Female Ejaculation (2 page)

Do you get the idea that we really care about your sex life? You’re right, we really, really do.

Unfortunately, most of the so-called civilized world disagrees with our views. We regularly receive referrals from highly trained therapists who are too shy to deal with sexual issues. In fact, too many medical doctors scoff at proven sexual realities like female ejaculation.

This explains why the average lover doesn’t know more about their own orgasms.

Is female gushing a new thing? Not in the least. Female ejaculation was well-known and revered in Ancient India thousands of years ago. The Chinese, Japanese, Arabians, Greeks, Africans, Pacific Islanders, and Native Americans all knew about it. Ancient Chinese texts make many references to a woman’s “water flowing.” Shunga art in 16th century Japan celebrates it in graphic detail.

Western historical references began as early as the 4th century B.C. by Aristotle. Galen, the father of modern medicine, wrote about it in the 2nd century A.D. Interestingly, even William Shakespeare makes reference to “the water of my love.”

The first modern description of female ejaculation came in 1672 by the Dutch physiologist, Regnier DeGraaf. He wrote that during the sexual act, the G-spot discharges a fluid so copiously that it even flows outside the vagina. He explained where it comes from and explained that the “rushing out” of this fluid “with impetus” and “in one gush” causes as much pleasure for women as ejaculation does for men.

Where exactly is the G-spot? Generally speaking, it’s a highly sensitive area on the front or upper wall of the vagina. The term
G-spot
was coined by Ladas, Whipple, and Perry in their 1982 book,
The G-spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality
. They named the G-spot after Ernst Gräfenberg, M.D., who first wrote about this “new” orgasmic trigger in a scientific journal in 1950.

By the way, Gräfenberg didn’t call it a spot — and rightly so. It’s an area that exists in different places depending upon the woman. And it moves. Maybe that’s why it’s often called the “secret orgasmic trigger” and why this doorway to gushing orgasms is an enigma to so many. But this area that we call the G-spot contains the power to unleash hidden emotions, generate deep orgasms, and trigger ejaculation when it is aroused enough. How’s that for both complex and powerful?

Though G-spot is a modern term, undoubtedly the ancients were aware of the super-sensitive parts inside the vagina. They were certainly aware of female ejaculation. There are references to the female expulsion of fluid with orgasm as early as the Kama Sutra.

It wasn’t until about 400 years ago that a Dutch anatomist, Regnier De Graaf, clearly defined the glands and ducts that make up the G-spot. He said they were analogous to the male prostate. This started a scientific trend of referring to the G-spot as the female prostate.

In 1880, Alexander Skene, M.D. extensively studied and illustrated the glands and ducts that comprise the “female prostate.” To this day, some refer to this part of a woman’s anatomy as Skene’s glands. It wasn’t until 1953 that an urologist named Samuel Berkow concluded that this tissue inside the vagina could fill with blood and become erect, similar to a penis or your nipples.

More current research beginning in the 1980s concluded that the Skene’s glands are small, functional organs that possess cells comparable to the male prostate gland and secrete similar fluids.

So, when you feel the G-spot, you’re feeling these glands beneath the skin of the vagina’s upper wall.

About the turn of the 20th century, Freud was generating his own revolution about the nature of sexuality. He said there were two kinds of female orgasm: clitoral and vaginal. Freud convinced many that clitoral
orgasms were immature. According to him, it took a real woman to have a vaginal orgasm.

In contrast, pioneering sex researchers like Kinsey in the 1950s and Masters and Johnson in the 1960s believed that women were only capable of having clitoral orgasms. The good news is that these findings inspired vibrator-wielding feminists to teach women that they could develop their orgasmic potential. The bad news is that many people ignored the G-spot as a valuable source of female sexual pleasure.

Fortunately, the pendulum began to swing back in 1982 when the G-spot book was published. Public consciousness, fueled by scientific research and growing comfort with the sexual revolution, opened to these other orgasmic triggers.

Don’t expect your family doctor or even your OB/GYN to know very much about sex. In most medical schools, the training devoted to sexuality is either non-existent or minimal. A few medical schools increased their emphasis on sexuality in the 1970s and 1980s, but many of them have cut back since then. So, it’s no surprise that the controversies over the existence of the G-spot, different kinds of orgasms, and female ejaculation continue to this day in the medical community. In fact, the majority of physicians we’ve met over the years don’t accept that female ejaculation is even possible. Of course, we beg to differ!

It’s only since the late 1990s that medical researchers began to seriously consider that female sexuality differs from male sexuality. At last, serious investigation into the unique sexual anatomy and physiology of women is under way, and what you will read in this book is based on the most recent findings.

Yes, male-dominated science finds it difficult to describe female sexuality with simple linear models and reproducible formulas. The fundamental fact that continually appears in our reading, research, and client work is that
every woman is different
. Although there are some general commonalities, each woman has her own inclinations, preferences, and even her own kinds of orgasms.

Your pleasures, sensitivities, and climaxes differ based on factors within and without: your anatomy, hormone levels, mood, level of arousal, connection to your partner, openness to passion, acceptance of her own sexuality, and where you are in your monthly cycle.

But never fear: your G-spot is alive and well and living inside. When you discover exactly what it wants, it can shower you and your lover with delicious peaks of pleasure and sweet female ejaculate.

As our title suggests, female ejaculation is our primary objective here. We’re going to prove to you that it’s quite common, feels wonderful, and is great to learn. And no, female ejaculate is
not
urine. (In fact, Jeffre had to talk Somraj out of using “tastes great, less filling” here.)

A significant percentage of women already know they gush, squirt, or dribble when they orgasm. Some researchers theorize that all women ejaculate when they orgasm, although for some, this may only be a few drops.

Some women ejaculate only with G-spot stimulation. Others may ejaculate with either G-spot or clitoral stimulation. Some let loose only when both are stimulated. You’ll certainly want to play with them all and discover what works for you!

Female ejaculation sounds a little bit clinical, though, doesn’t it? We like to keep things simple, but sometimes we just have to use terms that turn us on more. So, we often refer to ejaculating as “letting the waters flow” and female ejaculate fluid as “divine nectar of the receiver.” Now, isn’t that more exotic and erotic?

When Somraj was a chemist, he learned to document everything about scientific experiments in laboratory notebooks. You might want to use a similar approach while reading this book.

To raise self-awareness, many readers find great benefit in recording their thoughts, reactions, and discoveries in a personal journal dedicated to sexual exploration. We suggest you get one right away. Then, as you read this book, you can jot down what you agree with, what makes a strong impact on you, and what doesn’t jive with your experience.

When you do the practices sandwiched throughout the book, you’re bound to learn a great deal about your body, your sexuality, and yourself. Capturing your adventures offer valuable insight as you progress and
help you remember important discoveries. You don’t want to have a gushing orgasm only to forget how you got there! Journaling becomes an invaluable tool when you choose to communicate to a lover what you’ve learned about pleasuring your G-spot.

During all the practices in this training program, we don’t expect or encourage complete instant transformation. So, writing down what happened can help you pick up where you left off next time. The G-spot and female ejaculation can even push emotional buttons and raise issues buried deep inside. You’ll want to take some breaks to process what comes up, clear the decks, and integrate what dawns on you throughout this process.

To energize your journaling, you’ll find discussion questions similar to the following spread throughout the book. You can answer the questions and/or write whatever comes to you. If you’re anything like the average couple, talking about sex isn’t the easiest thing to do. Those who go through this program with a partner find that these questions are great ways to stimulate honest intimate communication.

Female Ejaculation
is full of frank, accurate, up-to-date information about your sexual landscape, including a detailed description of female sexual anatomy. More importantly, we have richly punctuated the pages with hands-on exercises and practices you can use to quickly teach yourself these powerful sexual skills. Along the way, you’ll undoubtedly drop negative sexual attitudes, release inhibitions, and awaken dormant responses.