The No Cry Nap Solution (24 page)

sleep and sleeps all night just fi ne, then don’t change a thing in

that arena!

The ideas that follow can be used either in conjunction with

the Pantley Dance or in combination with some of the bed-

preparation ideas. In addition, any one idea can be used alone. So

review the ideas to choose any you wish to try, and don’t be afraid

to add or change things if they don’t seem to be working after a

few weeks of consistent effort.

Invite a Sleepy-Time Buddy to Bed

When your baby leaves your arms for an empty bed, it can feel

like something is missing, thus your baby might instantly wake up

or startle awake soon after you put her down. It can help to have

something comforting next to her when she leaves your arms.

If your baby is past the newborn stage, you can use a small lovey

as a bedmate, such as a small stuffed animal or tiny baby blanket.

It should have no potentially removable or loose pieces and should

not be fi lled with beads that could escape a chewed seam. Many

companies make loveys especially for infants, so they are free of

buttons or fringe and are small enough for a baby to handle safely.

Some even include a small white-noise or heartbeat mechanism

built inside, such as a Prince Lionheart Slumber Bear. The Warm

Buddy Company makes a plush bear that features a hidden com-

partment for a microwavable warming pad. Other products fea-

ture aromatherapy pillows fi lled with lavender. (Check the safety

information on any of these products to make sure they are safe

for your baby.)

150 Solving Napping Problems

Research shows that a baby can recognize her own parents by

scent. You can soothe your baby’s senses by leaving a bit of your

warmth and scent with her in a lovey toy or baby blanket. Tuck

this lovey or blankie into your shirt or cuddle it between you and

your baby during the time you are preparing for nap, and then

place it in the crib with her when you lay her down. It’s best if you

use this lovey only for sleep time so that it becomes one of your

baby’s sleep cues. If your baby drags around his blankie or carries

his lovey all day, then it can be a comforting security object but

may lose its power as a sleep aid.

Lest you worry, a lovey does
not
take your place, as if any toy

could. This is a transitional object that comforts your baby in your

absence and is common among happy, well-adjusted children.

Some children never adopt a lovey but can be comforted by its

presence during the switch from arms to crib sleep.

Create a Midway Step

If your baby totally resists your efforts to have him sleep in a crib,

you can use a step-by-step process, changing to a temporary nap

location now and then to the crib a few months from now when

his sleep biology is more stabilized.

Many in-arm sleepers will adjust to having naps in a cradle-type

swing or reclining stroller much easier than in a crib. You can use

the Pantley Dance to transition your baby from your arms, exactly

as previously described. Infants, in particular, will often accept this

alternative to your arms because it provides many of the conditions

that duplicate the womb: a soft, yielding surface, movement, and

sound. Another advantage to using a swing or stroller is that you

can keep your baby close to you during naptime. Many in-arms

sleeping babies will snooze better if they can hear you nearby.

With either of these choices, you can help your baby take a

nice, long nap even if he wakes up midway. If he starts to awaken

Changing from In-Arms Sleep to In-Bed Sleep
151

before his nap is complete, just turn on the swing or roll or jiggle

the stroller to coax your baby back to sleep to fi nish his nap.

When the time comes to transition your baby to a stationary

bed, you can use the ideas in the chapter “Swinging, Bouncing,

Vibrating, or Gliding: Making the Transition from Motion Sleep

to Stationary Sleep.” While you will have to face another nap

transition from the swing or stroller to a crib, most parents fi nd

that it is a lifesaving middle step for a baby who needs to be held

for every nap. This change can also help you as you work toward

creating a consistent napping schedule. A more mature baby with

a stabilized nap routine is easier to switch from the swing than an

infant with a less predictable schedule.

Side by Side and Slip Away

Babies who sleep well when being held will often accept falling

asleep by your side instead of in your arms. Babies who are breast-

fed to sleep are perfect candidates for this approach to naptime

settling. Like the previous idea, this can also be a midway point

between in-arms naps and crib naps.

Create a baby-safe sleeping location that fi ts the two of you. A

good choice is a mattress on the fl oor in your baby’s room, which

helps make a connection between his room and his naps. You can

use an infant nest to create a smaller baby space on the mattress.

Childproof the room and follow all standard co-sleeping safety

guidelines (visit
www.pantley.com/elizabeth).

Initiate a naptime routine: prepare your baby for sleep, darken

the bedroom, turn on soft music or white noise, and lie down next

to your baby on the mattress. You can place your hands on your

baby or pat, rub, or nurse him to help settle him to sleep. As soon

as he is asleep, slip quietly away. Keep your baby monitor turned

on or stay close by so that you can return to your little one as soon

as he is awake.

152 Solving Napping Problems

Create a Sibling Bed

If you have more than one child over a year old, consider creat-

ing a sleeping place where they can nap together. (Multiples or

children close in age and size can be a bit younger if you follow

co-sleeping safety rules.) Create a soothing prenap routine that

includes reading to your children while they are in bed. Even if

the youngest doesn’t understand the story, your voice will be com-

forting, and this can become a beautiful family ritual.

Many parents report that co-sibling sleep is a wonderful way for

children to bond their lifetime connection. We used the sibling

bed idea in our family and found that our children truly enjoyed

sleeping together. When my oldest daughter is home from college,

you can occasionally fi nd her snoozing with Coleton, our second

grader. (Yes, naps are great for college kids, too!)

Duplicate Successful Bedtime Sleep

If your baby will nap only in your arms but goes to sleep easily in

his bed at night, examine the differences between the two types

of sleeping. Try to fi gure out how you can duplicate bedtime sleep

for daytime naps.

One thing that often brings about better night sleep versus poor

napping is that your baby is actually
tired
when bedtime arrives,

but the nap schedule is off, and you’re attempting to have him

sleep when he’s either not yet tired or overtired. Spend some time

reviewing the sleep chart on page 8 and your baby’s tired signs

(pages 44 and 88) to bring you closer to the right nap schedule.

The second cue that nighttime brings, which is lacking during

the day, is the natural end of daytime light. To duplicate this, shut

your baby’s bedroom curtains and keep the room darker for naps.

The fi nal factor that may be bringing you more success at night

than during the day is your expectations and the actions that these

bring. You
expect
your baby to sleep at night, and all your actions

Changing from In-Arms Sleep to In-Bed Sleep
153

Angela, William, and John, triplets, fi fteen days old

move him in that direction, whereas you may be viewing naps as

optional. By understanding how important naps are and by acting

more confi dently about naptime, you can help your baby accept his

daily naps. You might try “pretending” that it is bedtime when it’s

time for a nap, to create the same sequence of events that brings on

night sleep. Treat lunch as if it is dinner, and then follow it up with

a routine that is the same as bedtime. Often there are subtle differ-

ences that affect your baby’s ability to fall asleep, and this false bed-

time can uncover those differences. Once you have done this for a

few days, you can modify the prenap routine so that it becomes a

shorter, simpler version of the bedtime routine.

Naptime Nursling

Falling Asleep Without the Breast,

Bottle, or Pacifi er

See also: Changing from In-Arms Sleep to In-Bed Sleep;

Catnaps: Making Short Naps Longer; The Nap Resister:

When Your Child Needs a Nap but Won’t Take One

My son is ten months old. When he gets tired,

I breastfeed him to sleep. If I try to put him

down, he wakes up and grabs for me. This

happens for every single nap. I love my son

with all my heart, but I am starting to feel

resentful and desperate. I have done this for ten

months, and I simply cannot do it anymore!

As frustrating as this may be, it is normal behavior, and an

exceptionally common nap problem. According to studies of

naptime behaviors, 73 percent of breastfeeding babies fall asleep

nursing, 67 percent of breastfeeding toddlers fall asleep nursing,

and 33 percent of bottlefed children fall asleep while drinking

from a bottle. This is no surprise; the most natural way for a baby

to fall asleep is sucking while being held. It is a comforting ritual

and a magic spell for sleep all rolled into one.

If your baby falls asleep nursing, drinking a bottle, or sucking

on a pacifi er and then you are able to put him into bed where he

takes a nice, long nap, then nothing needs to change. There are

parents who put their children down for a nap this way from birth

154

Naptime Nursling
155

through toddlerhood. So, if it works for you, consider yourself

lucky that you have a wonderful way to help your child fall asleep.

On the other hand, if you wish to change this pattern or if your

child only catnaps once you put him in bed, you can use the ideas

in this chapter to gently change your routine.

Most naptime nurslings are catnappers—they take short one-

sleep-cycle naps of an hour or less. This is because when they shift

from one sleep cycle to another, they have a brief awakening and