Your Orgasmic Pregnancy (7 page)

Nauseamaybeamajorfactor in sidelining yoursexdrivedur- ing T1. For those of you whose “morning” sickness turns into an all-day, every day affair, fear not. This difficulty frequently gives way to a rather easy second trimester. Indeed, some of the women we interviewed who endured the most extreme cases of preg- nancy-related nauseaturnedinto someofthesassier, randier Hot Mamasduringmiddlepregnancy. Perhaps it canbechalkedup to an utter appreciation for feeling good again. Whatever it is, know that you
will
get to enjoy your blossoming body before long. Still, despite the nausea, you may feel like you’re walking on air, elated with the news of your pregnancy. And nothing can make a gal feel sexier in quite the same way!

At the opposite end of the spectrum, some lucky ladies expe- rience increased sexual urges during T1 that often continue or increasethrough T2. Manyofthesepreggiesreportanincreasein sexual activity, awareness, and interest, often at levels exceeding their normal state. This has been the case for Raleigh: “I noticed major changes from the time I knew I was pregnant. There was a definite increase inmylibidoandithasstayed moreelevated than my norm throughout.”

In most cases this heightened sexual desire is due to the sharp spike in estrogen triggered by the onset of pregnancy. The re- sulting increase in vaginal lubrication and the engorgement of your genitals (known as vasocongestion), with or without sexual arousal, coupledwithincreasedoverallvulval sensitivity, canamp

What’s Going on with Your Partner

Your lover may be feeling his or her own set of pregnancy-related emotions, perhaps becoming more prim and proper than ani- malistic in response to your newfound sexy surge, especially if he or she takes issue with the notion of sexy preggies. Your partner may begin to feel a bit “used” because of the demand to satisfy your bursts of horniness, especially if your hormonal rush has you swinging from raging anger to pleas for frenzied makeup sex within a five-minute span. Let your partner know it’s nothing per- sonal—you’re just craving sex in ways you’ve never known, and it’s equally confusing for you.

for hot mamas

up your titillation quotient and your desire. Your entire lower body may be constantly awash in pleasurable sensations. Orgasms may come more easily than you could have ever imagined. Lu- brication and orgasm may intensify dramatically as the abdomi- nal wall stretches and grows tauter around your lower abdomen, causingtheskinthat connectsyourvulva to yourlowerabdominal muscles to stretch tighter and tighter. Even without any manual stimulation, youmayfeelyourgenitalarearubbingacrosstheun- derlying muscles, providing sensations much like those bestowed by any skilled “cunning linguist.”

For women who enjoy good clitoral stimulation (and who doesn’t, for god’s sake), this may be one of the horniest times of your life. Wearing undergarments will only add to the torture. Talk about one Hot ’n’ Bothered Mama! For me (Danielle), the skirt-no-panties thing was rough in the winter, especially in the northeastern United States, where I live, but I was forced on sev- eral occasions to brave the cold, even in the face of the threat of popsicle privates and all. Vive la crotchless underwear and long, button-to-the-floor winter coats! Many a pair of sweater tights lost its crotchaswinterturnedbitterandmyclitseemed to takeon a mind of its own.

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Blush-Inducing Dreams
Yet anotherdelicioussideeffectof beingpregnantisamarkedin- crease in sizzling sex dreams. A 1980 study found that 17 percent of those surveyed felt they had many more erotic dreams during pregnancy than usual. In part, this is because a preggie’s REM sleep patterns change, leading to more dreams; in addition, her sleep tends to be lighter, making for better dream recall. Dan- ielle’s dreams were extremely vivid and very physical, frequently resulting in nocturnal climax.

Based on our discussions with pregnant women nationwide, it turns out that this phenomenon is surprisingly common. Many Hot Mamas confessed that their erotic dreams featured mem- bers of both sexes, parties with people other than their partners, multiple partners, typically “unspeakable” sex acts (often shock- ing to even the hottest Hot Mama), and “strange” and “unusual”

sexual activities. One woman claimed to have dreamt of sleep- ing with nearly every man she’d ever been involved with, except her current partner. Raleigh is still surprised by her pregnancy dreams, which involve everything from girl-on-girl action, or- gies, and penetration to feeling sensations against the side of her vagina (as well as a few unmentionables). “The weird thing has been the erotic nature of my dreams and the heightened level of fantasy, because it’s totally not something that would turn me on normally,” she says. “I’ve talked to Pirro Cy about it, but none are anything we would want to act on. It doesn’t turn me on outside the fantasy element. In fact, itmakesmenauseousthinkingabout some of it. Most of it is me being a voyeur and watching it being done. I totally wasn’t expecting these dreams.”

Our recommendation: Embrace the dreams. They can offer amazing release—and they can provide great fantasy material for soloorpartneredsexcapadeswhenyou’re awake. Allisonsays,“My sexual fantasies definitely increased during my first pregnancy. I think it’s because I was carrying a boy and had more testoster- one—maybe? Anyway, it boosted activity with my husband, which was even more enjoyable since my orgasms involved my entire uterus (and felt like a huge cramp), which was more gratifying.”

Herearesomepointersforhow to rememberyoursexdreams. Dream experts recommend staying very still in the first moments after you wake, keeping any memories from the dream fresh for your conscious mind to grasp. Write your recollections immedi- ately in a bedside dream journal—one of the most effective train- ing tools for dream recall. Keep track of any additional images

that return to you throughout the day to create your own private
Penthouse Forum–
style fantasy collection to pore over with your partner.

Sharing the erotic details of your dreams with your partner can act as a reminder that you are still a sexual being. Your lover is likely to get totally turned on by hearing your stories. He or she will appreciate your new, wilder imagination. Who knows—you may work up to some fantasy play, acting out scenarios now or sav- ing them to sex things up postpregnancy, and you may open a whole new door to a broader sex life within the comfortable con- fines of your relationship. As any Hot Mama knows, sharing fan- tasies and dreams with your partner can be a powerful, sexual impetus at all times, not just duringpregnancy. Plus it cangetyou more action.

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Sexual Pleasuring During T1

Most women hardly show during the first trimester of their

pregnancy, which makes the “hows” of having sex a relative no- brainer. Even without the telltale bump, many women feel riper, fuller, and more carnal than ever during T1, yet some women fail to realize they’re pregnant. For those who are aware of their new status, sex play can become a little more cautious or tentative. Po- sitions that put pressure on the abdomen or pound on the clito- ris may unnerve some couples, especially if they’ve suffered prior miscarriages, as thirty-one-year-old Colin, a papa-to-be from the South, can attest: “When it comes to sex, there’s definitely a fear, especially in the first trimester. Lori was really tired, and sex

wasn’t high on the agenda. We’d also had a miscarriage the first time around, which makes me wary in bed, wondering if sex was an element in the miscarriage or not.”

While caution is understandable—and in some cases ad- vised—most couples can continue with their normal prepreg- nancysexlives, as longas“normal” doesn’t includedeath-defying gymnastics,roughorviolentplay,ortheinsertionofoversizedob- jects. This in no way suggests that pregnant sex can’t have its wild side. As Jay, whose wife is pregnant with their second child, says, “There’s something about my wife being pregnant that changes myoutlook onhavingsex. Thewholeideaofitisdifferent. You get so used to worrying about getting pregnant and the ramifications of that happening, that when she
is
pregnant, there’s a different attitude, makingitmorefunandrelaxed. She’s already pregnant, so there’s less at stake. That distracting worry is no longer there; nothing can possibly change how things are. There’s a possibility of things sizzling even more because sex isn’t so high stakes—we can let go a little more.”

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Pregnant Sex Equals Better Sex: Your Most Amazing Orgasm Ever

One of the greatest sexual benefits of pregnancy, and one of the main factors motivating us to put out this book, is the increased intensity and pleasure of orgasm that usually accompanies sex during pregnancy. This is due to the increased blood flow to the genitals that comes with pregnancy. If climaxing during sex has been difficult for you, you may finally find your orgasm—or

several! Inthegenitallyengorgedstate ofpregnancy, low-friction, often high-labor acts like cunnilingus and missionary position can cause climax with relative ease.

No matter what your orgasmic quotient has been to date, ex- ploit this phase of your life by exploring all roads to the “Big O”:

Spontaneous orgasms—
Known also as an “extragenital” or- gasm, this kind of climax occurs when a woman’s erotic thoughts set her off, without any genital contact. In some cases, a sponta- neous orgasm may be triggered by having any part of her body touched while she’s lost in sexual fantasy or while she’s simply going about her daily activities. Whether or not her efforts are intentional, some women can experience orgasm from imagery alone, a phenomenon more popularly referred to as “thinking off.” A woman literally thinks her way to orgasm with all of the “naughty” stuff going on her head!

Giventhedreamsandfantasiesbombardingtheaveragepreg- gie, becoming a whiz at spontaneous “O” can be a breeze. And since pregnancy tends to be an intensely spiritual and emotional time, “thinking off” can become a deeper, more pervasive expe- rience for most preggies.

In 1992 ten women ages thirty-two to sixty-seven were exam- ined to determine whether subjective claims of imagery-induced orgasm were accompanied by the same “physiological and per- ceptual events” usually included in genitally stimulated climax. The results of the study indicated that these women experienced significant increases in heart rate, systolic blood pressure, pupil

diameter, and pain detection and tolerance thresholds, whether usingself-inducedimageryorgenitalself-stimulation. Adding to the overwhelming physical evidence surrounding women’s ability to thinkthemselves to climax, later publications inthisareaofre- search also delve into the spiritual and emotional dimensions of spontaneous orgasm.

Nocturnal orgasm—
We typically equate nocturnal orgasm with

“wet dreams,” or a male’s sleep-cycle climax. Research conducted in 1983 found that a woman’s vaginal responses to vascular en- gorgement (the female version of penile erections) during REM (rapid-eye-movement) sleep actually occurred with a frequency equal to nocturnal penile erections in men. Furthermore, dur- ing non-REM sleep, a woman’s vaginal responses occurred more frequently than male penile erections. Everyone dreams about sex at onepointoranotherastheygettheirnightlyzzzzz’s, whether they’re consciously aware of it or not. For many women, preg- nant or otherwise, these dreams end pleasantly with nocturnal orgasm(s). The brain has become so turned on that it forces the body to experience the entire sexual response cycle.

The prospect of nocturnal orgasm for preggies is amplified by those sex dreams and fantasies mentioned earlier. Increase your chances of remembering your nocturnal climax if and when it does happen by practicing the following rituals: (1) think sexy thoughts before you go to bed by inviting scenarios that you may remember the next morning; (2) pursue lucid dreams as you’re dozing off, waking up, or partially awake during the lighter parts

of your sleep cycle. Most people are capable of lucid dreaming, which simply means remaining conscious of what you dream and mentally controlling the action that occurs in the dream. Heavy breathing and other classic physiological changes of wakeful or- gasm may not always take place during lucid dreaming, but your body will definitely feel warmer, calmer, and more rested after- ward. You shouldbeleftfeelingasthoughyou’ve just awokenfrom a nice, long nap. And what Hot Mama couldn’t use that?