The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them (17 page)

However, if you feel that you are being tested somehow by a woman, that means you have messed something up
already
. Figure out what you overlooked or did not do well, and then avoid making the same mistake in the future. Focus on doing the right things earlier, instead of looking for ways to pass her tests. Do not spend time and effort solving problems that you should not have created in the first place. That wastes even more time, and it is a strategy that will keep you from improving. It is much better to address the real causes rather than the symptoms, and eventually as you get better and better, these tests will vanish completely. Real men never have to deal with them, and you will not either when you do things right.

If you keep running into resistance at a specific stage, such as every time you ask for a woman’s phone number, take a good look at what you are doing, or what you may not be doing enough of,
prior
to meeting this resistance, rather than trying to figure out clever ways to deal with it once the problem is already there. Most males do the opposite and try to clean up the problem instead of fixing the underlying issues, or they develop erroneous beliefs from their bad personal experiences. For instance, males who keep getting fake phone numbers from women tend to not understand that
they
have messed something up with these women. Instead, they wonder, “How can I test her number to make sure it’s real?” But such a thought will take you in the wrong direction. Neither the problem nor the solution has anything to do with the
women — it is all about the male. Another example is the males who talk about how bitchy beautiful girls are, when the fact is that
their
lame approaches are causing women to respond with a bad attitude. When you know how women like to be approached and do it well, you never encounter “bitchy” women, and you will see exactly how ridiculous that idea is.

Women never go out to bars and nightclubs by themselves, and if they are not with their group, they are usually together with a female friend, someone who could potentially interfere by, for instance, grabbing your girl and pulling her to the restroom after you make your approach. However, this is yet another issue you will not have to deal with when you approach
correctly
, meaning, in a confident, charming, and responsible way. Males who feel the need to bring along someone to distract the female friends of the woman they want fail to understand this and are only making things way more complicated than they need to be. The female friend will usually leave the two of you alone when she sees how happy her friend is to meet you. She will either excuse herself and walk away or just stay put and enjoy the show. Sometimes she may even help you out. The difference a good approach makes is night and day, which is why a well-executed approach should be your number one priority.

In case your own friends are interfering, tell them about this book, or just stop going out with them, or find better friends.

The amount of resistance that a woman gives you correlates to your level of skill. That could even mean that she might
avoid
bringing up her boyfriend in conversation if she has one, and she might lie right to your face and tell you that she
does
have one even if she is single, all depending on whether she is interested in you, which in turn depends on how confident, charming, and responsible you are.

All over the world, males worry about whether the woman they want has a boyfriend, but like all other worries, it is just another symptom of low confidence, mixed with bad beliefs about how to treat women well. Part of traditional socialization teaches us that you should leave another male’s female alone and not flirt with a female who is already in a relationship. However, I believe that you should
respect
women instead and never treat them as another male’s possession or as if they are incapable of making up their own minds and unable to choose whom they want to be with.

You should not care whether a woman is single or not, and unless she is extremely happy already, she will not mention her boyfriend or husband if you seem to be a much better man than he is — just as you would not bring up your ugly girlfriend if a stunning woman were interested in you. However, even if she does mention that she is “taken,” that still does not mean you should give up. She might just tell you this bit of information to unload the responsibility on
you
, so that she does not feel guilty for talking to you.

Either way, never ask if a woman has a boyfriend, pay no attention to her rings, ignore whatever she volunteers to tell you, and if she says that she does have a boyfriend just acknowledge that you heard it so that the responsibility is on you. You should not care since you are interested in
her
after all, not him, and you have so much confidence that you believe you are as good as a man can get. Even if she does have a boyfriend, he might be a real jerk who treats her badly or abuses her. Maybe she is even married, but her husband beats her every night. You never know, so just continue doing what you do, which is seduce her, and let her mind or heart make its own decision.

Although the amount of resistance that you have to deal with will decrease as you become better at seduction, it is still a good
idea to reduce it as much as possible by isolating the woman physically, and sooner or later you have to end up alone together, as that is one of the later stages of seduction and necessary to have sex.

ISOLATE

When you isolate a woman, you lead her away from other people so that the two of you can have some privacy together. You have to do this because that is what you ultimately want after all, to get to know her further, kiss her, make her horny, and eventually have sex with her. But you need to be able to isolate a woman for several other reasons as well.

First, it is rare to run into attractive females who are all by themselves without anyone else around. If anything, other people constantly surround them and everyone is looking their way.

Second, other people cannot interfere with your seduction attempt. Even if you go out by yourself and are so skilled that the woman’s female friend actually helps you out, other people who are less helpful could still show up to distract or bother the two of you. All of that is less likely to happen if fewer people are around you.

Third, the fewer people who can see and hear the two of you, the less social pressure a woman will feel to be a “good girl.” She may be worried about what other people are thinking of her if they overhear that you are boldly flirting with her or see that you have your hand on her thigh in a matter of minutes while she is both allowing and enjoying it. Such pressure should never affect you, but you cannot expect
women
to be unaffected by it, so you should always consider it.

Finally, isolating a woman also gives you a good opportunity to demonstrate some of your attractive qualities. You will have to be assertive when you tell her to follow you and then physically
lead her away, showing even more dominance by putting your interest above anyone else’s and even more confidence by expecting her to follow along.

The best way to isolate a woman is very simple and straightforward. All you have to do is tell her to follow you, grab her hand, turn around, and start walking with the assumption that she will come along. She will follow you wherever you go as long as she is comfortable. She has to feel comfortable, though, so she knows that you mean her no harm.

Usually you isolate a woman progressively, from meeting her in a public place to having her home in your private quarters. For example, you move her from a crowded bar to a table in the corner, then to a bench outside the club, and finally into a taxi headed to your home.

The number of people around you should be fewer and fewer with each move, but you have to keep in mind that women feel comfortable and safe with other people around them. Like most animals, humans feel a sense of safety in numbers, so every time you take away a woman’s feeling of comfort, you have to have
already
compensated for it with your own ability to make her feel safe in your presence. A relaxed demeanor, a smile, and a friendly attitude are often enough to succeed in this when given some time.

When you isolate a woman from her friends, you should move her far enough away from them to ease her of their social pressure (so they cannot overhear your conversation for instance) while still staying close enough to them that she feels safe (so she can still see them for instance). Then as you establish more rapport with her or help her relax in some other way so that she trusts you more, you can lead her even further away.

The more comfortable she is with you, the further away you can lead her — all the way into your bedroom. It can take an hour
or a couple of dates, depending on how good you are at making her comfortable with you, but she will not follow you
home
until she does feel comfortable, since your home is your territory, unknown to her, and hence potentially dangerous.

If you isolate a woman inside a club but then fail to make her comfortable enough to stay with you, she will excuse herself by saying she wants to see what her friends are doing since she did not go there by herself. This does not mean you have been rejected, but the resistance she is giving you is a sign that you should have made her feel more comfortable. Learn from it, give her a few minutes, approach her again, and continue talking to her. Just do not give up at the first signs of resistance because you can break through many barriers with persistence.

PERSIST

Persistence, without any loss of enthusiasm, is necessary since some things take time to build. For example, women need to feel comfortable with you before they allow you to make advances, such as giving you their
real
phone number or
allowing
you to lead them away somewhere. However, that comfort may take longer than anticipated to establish, depending on how the woman was feeling just before you met her or what happens around her, which is totally out of your control. It may be necessary to keep talking longer than usual, to repeat your compliments, to touch her more, etc.

In addition, a woman is not interested in a male who gives up easily. A male willing to spend some time and effort is obviously very interested in her and thinks she is worth it, but also confident that he can eventually get her. Thus, persistence is a necessary part of making women feel special, but it is also necessary to be congruent as an attractive male.

If you really feel that she is a beautiful and unique woman (as you should have been telling her all evening), but then are willing to give her up just because she is a bit shy, dislikes kissing in public, likes to take it slow, her boyfriend is watching you, or whatever, then you are not congruent. She will think you are not that interested in her after all or that your confidence is low, which are both turnoffs for her. She might actually have been interested in you up to that point, but not afterward.

Of course, it is also possible that the resistance she is putting up is a result of her insecurities about you if she is unsure whether she wants you. A weak male’s natural reaction when he senses that a woman is insecure is to become insecure as well (and to act on that weak emotion); he will start to hesitate, ask her if she is alright, stop smiling, and so on, and that reveals just how little confidence he has, making the situation even worse. When this happens, you have to go all in, not fold. It is your only chance to recover, and recover you must.

When you do not persist, it means that you give up, and that is the last thing you should do. Perseverance is a general key to success in any endeavor but far from common, especially among males as they deal with women. Sometimes you can even make mistakes and say foolish things while still being able to get the girl, assuming you stand your ground and do not walk away. If the woman is not walking away, it means she still has
some
interest in you, and even if she does walk away without actually making it clear she is uninterested in you, you can still approach her again.

However, to persist does not mean to cling on forever, to stalk, or to come back
despite
a woman requesting otherwise — only desperate males do that — but it does mean to keep going until you either get what you want or are rejected.

Let me give you a few examples. When you ask for a woman’s
number, insist that she give it to you even if she says that she cannot. When you try to kiss her on the first date and she turns her head, try kissing her again later. When she leaves you to rejoin her friends even though you had a good conversation, find her again, lead her away, and continue talking to her.

Persistence is an essential strategy for dealing with resistance, but it is a versatile strategy you should always follow — always keep going as far as you can. If the timing is right and the woman is interested in you and does not put up much if any resistance that means you should not stop just after you get her phone number, but you take her for a date right away, and if that goes well, you do not hesitate to kiss her during the date or to try to take her home to have sex with her either.

You should only pause at each step if the circumstances call for it, and if she is uninterested and therefore puts up resistance, you should keep going either until you break through it or until she flat out rejects you so that you know for sure you should move on without wasting more time.

There is a big difference between a woman not being interested in you at all and a woman being interested but putting up resistance. Pay careful attention to each situation so you do not deceive yourself into thinking that she is playing hard to get when she is not playing at all. This distinction will be easier to make if you have been clear with your intentions from the beginning, since she then knows what you want from her and will reject you as soon as she has made up her mind about you, unless you have sparked a romantic or sexual interest in her.