Your Orgasmic Pregnancy (9 page)

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  What’s Going on with Your Partner
  

  With your budding belly in evidence, your partner probably feels appreciative of and awed by your efforts to bring your child into the world. Your partner loves your changing form and all it rep- resents. A male partner, in particular, loves that you’re carrying his seedling. He has claimed his territory and it’s his Hot Mama whom everyone is checking out! Because this is such a special time, it is no wonder that a study of over six hundred couples found that during T2 many couples focus on the internal workings of their partnership and retreat into their “coupledom.”
  

  for hot mamas
  

  it is especially important to own your thoughts and feelings with “I” statements. Start sentences with “I feel” or“I think.” Wepoint this out because, rather than representing your own true beliefs, much discomfort around this issue may actually stem from socie- tal or religious messages that have been dictated to you—and that don’texactly supportintimacyduringpregnancy. Using“I” state- ments will also make your conversation a much more personal and, therefore, valuable one.
  

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  Physical Changes During T2
  

  Before we dive into all of the fun stuff in store for you and your
  

  beloved during the second trimester, we need to deal with the ele- phant in the living room (no, not
  you
  , silly!). Let’s chat a bit about
  

  the major changes taking place within your body during this part of your pregnancy. During T2 your body undergoes a complete overhaul. Knowing exactly what’s happening will help you stay abreast of things before they catch you off guard.
  

  By the second trimester, defined as the thirteenth through twenty-seventh week of gestation, according to Dr. Meulenberg, you’ll likely find yourself either swearing at or reveling in (m)any of the following conditions:
  

  • a vagina dripping with moisture (due to higher estrogen levels), at times requiring constant use of panty liners
    
  • a swollen (read:
    gigantic
    ) clitoris
    
  • labia that throb with increased blood engorgement
    
  • emotionalhighsandlowsdue to increasedlevelsofestrogen and progesterone, resulting in heightened libido, intensi- fied physiological sensations, and emotional sensitivity
    
  • fatigue, absentmindedness, and moodiness due to an in- crease in progesterone, which has a relaxing effect on your central nervous system
    
  • nasal congestion
    
  • swelling of the extremities
    
  • leg cramps and varicose veins
    
  • bloating and gas
    
  • hemorrhoids
    
  • areolas that are deeper in color
    
  • breasts so big you may need to wear a comfortable bra 24/7
    
  • extreme nipple sensitivity
    
  • better skin tone
    

With all of the physical and emotional upheaval caused by these issues, for better or for worse, you may find yourself rewrit- ing your impression of who you are as a person, as a woman, and as a sexual being, especially when you consider how your sexu- ality has been rewired in so many ways. Your crown jewel is at its most active, with the potential to deliver more orgasms—and multi-orgasms—than ever. You’re wetter, hotter, and lustier, and you’re dying for proper sexual attention. As your little one makes itself at homeinyourbelly, youmayfindyourselfexaminingyour new role and trying to define what sort of (Hot Mama) parent you hope to be at both the societal and familial levels.

To top things off, obsessing over your increasing size may cause stress. Many women, even those with a reasonably positive body image, can succumb to the pressures of looking svelte dur- ing pregnancy, despite knowing that weight gain is healthy and normal. Addpowerfulfood cravings, whichrequireallyourwill- power to ward off, and you may find your Hot Mama self a little worse for the wear at times.

Having caved in to a craving once in a while, Danielle knows what it’s like to obsessforhoursoverthecaloriescontainedinafew extra Oreos. Still, self-confidence and attitude are everything in

What’s Going on with Your Partner

You may not be alone in your physical upheaval. Some men have been known to experience the joys of pregnancy during their part- ner’s pregnancy, a phenomenon termed couvade syndrome. Your partner may gain weight, experience nausea, undergo appetite changes (including cravings), and endure mood swings. Basi- cally, he experiences a “sympathetic pregnancy.” Up to 90 percent of dads are said to have this experience at some point during the nine months, especially in the last two trimesters. The only cure is birth.

for hot mamas

thesexgame, whetheryou’re pregnantornot, andyousimplyhave to learn to shut out that mental noise. Arm yourself with an arse- nal of healthy snacks and water to keep your cravings at bay. Blood sugarcandroprapidlyduringpregnancy, andbeingpreparedfor that is a trick you must master. Dr. Meulenberg explains, “Dur- ing pregnancy, the body has an increased resistance to insulin, the hormone that allows you to metabolize sugar. There is also an increased output of insulin during pregnancy. Pregnant women are at risk ofdevelopinggestational diabetes”—that is, pregnancy- related diabetes.

Being informed and having a game plan are vital to enjoying every aspect of your pregnancy.

How You Can Help Her

If your preggie is mired in negative attitudes about her changing form, be her personal cheerleader. She can never get enough posi- tive feedback, so tell her how beautiful, incredible, and sexy she is. Encourage sensual activity. Let her know that you want her now more than ever. Don’t be afraid to suggest getting sexy, as this can be one of the most effective ways of getting her whipped into proper Hot Mama mental form.

for partners

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Your Body as a Playground

Hot Mama, you have become a veritable sensual playground! For

many of you, T2 may be defined more than anything else by the chronic flow of blood to your genitals. A warning about genital engorgement: You’ll either love it or loathe it. There is very little middle ground when it comes to the hypersensitive hot zones of pregnancy. Either your fully engorged nipples and clit will bring delightfullyon-the-spotorgasmicopportunity, ortheywillbreed such irritation that you’ll want to scream. Plenty of women enjoy the all-day clitoral hard-on; others find it maddeningly distract- ing and annoying. Furthermore, the increased stimulation can cause climax-induced cramping, especially as your growing baby stretches the uterine wall and abdominal muscles.

It’s normal for a preggie to experience cramps during and up to a half hour after sex. These cramps may be caused by in-

creased blood flow to the abdomen, prostaglandins in her part- ner’s sperm, or emotional issues. If you are concerned that your crampingmaybeexcessiveorabnormal(seeboxbelow), besure to consult a health-care practitioner before making love again.

Throughout Danielle’s pregnancy, multiple orgasms would result in sometimes disturbing levels of postcoital cramping. Given her familiarity with the sexual response cycle, these in- stances were less troublesome than they may have been to some- one less knowledgeable. By surrendering to the cramping sensa- tion rather than cringing and fearing it, she was able to achieve a unique pleasure/pain cycle that helped her later in the delivery room.

Learning early to breathe through cramping sensations can be excellent practice for early labor, a time when you need to sur- render to the experience of riding the waves of contractions. Your body is taking you on a trip, and being present for the jour- ney without trying to control it can heighten your capacity for pleasure. Remember the law of opposites—pain and pleasure are

on opposite ends of the same spectrum. They are closely related in the sense that giving in to one can heighten the other. Feeling completely at ease with postorgasmic cramping takes mental con- ditioning, practice, and a lot of self-talk, but it’s worth it. Fortu- nately, in most cases, these pains are merely irritating rather than debilitating.

Don’t get freaked out if your baby gets active during or soon after you’ve climaxed. A fetus often responds to the uterine con- tractions of orgasm by kicking and moving about. Danielle’s son, Brando, would become quite active as she approached climax, to the point of near-distraction, but it was always worth staying the course. Brando’s acrobatics actually made the sensations stronger for Danielle, possibly because her uterus was working overtime to get her to the big O.