Authors: Somraj Pokras

Female Ejaculation (35 page)

BOOK: Female Ejaculation

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PRACTICE:
HEALING HOT SPOTS

This practice can be added into a vagina healing session if you find a hot spot that doesn’t seem to release or remain cleared. If you set up a separate session to focus on specific hot spots, don’t simply dive into the vagina until the receiver is relaxed, settles into body sensations, and opens her energy channels.

The more skilled the receiver is at using the four cornerstones of breath, sound, movement, and presence, the more powerful the cleansing will be, and the deeper the breaths, the more she’ll be able to release. This is why a vital part of vaginal healing is for the receiver to breathe into numb, sore, or burning spots, especially in the face of strong emotions, to encourage energy release.

To speed up the healing process, use the four cornerstones in the face of any strong emotions or cathartic reactions. Recognize that venting, screaming, thrashing, sobbing, or anger are prompted by earlier traumas that have been awakened. Work together to clear the energy, and the force of the imprint will cease to have any affect on the receiver.

The stronger the emotional reaction of the receiver, the more vital that the receiver breathe and that the giver remain present with eye contact.

1.
PREPARE WITH THE FIVE S’S

Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.

Discuss Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries — in the moment. Agree on any signals or alert words.

2.
STIMULATING

Caress your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if she wants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As she heats up, concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forget to ask permission before touching the vagina and clitoris. Be sure to use your communication skills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until the receiver is highly aroused and wet.

3.
PROBING THE VAGINA

Giver, with permission, approach and enter the vagina as described in the previous vagina healing practice steps 3 through 6.

Use slow penetration, rotating through the clock positions as you did before. You can’t assume that the landscape of hot spots inside the vagina will be the same as the last time, but if you return to work some affected areas that weren’t completely cleared, you may want to move toward them more quickly than before. For example, you could enter one finger joint at a time instead of one-half and stop at only 6 positions around the clock instead of 12.

4.
BREATHING INTO HOT SPOTS

Giver, when you contact a hot spot, guide your beloved to use the four cornerstones by saying, “Breathe into my finger. Move your pelvis around as you want. Make sounds that express what you’re feeling. I’m here to support you.”

5.
FLOW ENERGY

Receiver, make sounds that seem to describe what you’re feeling — loud, guttural, animal. These will encourage the energy flow. Visualize the painful energy flowing out along with your exhalation. You can even use PC pumps to exercise the affected areas.

6.
ENCOURAGE THE FLOW

Giver, you can assist the energy release by breathing and sounding along with your partner.

7.
PLEASURE DOWN

When you agree that you’ve done enough clearing for one session, consider ending on a high note as discussed in the previous practice if the receiver desires. Focus on the most pleasurable areas of the vagina with the four cornerstones. Orgasm is a sweet way to seal the entire vagina healing experience, but it isn’t necessary.

When you’re finished, withdraw slowly. Then, cover the vulva with one hand and the receiver’s heart with your other hand. Cover her with a blanket. If she desires, lie in each other’s arms, spoon, hug, comfort, or cradle her body. Lie together in silence, or sweetly share the experience while holding each other.

8.
CLOSING

When you’re ready to end the practice, close your sacred space. You can discuss what happened if you prefer, or you can wait until later after things have settled. If you choose, bathe together, but be sure to drink lots of water. We encourage the receiver not to run off to do something right away. Relax, and allow the process to unfold of its own accord.

Ecstasy is your birthright. Each of us came into this world knowing how to feel ecstatic just by breathing. The practices in this chapter can help you release blocks and inhibitions by experiencing and increasing the flow of orgasmic energy. This is the best way we know to experience a full, ecstatic sexual life, including that wonderful flow of fluid we call female ejaculation.

CHAPTER 7

ECSTATIC STATES

“The essential thing is not to chase after ecstasy. It arises naturally if your presence in the world remains relaxed, without goals and constraints — free, opened, and light.”

— FROM
TANTRIC QUEST
BY DANIEL ODIER

YOU’RE HERE FOR ECSTASY
MORE OPTIONS

Besides achieving female ejaculation, the purpose of this book is to offer you more options for sensational ecstasy. Certainly, you could just try more fiddling and diddling or simple “friction sex.” But more often than not, untrained male lovers push for more and stronger stimulation, only to ejaculate too soon. Their women feel that something’s missing. Or worse, they feel used. Isn’t there something more?

Yes, there is. This chapter is about using your G-spot to create higher levels of ecstasy.

Ecstasy is intense joy, delight, and elated bliss. An extraordinary elevation of the spirit by overwhelming emotion so intense that you’re carried away beyond the reach of rational thoughts and ordinary impressions.

PUMP YOUR PLEASURE BALLOON

We’re going to use sexual friction for sure, but you’re going to learn to include awakening the heart, the mind, the emotions, and the spirit. You’re going to learn to open your subtle energy system to these powerful physical life forces. In this way, you’ll enliven your body and mind and connect more deeply with your beloved.

We’re going to teach you to create increasingly more physical excitement using G-spot play while juicing up other zones, including the clitoris. To get there, we cultivate extended pleasure instead of focusing on orgasm as the climax of the performance. That doesn’t mean that you won’t experience intense orgasms in the process.

How does this seeming contradiction occur? You experience the highest levels of ecstasy when you’re completely relaxed in a high state of arousal. Concentrating, aiming, and pushing for the Big O prevents this. So, as we’ve explained, if you savor every last bit of sensation, the orgasm will come to you.

You’re going to be actively playing with your pleasure balloon, that imaginary energy bubble inside you that limits and controls your capacity to feel. At rest, your pleasure balloon is collapsed around your genitals. As you get excited, your balloon expands.

Instead of letting sexual arousal build quickly and explode locally, you’re going to learn to pump the energy into your pleasure balloon. The more you do this, the lighter you’ll feel, and the higher you’ll float.

By the way, the more you practice, the bigger your bubble will stretch. The more you exercise your pleasure balloon, the more flexible it becomes, the easier it expands, and the larger it can get. This means that you feel more and get higher and higher. Literally, the sky’s the limit.

UNDERSTANDING ORGASM

How do scientists define orgasm (as if you need a definition)? When you become sexually aroused, your sensitive zones swell with blood, your muscles tense, and your breathing deepens and speeds up as your heart rate increases. Orgasm occurs when that muscle tension is released at the peak of excitement accompanied by pulsations in your pelvis. Masters and Johnson found about 12 contractions within 10 seconds was the norm. Then, your metabolism slowly returns to normal.

Does that fit with your experience? We bet you could add to that clinical description very colorfully. Scientists often forget to mention that it also feels great, uplifts your emotions, stops time, alters your consciousness, and creates an intimate merging with your beloved and sometimes, the whole universe. Let’s not forget that it makes you healthier, too.

If we’re not going to push for orgasms, why should you care about understanding them in greater depth?

To most people, successful sex means having one or more great orgasms. Sadly, many women struggle with climaxing, especially during intercourse. Having spent years trying to help women come during intercourse, Somraj can attest to that. As we noted before, many men have their climax too soon for their partners to be satisfied.

PLAYING WITH ORGASMIC ENERGY

Because most lovers don’t understand how to cultivate, circulate, and conserve the energy of orgasm, this chapter was born. When you learn how to play with orgasmic energy, you can make it last, feel it all over your body, and let it take you higher and higher. Then you’ll feel as if you’re having full-body climaxes over and over continuously. We often call this the O-Zone.

When we first started to work with orgasmic energy during the mid- 90s, neither of us were multi-orgasmic. Like many other women, Jeffre’s orgasms required effort. It took too much work to go for more than one. She was never aware of ejaculating. Like most men, Somraj couldn’t separate orgasm from ejaculation, so he usually came rather quickly.

Realizing how much we were missing gave us strong motivation to learn about pleasure, ecstasy, and orgasm. Dancing in this powerful sexual life force is an art form. It’s the highest form of intimacy, personal creativity, and self-love.

NORMAL SEX

With “normal” sex, we usually go for maximum turn-on until we quickly explode in a blaze of glory. Then, relaxation returns for awhile until the biological forces build up again. Men take awhile to recover. The average is 19 minutes in young men, and it gets progressively longer as they age. Some women also need to recover after an explosive clitoral orgasm.

Although the explosion feels good, hasty men often roll over immediately after sex and leave their partners wanting more. The promise of orgasmic energy is that you can both reach ecstatic states that feel sensationally better and last and last. The average “normal” lover doesn’t have any idea what they’re missing.

Don’t push for the release of energy, but savor every drop. Conserve and cherish it, spreading it around your body just the way you would roll a sip of expensive aged wine around your mouth. That’s where the ecstasy lies, beyond the G-spot, and what this chapter will teach you.

EXERCISE:
ORGASM DISCUSSION QUESTIONS