or halfway out the door, headed for another appointment, before you’ve had an opportunity to sell your product.

The typical baby of the family is highly susceptible to being impressed by name-dropping.

As you make your presentation, be aware that the typical baby of the family is highly susceptible to being impressed by name-dropping. It won’t hurt at all to mention highly visible people or firms who already use your product or service.

Closing the Sale with a Lastborn

The typical lastborn is 180 degrees from the typical firstborn. You’ll remember that firstborns could care less about full-color photos and slick-looking layouts. They want the specs, the numbers, the graphs. Babies, on the other hand, could care less about specs, numbers, and graphs. They love those full-color pictures, the flash, and the glitter. That’s how babies arrive at the bottom line.