Healing Faith (39 page)

"You look better now though,” he continued. “Once we
tell your dad about how he hit you, everything will be all
right."

"He who? You hit me, Sean," I said, backing up into
the side of the door at the flash of his eyes, threatening to throw
the switch to the monster inside.

"We're not going to tell him that though, are we? He
hit you, Kate. And I took you away. You're coming back home. Things
will be good again. Your dad will be so happy to see you back with
me. You're safe now," he said, nodding to himself as he spoke.

"I'm not going to say that, Sean," I said
heatedly.

He laughed low in his throat. The look he gave me
sent a cold chill through me.

"You're going to say what I tell you to say," he
hissed. "See, I know all about your little farm boy. I saw you with
him. I watched you, with him. I watched you at his house. Did you
like playing happy little homemaker for him, Kate? You let him
touch you. You think I'll let that go?"

I sat there, frozen as I listened to him. His eyes
burned as he looked out over the road.

"You're mine, Kate. Not his. You're coming back to
stay, and your dad will believe me when I tell him you were seduced
into some cult by him. You're going to tell him I saved you from
him. Because if you don't, I'll make sure that farm boy has a
little accident. I've got friends there, Kate. He's not well liked
by my friends. It would be easy for them. Buggy accident, or maybe
he falls off a barn roof. Easy. Look at how I got to you, and you
weren’t alone," he spouted, grinning at the last.

I couldn't speak for fear of crying.

Sean was threatening Nathan.

He had seen us together. He had made friends,
undoubtedly with Jeff and Joanna. Would they really hurt Nathan?
What about Benjamin? Surely he wouldn't hurt his friend? I couldn't
know. I really didn't know them.

"You understand, Kate?" he asked darkly. "You get it?
You play happy-to-be-home-Kate and everything will be fine. You
don't, and I hurt him."

I stared at him, terrified.

"GOT IT?" he screamed, his eyes commanding.

I nodded and remained quiet.

He laughed and relaxed his grip on the wheel once
more.

"We'll forget about all of this, Kate. You'll be
better now that you're away from them. He won't come looking for
you. Wouldn't even hit me he was such a coward. Can't believe you
fell for someone weak like that. I can protect you, Kate. And
that's what your dad will believe," he continued like he had to
convince himself.

I had no doubt Sean would protect me. Possess me. And
hurt me. I had to think of how to get away again, to tell my father
so he would believe me. But he would need undeniable proof. He
would need evidence. Sean’s father would insist on it so he could
deny any wrongdoing. Or they’d cover it up so as to avoid scandal.
Otherwise it would be my word against Sean's.

I glanced his way, my eyes zeroing in on his arms as
they strained against the steering wheel. Scratches ran up and down
his arms, scabbed and jagged. I remember clawing at him.

Were those from me?

I looked away and glanced down at my hands, still
dirty from yesterday. Fingernails blackened from digging into
something. Could I still have evidence on me? Or was it just the
dirt from the garden? How long did evidence like that survive?
Could I finally have irrefutable proof, more than my word?

"Things will be better, Kate. You'll see. Because I
love you so much it hurts," he said, startling me to look back up
at him.

He was grinning, happy as a clam. His Jekyll and Hyde
switched again. Unfazed by me, beaten and disheveled beside
him.

"We'll tell Mr. Hill I took you away from all that,
Kate. Took you away from him. I took care of you," he repeated, as
if trying to drill it into me.

"Say it, Kate."

I swallowed down the bile.

"Say it."

"You took care of me," I whispered.

He pulled me to him and kissed me on the top of the
head, wrapping his arm around me protectively as he drove through
the redwoods.

"I took care of you," he repeated happily into my
hair.

I sat there, uncomfortably folded up into his side
while his heavy hand brushed my head absently. I needed to get my
father to believe me. I had no idea how I was going to do that.

The familiar surroundings of the coast came into view
ahead of us. I sat there in a suffocating haze, trapped under
Sean's arm. He chattered on about going to see his friends at the
university, taking me out for dinner and the movies, and asking my
dad to make it official. He spoke like nothing had ever happened.
Like the circumstances of the last month didn't exist.

I stayed silent and watched the world pass by; a
world that I recognized but wanted no part of. I watched cars and
cargo trucks beside us, had felt a pang of loss when we passed some
of the dairy farms inland, and then the fog of the coast engulfed
us and the sun was gone.

I shivered at the dark oppressive feel of this place,
no longer home. I refused to acknowledge him when Sean offered me
his sweatshirt. I would rather embrace the cold than smell of him.
I concentrated instead on figuring out how to get away again. To
somehow find my way back to the town somewhere in rural Iowa.

I didn’t even know where in Iowa he was.

Nathan.

I swallowed and closed my eyes to the rolling grey
and the town as we passed through. It was not mine any longer. Mine
was far away. I missed the heat and the green fields.

I missed home.

Nathan.

What was he thinking?

Was he okay?

I pondered that while the last few miles sped past,
taking me one step closer to the life I had run from, and a father
that would take Sean’s word over mine. I was once again in my
prison. We pulled up to my old house, the grey siding even more
foreboding in the lackluster afternoon sunlight. My old Suburban
looked like it was still in the same place I had left it, and my
father’s freshly washed sedan parked neatly in the driveway.
Everything was foreign to me.

I stepped out of the car before Sean could come
around for me. He pursed his lips and pulled me roughly to him, his
mouth close to my ear. The bite of his fingertips along my hip made
me wince.

"Remember, I saved you from him, Kate. Remember what
I told you. Think about what I can do if you don’t," he whispered
close.

He pulled me up short and hugged me tight, his grip
almost unbearable.

"You're mine, Kate. Remember that. Your dad wants
that. My dad wants that. Think about how upset they'll be. How it
will mess up everything they worked for," he said once more.

The door opened, and as Sean pulled away, my father
came rushing out of the house. I was surprised to see my sister
Stacy close behind him, coming straight for me.

"Kate!” she cried out and grabbed me, pulling me into
her arms and out of Sean's.

I felt her arms wrap around me and hold me tightly. I
stood there numbly, shocked that she was here. I only had a moment
before my father was reaching for me, his unfamiliar hug jarring me
out of my shock. He pulled away and looked down at me worriedly.
His eyes took in the bruises on my face, at the cuts that had not
yet faded. Normally all show and smiles to the public eye, his grey
eyes seemed stormy when he looked me over. He looked like he had
aged years, his brown hair peppered with a lot more grey.

Everything was grey here.

Even my sister’s usually bright demeanor was deadened
as I glanced at her while our father held me tight. Her normally
warm brown eyes were dull and the circles under them told me she
hadn’t slept in probably days. I instantly felt the weight of guilt
at having pulled her back into this life.

Had she come back just because of me?

"What happened, Katie? Who did this to you?" my
father asked, his voice disbelieving as he looked from me to
Sean.

I took a breath. Torn to tell him or not. Everything
in my body told me this was the moment of truth. I paused, mouth
open. I watched as Sean's eyes, so full of confidence one second,
faltered.

"Kate," Sean whispered warningly.

"Kate?" my sister asked, suspicion clear on her face.
My heart hammered in my chest, fear for Nathan weighing out any
fear I had for myself.

Would he really be able to hurt Nathan?

Please God, keep him safe.

"I don't feel well. Can you just take me inside,
Dad," I said, stalling for time. I needed him alone if this was
going to work at all.

Sean had other plans.

"Yeah, we should take you inside, Kate. You've had a
difficult time. What with that guy hurting you and everything," he
said, staring me down to force me to say his lies.

Always his lies.

"What guy?” my sister asked, her voice steely before
she looked to me. “Kate, tell us what happened? What guy?"

Sean stepped close and held my father’s shoulder,
like a buddy breaking bad news.

"This guy she was with. He hit her, Mr. Hill. I got
there before he could do anything else, but he's bad news!" Sean
explained.

"Is this true, Katie?" my dad asked, turning to me.
Sean so easily swayed him.

I closed my eyes, feeling my jaw tighten at the
notion of lying. I would not say that it was Nathan.

Never.

"Thou shalt not bear false witness," I whispered,
feeling my heart tighten at the thought that I could very well hurt
Nathan by standing up now. I opened my eyes to see Sean's own
harden.

"What was that? Kate, you look sick. Maybe I should
take you to the hospital," my sister suggested, pulling me gently
from my father’s arm, and away from Sean as he tensed near me.

I held Sean's intimidating stare, willing myself to
be brave enough to stand up to him. I needed my father to believe.
But just the thought of Sean going after anyone else made my whole
body shudder in fear.

"Kate, come on. I'll take you to the hospital," Sean
said suddenly.

Sean stepped forward, causing me to flinch in towards
the only comfort I had at the moment, into my sister’s side.
Stacy’s hands pulled me a little closer, tightening around me. My
father blocked me from Sean looking confused, glancing from me to
Sean trying to read us.

"Sean. I think you better go home, son. I'm grateful
for you bringing her home, but we should get Katie checked out. We
can take care of this," he said in that voice he used when he
addressed his opponents.

Sean watched me for a second, his mouth open to
argue.

"Go home, Sean. You father is worried about you.
Katie's home, that's all that's important," my father said, his
voice level.

There was no room for Sean to argue. With my sister
and father there staring him down, all he could do was leave. Sean
took one last look at me, the stern meaning clear in his eyes,
before backing away and jumping in his car. I let out a soft breath
as his car disappeared down the street.

My knees weakened at the thought of what I had just
done.

"Katie? Honey, are you all right?" my father asked
tentatively. I looked up to see the concern in his eyes, something
I had rarely seen in the last few years, but something seemed to
have struck him since I had left.

Or it was because finally, I stood before him bearing
proof of something he had long ignored.

"No. No, I'm not," I whispered and struggled to
remain standing.

All the fear of retaliation, the fear that Sean was
on the phone right that minute calling in his attack on Nathan, I
was dizzy and sick. I felt their hands hold me up, my sister
helping me into the car, and I closed my eyes when I heard the car
start. I kept my eyes closed as I felt us move out.

"Where are we going?" I asked wearily.

"To the hospital. I want to get you checked out. We
need to deal with this," my father said, his voice gravelly as he
tried to remain calm.

"Deal with this? How are you going to deal with
this?" I croaked, the anxiety of Sean's actions slowly winning
over.

I needed to get away; back to Nathan before anything
happened to him because of me. My dad let out a strangled sort of
noise, shaking his head slowly.

"I can't really make sense of anything right now,
Katie. You're home. But look at you? Sean brought you home like
this? And you were with some guy? Did this guy do this to you?" he
asked, glancing at me with that uncomfortable expression he wore
when we had family talks.

"Nathan didn't do this," I whispered.

He let out an angry breath and smacked the top of the
steering wheel hard, making me jump.

"Why would Sean say that, then? Who the hell is this
Nathan? Where the hell have you been this last month? No calls,
nothing! Sean called me every single day to give me an update. But
you? You didn't even consider how your little trip might affect
things here? You just thought you could vanish? For what? A boy?
When Sean is heartbroken? You don't think about others, Katie!
Stacy was worried. I was worried. You just disappeared. I just… I
just don't know what to think," he mumbled and continued to look
ahead at the road.

"Believe your daughter, that's what you should
think," I murmured and turned into the door of the car, away from
him.

"I want to believe you, Katie. I just need you to
open up your damned mouth and talk. Who did this? Sean loves you,"
he insisted, looking intently at me.

Would he listen? He never had before. I looked at
him, trying to judge the level of irritation. He was plenty
irritated which meant he would think I was lying. He wouldn't want
to hear he was wrong all this time.

“Dad,” Stacy interjected from the back seat, “Let her
tell the nurses that. And you should call Deputy Stevens.”

"Why Deputy Stevens? Sean’s father is a Deputy
Sheriff!” he exclaimed, the harshness of his voice forcing me to
shrink into the side of the car.