Torn (7 page)

Not until I was ready? Would I ever be ready to see him again? The very next time she made any reference about seeing Eli, I would put an immediate stop to it. I didn’t move back home to rekindle an old flame.

He’s more than an old flame and you know it.

Not wanting to deal with the rantings inside my own head, I finished my coffee and walked toward the stairs. A nice, long, hot shower was definitely what I needed to calm my nerves. Nerves which were already stretched and tattered and I hadn’t even left the house yet.

****

Exhaustion took over as I dragged my tired limbs into a local coffee shop, needing another caffeine boost in order to make it home. After my order was placed, I found a nice, quiet table near the back, out of the way of the other patrons. It was relatively busy, but it being mid-afternoon, I understood why. I’d been at it all day. I visited four schools, trying to decide on the best one. After I’d toured all of the grounds, I’d taken to searching for a job. I’d worked as a radiologist back in Vermont, and I had a few good leads for employment. Thankfully, the surrounding hospitals were hiring; I just had to wait to hear back about an interview.

I was so lost in thought of everything I needed to accomplish I almost didn’t hear the woman at the counter calling my name. “Kalista!” she shouted again. Rushing toward the front, I apologized and reached out to grab my drink. Before my fingers connected with the cup, it was ripped from my hands. Looking over to who could possibly be so rude, my mouth instantly dropped open. I swore it was on the fucking ground.

Standing before me was Mike Hawkings. My past was staring me right in the face, instantly wrapping its hands around my throat and suffocating me. I knew he and Eli were thick as thieves when they were young, but they couldn’t still be in touch. Could they? A bead of perspiration broke out across my brow, my nerves coursing through me, threatening me the longer I stood in front of him. All I wanted was for the floor to open up and swallow me. Anything to take me away from him right then.

We’d always gotten along very well, but the mere sight of him was tearing at my heart, because all I could think of was Eli.

“Kalista? Fucking Kalista Ellington. Is that really you?” he asked, a salacious smile tipping his lips. I couldn’t find the words to answer him. “Holy shit, woman! It’s like looking at a ghost.”

My nerves started to dissipate the longer we stood there, his familiar nature always putting me at ease. Mike was a walking hormone when we were younger, hitting on anyone who was around, with the exception of me. He knew better. Eli ended up punching him square in the face the one time he did joke about us hooking up, although the words he used were a bit more crass. He laughed the whole time blood poured from his nose, realizing right then I was off-limits, even if he was just joking.

“Hi, Mike. How are you?” After the initial shock wore off, I leaned forward and gave him a big hug. I’d always liked him. Other than propositioning me that one time, he’d been a dear friend, the three of us often hanging out together. Raking my eyes over him quickly, so as not to appear as if I was leering, I noticed he looked well. Very well, in fact. He’d kept the same hairstyle from years back, although it was a bit longer. His dark, thick curls always made the girls crazy, never mind the single dimple he showed when he smiled. He was certainly quite the looker, even more so now that he was older.

“Fuck, woman. I still can’t believe it’s you. How long has it been?” He smiled wide as he reached for my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze. It was a friendly gesture, one I hadn’t realized I needed until right then. I was so confused as of late, uprooting my life and moving back home. It was nice to see a familiar face.

“Too long,” I confessed, gesturing for him to follow me back to my table.

After we were seated, we continued to stare at each other, neither one of us knowing quite what to say. Even though I had a drink in hand, my mouth had suddenly become very dry, my leg bouncing nervously under the table. Such a reaction was expected, knowing full well the topic of conversation, whenever we started talking again, would turn toward the one person I was desperately trying to avoid.

“So,” he started, biting his lower lip and tapping his fingers on the table. “Does my man know you’re here?” He cocked his brow and leaned back in his chair, a move meant to tell me he was waiting me out. Knowing I wasn’t going to escape answering him, I steadied myself and took a deep breath.

Fidgeting in my seat wasn’t going to do any good; Mike was the type of man to enjoy seeing people sweat. He was blunt, full-force and no-holds-barred. Often saying whatever he wanted was something he was known for, even if it landed him in hot water.

He wasn’t going to go easy on me, and we both knew it. Instead of directly answering his question, though, I tried to play it off as if I was oblivious.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Then something happened which gave me away. My right eye twitched, and he knew he’d caught me lying. Apparently, I’d forgotten he was aware of my tell.

“Uh-huh,” he mumbled, arching his brow even further into his hairline. Damn, he’s really become more handsome with age. “Come on, Kalista,” he pleaded. “You know me well enough to know this is happening. I’m not letting you leave here until you talk to me.”

My heart rammed against my chest, my mouth becoming dryer by the second. There was no escaping his interrogation so I decided to be honest with him, even though I was dreading the conversation.

“I moved back a week ago. For good,” I completed, slumping in my chair because I knew the next question he was going to ask was working its way free from his throat.

“So…have you reached out, you know, to let him know the woman who tore his heart from his chest all those years ago is now back in town?” There was a small tremor in his voice, a tone completely opposite from the way he was looking at me. He was trying his best to have a normal conversation, but his protectiveness over his longtime friend was seeping through. I guessed I didn’t blame him.

“You’re still in touch with him?” I asked, desperate to steer his attention away from his question.

“Of course. I didn’t abandon him like you did.” Yep, Mike says whatever he wants to. His demeanor completely switched, his angry eyes boring into mine. Still maintaining as much of his composure as he could, he stayed silent and waited for my response.

Having no idea what to say, knowing whatever answer I gave him wouldn’t be good enough, I remained silent. Continuing to twitch in my chair only spurred him on. He wanted to make me uncomfortable, watch me squirm. And even though I was upset with him for doing so, I understood why he was doing it. Eli was his friend and I had wronged him. In a big way. So I guess, in essence, I kind of wronged Mike, as well.

“Can we please not do this right now? I just can’t deal with it.” My voice shook and I silently implored him to let me off the hook.

Fat chance.

Before I could stop them, tears had gathered and threatened to spill over if he kept it up. Realizing he was the lesser of two evils, knowing I simply would let my emotions run free if Eli were the one sitting across from me, I tried to convince myself to just answer him so we could move on. But no words would spill forth.

Staring at him, tension blooming heavy in the air, I simply froze.

After a minute of neither one of us speaking, he hit the top of the table and shouted, “Fuck!” Shaking his head, he gave me the most disappointed look anyone had ever thrown my way. “You might not want to have this conversation with me, sweetheart, but it’s better than having it with Eli. Don’t you think?” His tone was condescending, and although I knew something like this was eventually going to happen, I didn’t have to deal with it. Not right then.

Reaching for my keys which were sitting on top of the table, I moved to stand, but he was quicker. Grabbing my hand, he pushed it back as he snatched them away from me.

“Mike, give me my keys. Now.” He had pissed me off, and the sad thing was I knew he was enjoying himself. Maybe it was his own little way of getting back at me in some small manner for leaving his friend heartbroken.

“Not until you answer my question.”

Deciding not to prolong the agony any further, I gave him what he wanted. “No, all right? No,” I said louder. “I haven’t told anyone I’m back home. Are you happy now?”

“Happy? No, that isn’t the emotion I’m feeling right about now. Pissed. Yeah, pissed pretty much describes how I’m feeling.” The muscle in his jaw ticked before he spoke again. “It took Eli years to get over you. Hell, he still probably hasn’t forgotten you, but he’s coping. As well as he can, at least. And now you’re back. To fuck things up again and send his head in the wrong direction.”

“That’s not my intention. Truly. I have no plans of contacting him. I know what I did hurt him, even though I had my reasons at the time.”

“Yeah? And what where those?”

“None of your fucking business.” I was tired of him trying to make me feel like shit. I’d done it enough to myself over the years. Holding my hand out, I waited for him to give me back my keys.

We were at a standoff, both of us silently challenging the other.

Finally, he was the first to speak. “You know I’m going to have to tell him you’re back, don’t you?’

Instantly going into panic mode, for more reasons than I would ever reveal to him, I stammered over my words. “Pl-please, don’t s-say anything to Eli.”

Shit! Why did I have to wander into this damn coffee shop? Why did I even leave the house today?

My phone cut through our tension before either one of us could speak another word. Desperately needing the diversion, I swiped the ‘answer’ button before seeing who was calling. I was never so happy to hear my mother’s voice. “Honey, are you coming home soon?”

“Yeah, Mom. I’ll be home shortly. Give me twenty minutes.” My eyes never left Mike’s face. Now he knows where you’re staying. And since my mother never moved, he, as well as Eli, would know exactly where to find me.

Tossing my keys on the table, Mike rose from his seat and took a few steps toward the front door. Stopping mid-stride, he turned around and uttered four parting words to me.

“Do the right thing.”

Then he was gone, and I was left feeling worse than I had in years.

ELI

I
’d been so busy at work over the past two days I never had the opportunity to return any of Mike’s calls, even though his voicemails sounded urgent. But if it was important enough, he should have told me exactly why he was calling.

Though we were tight, and had been since forever, it wasn’t abnormal for us to go a week or two without talking. So the fact he was hitting me up with a ton of random calls should have been some sort of trigger for me to call him back.

But what the hell could be that important?

Then it dawned on me. Smacking my palm against my forehead, I suddenly remembered he was having a hell of a time with the news of his baby sister being pregnant. “Shit!” I cursed out loud into the empty space of my office. I’d been so consumed with working on an important client’s case that I’d become an asshole of a friend.

Hoping Mike hadn’t done anything stupid, like landing himself in jail for beating the hell out of whoever knocked up Sierra, I reached for my phone and quickly dialed his number. Would I have been his one phone call? Dismissing the thought as ludicrous, knowing damn well I would have known if he’d been arrested, I cradled the receiver of my office phone while I waited for the call to connect.

It rang once.

Twice.

Before it rang a third time, the door to my office flung open, a disheveled Mike looming in the doorway. His dark, curly hair was ruffled more than normal, an exasperated look overshadowing his sullen features. Bracing his arms on each side of the frame, he looked at me with wide eyes before taking a step inside. It was a rare occasion when I’d seen him anything but cocky and sure of himself, never letting anything bother him—his sister’s pregnancy the exception. So to see him obviously worried about something instantly put me on guard.

“What the fuck, Warner!” he yelled. “Don’t you know how to answer your damn phone?” Taking a few more steps, he stood directly in front of me, waiting for me to answer, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He was annoyed with my lack of communication, but there was another emotion lurking behind his eyes. Chewing on his lip, he did his best to disguise it as pure irritation.

“Sorry, man, but I’ve been so busy.” Shuffling my feet, I’d suddenly felt a little uneasy. Maybe it was because of the guy boring holes through me, averting his eyes now and again as he nervously searched the rest of my office.

“Do you have anything to drink?” he asked, moving toward the small liquor cabinet housed in the corner of the open space. Tipping the decanter, he poured himself a nice, stiff drink. Damn, something must really be going on with him.

Throwing the papers littering my desk into my top drawer, I plopped down in my seat, exhausted and ready to hear whatever he was going to tell me. “Hey, pour me a short one, will you?” It was late and everyone else had gone home. And technically I was done working for the day, so there was no reason not to partake in a drink with my buddy, right?