Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (18 page)

“What happened?” my voice cracked.

“Car accident, she was driving and lost control. Hit a cement block at full speed, died instantly.” Teri finished in a whisper.

“Oh, my God,” I whispered looking at her, my eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

“Ripped Lukas apart, not being able to save her. I think that’s why he’s the way he is, has been ever since she died.” She paused looking at me full of thought. “So when he’s being overprotective or an asshole, just know it’s because he lost someone extremely close to him and he doesn’t want it to happen again,” Teri said looking at me with emotional eyes.

Extremely close to? As in me?

Teri’s words hit me as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water at me. “Teri, I’m not Aimee and Lukas doesn’t see me as someone he... that’s just not how it is with us... we... I...” I stuttered not knowing what to say.

“Lexie baby, why are you fighting this with Lukas? That man is... completely stubborn and bossy sure, but he sure has something for you, you’re a fool if you don’t see it.”

“Why?” I started, looking from her eyes and out the window before continuing. “I’m not in a place to be seeing anyone and someone like Lukas doesn’t want anything other than a good fuck, no strings attached.” I could see her looking at me from the corner of my eye, looking at me like I had three head’s.

“Before I met my husband Darnell, I was in a horrible place in my life Lexie.” Teri’s hushed voice got my attention and I turned my head around to meet her gaze. “I met Darnell when I was twenty seven. I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with a guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with,” she said with her eyes locked on my face.

Oh shit.

I wasn’t expecting that.

“Teri...” I hesitated nervously, unsure what to say and lost as to why she told me that.

“I met Seth when I was twenty three and I thought he was it for me. He was sweet, funny, loving, smart, just everything I wanted in a man. He made me laugh all the time, he surprised me at work with flowers or to take me to lunch, he was... everything. All my girlfriends told me to not let him go, that he was a keeper and how lucky I was to have found someone like him.” Her eyes stayed on me for a minute and I noticed the pain and agony in them, no walls there to hide it.

I didn’t say anything, but sipped the rest of my latte and waited. “We had been together for a little over a year when it first happened,” her voice low I almost missed it. “He came home from work one night and to this day I still don’t know what set it all off, but he came home and I was in the kitchen making his favorite meal for dinner. I heard him come in and I called out my usual greeting, but he didn’t say anything back. I figured he didn’t hear me or was on his phone; he walked into the kitchen and just stood there, watching me.” She paused, looking at me.

Watching her intently, I waited. “He asked what I was making so I told him, then he left to change and when he got back, dinner was on the table and... he just lost it. He yelled at me, I mean yelled so loud that sometimes if I close my eyes and really listen, I can still hear him. After he yelled over not having the table set right, he sat down and I guess I missed the memo to have his beer ready for him that day because it caused another explosion and that’s when he slapped me across the face.” Teri raised her hand to her cheek as if it had happened all over again.

I had no words, while she had lived and was moved on from her nightmare, I was still living and breathing mine without any idea of when or if I would ever wake from it. “How long did it go on for?” I murmured.

“Longer than it should have. After that night I should have left him, but I believed him when he apologized and told me it wouldn’t happen again. But he lied. And I stayed with him for three years and those years Lexie, were the worst fuckin’ years of my life. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t wish I was dead and I don’t even know why I stayed with him. I knew he would never change, promise after promise and I knew they were all empty, yet I stayed.” Teri’s eyes were focused on the window.

It was strange sitting with someone who had gone through what I was going through. Our situations were different but in the end all the same; we’d both stayed with a man who used his hand or whatever they could to overpower us and take something precious from us. She may have stayed out of love but I stayed with Dex out of fear, not just for me but for Finn.

“Why did you tell me that Teri?” I asked her carefully.

Her eyes softened, no longer showing pain or agony. “I think... I think you needed to know that there are people out there who go through something like that and that you aren’t alone, that there is a way out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said sharply.

“Baby, I can see it in your eyes, you may think the wall is up with no chance of coming down and it just might be, but coming from someone who knows what it’s like to live through that kind of nightmare I can see it, it’s not hidden to me.” She paused looking at me carefully. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay, I understand, but just know, if you need to talk, my ear’s always here to listen.”

I suddenly felt nervous, extremely exposed to that fact that she could see something in me just by looking into my eyes and know I was a victim of abuse. I thought I was covering it up well, from everyone. Obviously not.

If someone like Teri ,who I only spoke to the one night we worked together could see it in me, could Lukas see it as well?

Could he see it, all the pain and darkness I harbored?

I forced a smile as I spoke a lie, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

She returned the smile, then opened her mouth to say something but closed it just as quick. She sat across from me clearly contemplating what she wanted to say. “That Erik guy, what’s his story?” she finally asked.

Here we go, again.

“What do you mean?” I asked knowing where the conversation was going.

“Well, I know he’s new to town, is there something going on with you guys?” she asked carefully.

“No, we’re just friends I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Yeah, we just met the other night, so I don’t know him very well but I guess I could call him a friend. Why?”

She twisted her lips to the side a few times, thinking. “He’s just been in every night since you met him, I don’t know, I just found that to be strange, don’t you?”

She did have a point. He’d been in every night to have a couple of beers and talk. It wasn’t anything spectacular, more so small talk. I knew he had moved to Camden to start over after he had caught his girlfriend of two years cheating on him with one of his best friends. So he packed up what he could and drove, ending up here, deciding to stay.

“Not really, he’s new and doesn’t know anyone, but there’s nothing there between us other than friendship and he knows that.” I picked my latte up, taking a sip before continuing on. “I’m actually thinking of setting him up with Mollie. She’s done so much for me I feel like I owe her and setting her up with Erik, who seems like a good guy, would be a good idea, said she’s down with it, I just have to run it by him now,” I said shrugging my shoulders.

Teri had a wary look on her face. “I’m sure you can ask him tonight when he shows up,” she uttered and I raised my eye brows at her. “I’m sorry Lexie, I just don’t like the vibe when he’s around. And the way he looks at you, makes me uncomfortable.”

“You sound as bad as Danny, last night telling me to watch myself around him because he didn’t get a good vibe. Maybe you both mistook his looks, kinda like you do with Lukas,” I quickly finished.

“Nice try baby, there is a huge difference between the way Lukas looks at you and how Erik looks at you and I’m all for Team Lukas,” she winked. “And so are Danny and Bobby just so you know. So that makes three for Team Lukas,” she laughed.

She can’t be serious, team Lukas? Really?

My eyes widened as I choked on a laugh. “Did you guys seriously make teams for something that doesn’t even exist?”

“You know that’s right,” she grinned.

“Teri, this isn’t like that book where everyone either picked team vampire or team werewolf, this is real life and I’m sorry to burst your team bubble but, again, there’s no Lukas and I,” I finalized.

She smirked at me, her eyes bright with enjoyment. “Sure baby, you keep telling yourself that. You’ll eventually figure it out.”

People need to stop telling me that.

I sighed. “What? That I secretly have feelings for Lukas and I’m just fighting it because I have issues of my own? That I’m scared?”

She bobbed her head. “Pretty much, yes.”

“You... I have no words for you on that.” I gave up on the topic at hand.

Still smirking she said, “So I know Erik asked you out, has Lukas?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he wants to take me to dinner tomorrow night.”

“And?” She asked, waiting for more.

“I told him what I told Erik,” I said, shrugging my shoulder.

Teri sat back and her eyes pointed at me, as she crossed her arms over her chest– thinking. Didn’t take long before her lips pulled into a grin and her eyes danced.

I don’t think I’m going to like where this goes.

“If you say there’s nothing between you and Luke, then prove it.”

“Prove it?” I swallowed.

Her grin widened. “Go to dinner with him. I mean if there’s nothing there for you then you’d have no problem sitting there through dinner with him, would you,” she said victoriously. “If there’s nothing going on, then why wouldn’t you wanna have dinner with a
friend?
”

Son of a bitch.

“You’re joking?” I half-heartedly
laughed. Teri shook her head as she sat there smiling at me. “You want me to prove to you that there’s nothing between Lukas and me by agreeing to have dinner with him?”

“That’s what I’m sayin’.” She sat back smiling triumphantly at me.

She got me.

There’s no way outta this. If I didn’t do this, then I was basically admitting that I had feelings for Lukas. I’m screwed and God only knew what Teri would do. So there was only one way for this to go.

“Fine, if it will prove to you and everyone else, then alright I’ll go. I’ll call and let him know,” I said with a wave of my hand. Teri gave me a pointed look, raising her eyebrows. “Right now?”

Teri grinned nodding her head.

I sighed, reaching into my purse and pulled out my cell phone proceeding to dial Lukas.

“What?” His voice snapped as he answered on the third ring.

I swallowed. He sounded angry, not happy that I was calling. “Uh hey, sorry is this a bad time?” I asked nervously.

“Christ, sorry Peach, didn’t see it was you calling.” His voice no longer agitated but calmer. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah everything’s fine, I was um... calling to see if... uh...I,” I trailed of, timidly looking at a grinning Teri. I rolled my eyes at her before I closed mine and blurting out, “I was calling to see if the invitation to dinner is still on the table for tomorrow night, if not than that’s–”

“Pick you up at eight.” Lukas interrupted, cutting me off.

“Okay.”

“Lex, the invitation never left the table. I was coming to get you at eight regardless,” he said smugly. I could hear the smirk in his tone before he hung up.

“That cocky son of a bitch,” I whispered under my breath as I tossed my phone back in my bag.

Teri burst out laughing. “We better get to work.”

“Mollie!”

One.

Two.

Three.

“Molls! I need your help!” I called again from my room.

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” she shouted and I heard her and Finn running up the stairs before he came bursting into my room, jumping on my bed.

“Hey little dude,” I said, smiling at him as he settled on my bed, Gameboy in hand.

“Hey mommy,” he said not taking his eyes off his game.

I shook my head.

“Where’s the fire?” Mollie huffed as she sat on the end of my bed.

“Which one?” I asked.

In my left I had a knee length navy blue dress with a tight bodice that flowed out at the waist. And, in my right I had a simple black dress that showed more leg and hugged my body in all the right places. Both dresses I’ve had for awhile but never had a chance to wear, until now; for my date with Lukas.