In a Latitude of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 5) (24 page)
Read In a Latitude of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 5) Online
Authors: Ichabod Temperance
“That’s good, Miss Vampyrellah, Ma’am. I reckon it’s a race to the chasm’s opening to the ocean now. We’re moving like a fish through water now, which I guess we are, but I can sure ’nough hear that big feller up above hustling along to make one last attempt to cut us off. Look there, Miss Plumtartt! P.T. Piston has got him a mess of his seal buddies out trying to move the icestacle, but it don’t look like it’s a wanting to give.”
Eee
-Aye-
rRoark!!!
“Dang! That ol’ no good Cogito copy cat is standing right over the channel’s exit! We’re a heading right for him!”
“Indeed, Mr. Temperance, for as the legendary Colossus of Rhodes straddled his harbour entrance, so too does this titan straddle our channel chasm intending to thwart our escape, I say.”
“Quickly, everyone below deck!”
“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Vampyrellah!”
“Fill the ballast! Dive, dive, dive! Seal those hatches! Get this ship underwater!”
“Aye, aye, m’ scantily clad booty o’ couommand, tee, hee!”
“I mean to ram that iceberg while submerged. This vessel is now up to full speed. My large, suggestive prong affixed to the front of this craft will forcefully drive that cork from this icy bottleneck. All hands brace for impact!”
kooooge,
juh,,
juh,,,
juh,,,,
juh...
“Aye! The icebourg has relented. Wae bae freae!”
---
“Oh, you take the high road,”
“And Oye’ll take the low road,”
“And Oye’ll bae in Alabama, a’fore, ye.”
“For Icksy and his true love,”
“The blushing beauty, Persephone Plouomtartt,”
“Will bae spoonin’ along the banks, o’ Loch Lo-gan.”
“Sss, sss, sss!
I sure do like this funny Scotsman’s singing, don’t you, Bhjrghjtt?”
“Enheh, no, Ierjghjnnhjgei, I don’t. I don’t like this boat, his singing, or this job. When we get back to civilization, I am saying goodbye to you and everybody else. I am going to move to the country and say good bye to city life forever!”
“Gee, uh, that’s too bad, Bhjrghjtt, ’cause uh, I was gonna ask you if you knew of a place for a,”
“Sunny Day,”
“I’m drivin’ the, fog a-way,”
“You and I might, skip and play,”
“A place that, can’t, be, beat,”
“Would’ya tell me how’ta get,”
“How’ta get to...”
“Enheh. Sunny day? We’ve been working the night shift for so long, I’ve forgotten what a sunny day looks like.”
“Maybe we could go halvsies on an apartment, Bhjrghjtt?”
“Enheh. I’ll think about it, Ierjghjnnhjgei.”
Sss, sss, sss.
Yeah, you go on and think about it, Bhjrghjtt. I bet I could come with years’ worth of practical jokes at your expense. Hmm, I wonder what’s going on with the higher pay salary types?
“Oh, you take the high road,”
“And Oye’ll take the low road,”
“Count OnyxUla and our Trevor”
“Share a mairderous, fix-aaaaa-tion.”
“For they bear a hatred, that never will depart,”
“As we approach Buenos Aires, faer disembarkation.”
“Oui! Monsieur Steele is correct. I beg of you and all, let us continue our truce for an extended forty-eight hours after disembarking the ‘
Nautilust’
in Buenos Aires so that we may all safely exit each other’s charming company, oui?”
“Hear, hear, I say, that sounds quite reasonable.”
“Ha, ha! I agree! In the spirit of finding ourselves continuing to exist, I too recommend this modest addendum, ha, ha!”
“Well, what do you know, Miss Plumtartt? We seem to have survived another extraordinary adventure, Ma’am.”
“Indeed, Mr. Temperance. I admit to being pleasantly surprised at both our being alive, and our planet intact. Perhaps the small indulgence of a celebratory kiss would be in order, eh hem?”
“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am!”
mnk, mnk, mnk
“What will happen to the ice giant? He is a tenacious, frosty flake.”
mnk, mnk, mnk
whirr, bzz, clink
“I have been pondering this same thing. It seems that Count Drauchulau foresaw the problem of winding the creature’s spring, one of his few true metallic components. Whereas my own spring winder is most inconveniently placed on my back, so that I must rely on others to keep me properly wound, the brilliant Count Drauchulau had his spellbound scientists and engineers reposition ‘Bizzarito’s’ spring and winding key to an accessible position. Theoretically, he could be operational a hundred years or more from now, still wandering the trackless wastes, searching for a hapless victim on which to vent his colossal rage.”
“Oh, you take the high road,”
“And Oye’ll take the low road,”
“Bizzarito will still bae limping upon hiiiiiis stump.”
“Faer the creature will ever be searching”
“Faer some ounlouocky explorer tae tear apart,”
“On the frozen and barren wastes, o’ NonArctica.”
FIN?
Hello, Dear Reader!
Thank you so much for having shared in our adventure!
Cheers!
Happy Reading!
Your pals,
Icky and Miss Plumtartt
More from the world of Ichabod and Persephone:
The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance
(Volume One of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Two of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Three of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Four of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Five of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Six of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
The Seventh Voyage of Temperance
(Volume Seven of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Eight of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
available in print and for Amazon Kindle at Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com