The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them (13 page)

A prostitute is
any
female who has sex in exchange for compensation, even if she likes the male or has turned down a thousand males before him. The only practical difference between a regular female and a prostitute is whether cash is being exchanged directly. Exchanging money is a felony in most countries, but accepting a gift, or otherwise an indirect transaction, is not only legal but also socially acceptable. Giving of gifts is a practice that is even taught as good manners of a gentleman by mothers to sons.

Most males are raised with manners to give females flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or ice creams and dinner, but even though none of that is cash, all are compensation. However, you do not have to pay for sex, not with cash or by any other means of compensation, as the very idea that you have to compensate women in any way is wrong. It would only be necessary if males were indeed less valuable than females, which they are not, or if sex was a service females offer males, which it is not. Males are only less valuable to society, and that is why we are conditioned to believe and act like it, including indirectly by adopting customs and traditions based on that belief.

Society prospers if males believe they are of less worth because they will be willing to sacrifice themselves — to work, fight, and even die for the “greater good.” However, if
males
want to prosper, they cannot act as if females are more valuable than they are because women are not attracted to such males. Thus, you should only pay for women you want to have sex with, on dates and such, if you are able to do so without appearing to be compensating them for something. You do this by only paying for cheap and trivial things, without ever expecting anything
else
in return and without making a big deal out of it. Do this in much the same way you might pay for a friend’s drink and only expect another
drink
yourself when it is time for the second round. But the best strategy is simply not to pay for anything, especially if you are poor or dating many women.

However, you still want to avoid being seen as a cheap or rude bastard, as that is “uncharming,” and chances are that you will appear so if you do not pay for your date’s milkshake or if you invite a woman to dinner in a restaurant but then do not pay for her meal. This is quite easy to avoid, though; don’t put yourself in such situations. Use a different approach to meet women than offering them a drink, stop insisting on dates that cost money, and show that you care for your woman by the way that you treat her, how you look at her, what you say to her, how you hold her, etc., instead of by
buying
her things.

To spend a lot of money on women that you have not had sex with is also a bad idea for a range of other reasons. First, you risk making a woman feel uncomfortable, either by making her feel like she owes you something or by making her feel like a whore because you expect sex in return. Second, it costs too much, so it is not even possible to do this with every woman you want to have sex with unless you are rich. Third, it is a gamble, not an investment, as you are not guaranteed sex in return. Fourth, it makes you look inadequate if you appear to try to impress a woman with your wealth. Finally, it is unnecessary, as most women are not attracted to
wealthy
males, but masculine males.

Even if you are financially independent and never have to concern yourself with money, it is still best to wait to shower your woman with jewelry or pay her bills until
after
you have had sex with her so you have formed a sexual relationship already. To avoid attracting the wrong kind of women, the ones who are indeed gold diggers and who use their male’s wealth as if it were their own. Such women represent a tiny minority, however, but it will
seem
like
all
females are gold diggers if you approach them as if they are and start to spend money on them before you have had sex with them. Many females have noticed that they can take advantage of males who feel inadequate and try to buy their affection. With plenty of males buying them drinks in bars, paying their entrance fee to nightclubs, showering them with gifts, paying their bills, taking them shopping, or even traveling, they gladly accept with no intention of ever “paying” back by spreading their legs in gratitude because sex is not a favor females grant males.

Since having money will not improve your chances with women at all
unless
your confidence is linked to it, it would be smarter to spend a little time breaking that connection rather than spending even more time making more money. With the connection broken, you will have a lot of spare time to spend with women, and you will not be stuck in the hamster wheel of work for the rest of your life. Make money only for yourself, not for women, as the pursuit of money will severely slow down your progress with the ladies. Life is short, and your time is limited.

Money is a great invention, but how much money you make is correlated to how valuable
society
thinks you are, not how valuable you or women deem you to be. It should not be a factor in your self-esteem or affect your confidence.

While offering women value in the form of wealth is unnecessary, you do need to offer them
genetic
value in a form that has helped females survive and reproduce. You have to be masculine and behave confidently, but your confidence should be based on courage, not on certainty.

COURAGEOUS

As the popular misconception holds that confident people really
are
certain, the common approach to increasing one’s confidence
is not to adopt the range of behaviors I have been describing in this chapter. Instead, most males attempt to increase their certainty, which means they try to acquire all the things they have been led to believe women want, like fame and fortune. When they finally do acquire these things, their chances and success with women
do
increase slightly, but it increases
regardless
of what they have acquired, as long as it is whatever they believed they were missing and it causes them to start taking proper action with women.

This is why there are so many males who preach about the significance of so many different things. They claim to have discovered
the
secret to getting girls, while the only thing these different men have in common is confidence. It does not matter that they may be deluding themselves or that what one man believes to be his key to success may actually contradict the belief of another man.

This explains the wide variety of methods and strategies that different men use and recommend. Some claim that their chiseled abs get them all the girls, some are convinced it is their downtown penthouse, some believe it is because they are handsome or funny, because they have a big penis, drive a sports car, make money, dress well, dance well, have a dog, or are a doctor. The
only
thing they have in common is that they believe they know what women want and they believe they have acquired it. That is the key; they possess so-called confidence, and with this inner conviction
they
give
themselves
permission to take action and start talking to women with the positive expectation of being attractive to them. This is why so many different approaches can work to some degree, including weird, lame, contradicting, and complex methods.

Males link their confidence to so many different things.
They will tell you that their special trick matters because it does for them, but it would not have to matter at all if they were not convinced that it did.

A woman will not reject her prince, her Mr. Right, just because he does not drive an expensive car, and she will also never ditch her man just because he loses his ride
unless
his confidence disappears along with the vehicle. Those who manufacture and sell those cars will, however, do their best to make you believe that you cannot even get that kind of woman in the first place without their product.

However, if you feel lousy and not good enough because you lack something
outside
yourself, then the answer is not to acquire that thing. The solution is to get your act together and challenge the bad social conditioning that affects you. Your time alive is limited, so you must prioritize. If you spend more time working on your muscles, drinking with your mates, or fixing your apartment than you do approaching and flirting with women, then you are prioritizing the wrong things if it is women you truly want. Nothing other than the ideas in your head matters unless you make it matter to you: Whatever you believe is important will affect your confidence, and if you lack that thing you believe matters so much, women will notice your low confidence, and all of a sudden it becomes a real problem. Do not make it a problem!

Understand that you
already
have what it takes to go after all the women you want. It is just a matter of taking proper action, and taking action should be your number one priority, not chasing things you do not need.

Whenever you wonder if there is something you need to get girls, a good first step in the right direction is to consider if the matter you contemplate even
existed
long ago during “the age of cavemen.” If the answer is no, then it is likely you do not need it
now either. That simple thought experiment does not rule out all that is unnecessary, but it instantly rules out money and cars, for instance. Once you do know how to seduce women all by yourself, feel free to decide on your own if there is anything else that you really want, like all of the things I just mentioned women do not require. By then you will know exactly what you want. You will know that many things you used to believe you needed you can do just fine or even better without. All of a sudden, you might think it is okay to take the bus to work, that dancing is not that interesting anymore, and drinking beer with your mates is not such an awesome way to spend your life.

This does not mean you should give up your entire life, however, but you ought to make sure you do whatever you do for
yourself
and not because you have been led to believe bullshit. If you enjoy working out and hitting the gym a couple of times a week, then keep on doing it for yourself, for all the health benefits, and for the joy of exercise, but do not do it because you want to impress women with your muscles or because you believe all women want a man with a flat stomach.

However, even if all men who are successful with women believe they have what women want, it does not mean that all males who believe they know what women want will therefore be successful with women. For instance, the typical “nice guys” who are so unsuccessful with women are convinced they know what women want, like exaggerated sensitivity and full-blown romance, but they still fail with women because the actions they take are ineffective.

Feeling certain is overrated if the feeling does not propel you into proper action. As confident people merely appear certain and certainty itself is irrelevant, a much better way to increase your confidence is to learn to
tolerate uncertainty
— to build courage.
This means being able to cope with situations even when you lack certainty, a much more useful trait that can help you in all of life’s endeavors. Simply believing does not get you anywhere. You always have to take action, and as long as you are taking the right action, whether you believe it will work or not does not make a difference. Thinking cannot get you anywhere; action does. It is not the thought that counts.

If you consider confidence to be nothing but
certainty
, the way it is described in the dictionary, the only way to increase it would be to increase your certainty, to study and practice more. However, if you see confidence as the appearance of certainty based on an ability to
tolerate uncertainty
instead, you will find that there are two ways to increase your confidence. You can still study and practice, which would reduce the uncertainty that you would have to tolerate, but you can also increase your tolerance of uncertainty itself, so even if some uncertainty remains, you would not be bothered by it.

As uncertainties
always
remain and you cannot really be certain of much, this is the optimal approach.

More often than you think, the people you label as confident are not certain at all; they are merely able to tolerate uncertainty. If you accept that women only care about your appearance, your life will be easier because appearance is something totally under your control, unlike feelings. You can act certain to appear as though you are sure of yourself by walking and talking as if you are, regardless of what you think of yourself. People around you will believe you know what you are doing, though, as they cannot read your mind, and you will be perceived as more spontaneous, secure, relaxed, candid, direct, fearless, straightforward, unpredictable, adventurous, bold, brave, and interesting. Women often describe a man that they are attracted to in these terms without
realizing that they are all byproducts of his confidence. This is why women find men who take risks sexy, but you do not have to be a firefighter, be a surfer, join the army, ride a skateboard, or ride a motorcycle to get girls.

Women love balls, but you do not have to risk your
life
to attract women, and I would advise that you not do so. Life is too short as it is. However, you do have to face your fears if you are afraid of things that are harmless. Many males are, and the ones least successful with women are even intimidated by
women
.

INTIMIDATED

All fears are related to uncertainty. When you are afraid of something, you either do not know what will happen next or you believe you do know what will happen but do not know how to handle it. The uncertainty causes anxiety within you to build, and you may even become paralyzed or panic.

Fears are actually a good thing; they keep us out of harm’s way by warning us so we have the chance to prepare or run away from the unknown — from what
could
be dangerous — which is why our socialization instills many fears in us; we are not born with any fears. For instance, we are taught to fear strangers and to fear failure through stories of the horrible experiences of others, without being introduced to the differences in each situation because we are unable to assess such situations when we are young. This has helped humankind survive for a long time, but occasionally it hurts us as individuals. It is no longer of any help to us when what we are afraid of is not dangerous at all.