Healing Faith (28 page)

I moved to the edge, smiling as he held his hands out
to me. I let him pull me off, enjoying the feel of his fingers
around my waist again. He held me for a moment, his head dipping
down to kiss me tenderly along the lips before drawing away. His
fingers lingered along my waist, and I could feel his thumbs skirt
across my hipbones slowly, warming me further.

His hands felt right against me like that.

We walked hand in hand towards the house. As we
passed the barn, I had to wonder about Emma. She would be in
trouble as well. Nathan seemed to understand.

"Emma is waiting for you up by the porch. They only
just left the barn," he whispered, grinning when I let out a
surprised gasp.

Well, Emma has some explaining to do!

Sure enough, Emma and John were sitting in the swing
by the back door, talking softly until we neared. As soon as we
were on the porch John stood and made to leave. He leaned down and
squeezed Emma's hand once more before turning to Nathan and me.

"A pleasant day, yes?" he asked, fighting back a
grin.

"A pleasant day, to be sure," Nathan replied, holding
my hand a little tighter to temper the laughter I felt bubbling
up.

Glancing over at Emma, she was fighting hard to keep
from giggling.

"There is a gathering this week at the old farm. We
could all go together. Katherine has never been to a gathering,"
John continued, glancing my way.

I felt Nathan's body tense beside me before he shook
his head.

"I do not think it would be something to experience.
It is not the best time to explore that way. Thank you for the
invitation," Nathan said coolly.

I didn't understand the sudden shift. Nathan and John
seemed to be close. The idea of another outing seemed exciting. But
I remained quiet as the two men exchanged silent words. Glancing at
Emma again, I saw the irritation on her face.

"Let me know if you change your minds. I have a
friend who can take us," John said and nodded towards Emma before
stepping off into the night.

"Come, Katherine. We need to go inside. Nathan, thank
you for your help today," Emma said, her voice much harsher than I
had ever heard towards Nathan.

He nodded and stepped away from me, retreating down
the steps slowly.

I was utterly confused by the polar shift in
everyone.

"Pleasant night, Emma. Kate. I will see you in the
morning. Thank you for a wonderful day," he murmured and retreated
back into the night, refusing to look back.

I wheeled around towards Emma.

"What just happened? Everyone was so happy!"

She rolled her eyes at me and put her fingers to her
lips, guiding me into the dark house. I was surprised no one was up
to wait for us. We tiptoed into our room and stripped quickly, both
of us giggling quietly over the sudden appearance of hay on the
floor as we shook out our dresses to hang up. Abigail snorted in
bed and turned on her side, still asleep.

Slipping into bed, Emma finally let out a frustrated
breath when I asked again about what had happened on the porch.

"Nathan!" she hissed. "He is such a righteous and
stubborn man!"

I raised my eyebrow at her and chuckled.

If she had seen him kissing me earlier, maybe she
wouldn't think that.

She huffed and continued.

"The gathering John talked about is part of our
Rumspringa. Nathan refuses to go because he is afraid. It does not
make sense, not with you here now to show him!" she groused.

"I don’t understand. It’s a party?" I asked,
confused.

"In a way, yes. It is a chance for us to experience
some of your world. There is music and dancing, we can wear what we
want. It is the only time we can do this. I do not understand why
Nathan would not want to experience that with you," she
continued.

I wasn't sure I wanted to see Nathan experience
anything in my world.

Maybe dancing. But the rest was something we both
could forget about.

“It’s not a good time for me to be going out, Emma,”
I rationalized. “I need to prove myself to the Elders. I’m sure
that’s why Nathan doesn’t want to go.”

"He has never liked going," she continued. "John and
Mark managed to get him to go once this spring. And that was the
last time he went."

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” I murmured, thinking
of all he had gone through after his family had died. To say that
he hadn’t walked away from his lifestyle was a testament to his
beliefs. Emma’s reaction seemed extreme.

"I will not be allowed to go on my own," Emma
pouted.

"You mean with John?"

She nodded.

"Mother and Father can not stop us from going, but
they will be upset if I go with just John. It would make them
happier if we went as a group," she explained, her eyes
pleading.

Now I understood.

"Are you trying to get me to make Nathan go?" I
asked, scowling at her.

She had the ability to at least look a little
abashed.

"Maybe, yes. Please Kate, I have never been to one.
After Hannah," she whispered and closed her mouth, fear of
revealing Hannah's secret clear on her face.

"I know about Hannah, Emma. Maybe your parents are
right to worry? It doesn’t sound like it would be safe," I said
softly.

"I know John would watch out for me. It would be
easier with you there," she sighed sadly.

“Why me?”

“Because you understand it. You would be able to tell
us what is to be avoided,” she replied.

I closed my eyes and groaned, feeling torn over
this.

"I will see what he says, Emma. I don’t know though.
Are you sure Jonah and Fannie won't be upset?" I asked.

She hugged me tight and giggled.

"No, they understand the right of passage. I just do
not have friends to go with. Thank you, Katherine. He will listen
to you," she said happily.

I slipped under the covers and got comfortable, my
mind trying to figure out how to ask Nathan to go along with
something he was not keen on. Maybe he was just afraid. Maybe he
didn't want to know my world. Did he think I would be swayed to go
back to it? Did he think I would be that tempted?

Or was it something else?

I was distracted from my thoughts at Emma's sudden
giggling.

"What?" I whispered.

"Can you not hear them?" she giggled.

I listened for a moment, my ears buzzing at trying to
listen to the quiet.

And then I heard it.

And blushed.

"Oh…. Really?" I whispered and started to giggle
alongside Emma.

It was quiet, and you would have to have excellent
hearing to make out the sound and rhythm from the other room. We
both quieted down when we thought it had stopped, only to wheeze
and giggle some more when it started up again a few seconds
later.

"I cannot wait until that is me," Emma sighed softly
in the dark.

I touched her gently, feeling her hand wrap around
mine tightly.

"Me too," I whispered back, feeling an immense sense
of love wash over me.

I knew Emma loved John. Seeing them together during
the day made me so happy. I couldn't wait for her to experience
everything with John.

We listened in the dark, our minds left to drift, as
our sister and her husband found one another in the room next door.
It didn't feel like eavesdropping so much as finding joy in her
joy. Hannah had what she needed. And we could tell he was gentle.
It made me tear up, knowing that my sisters and I were lucky in the
men we had found.

Emma would find that with her John, I hoped soon.

I smiled at the thought that I might experience that
one day with Nathan as well.

I couldn't wait.

I was running through the corn, laughing at the noise
Nathan was making following along behind me. Ahead, the corn seemed
to never end, but I knew he was getting closer and would catch me
before I made it to the house. The rustling broke through behind me
and I turned with a smile to reach for Nathan.

Only to see dark eyes and large hands barreling
towards me.

I felt the scream in my throat but couldn’t release
it, to call out for help. Stumbling in the corn I tried to run, to
get away from the nightmare that was closing in.

Reaching for me with brutal hands.

"Katherine! We must awake!"

My eyes slammed open, a gasp escaping my lips when I
realized where I was.

A dream. Not real.

Sean was not here.

I let out a steadying breath and swallowed to wet my
dry mouth. I looked over at Emma as she watched me from the foot of
the bed, her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips.

"Katherine, come. We need to get dressed. There is
much to do today. Are you all right? You look flushed and you
thrashed around in your sleep," she said, eyeing me a little more
carefully.

I shook my head and scrambled out of bed, my legs
aching as if I had truly been running as I had in my dreams.

"I'm fine. Just, too much excitement from yesterday,"
I murmured and tried to offer her a reassuring smile as I dressed
for the day.

I was quiet throughout our chores, my mind wandering
again and again to the dream. I had not dreamt of Sean in over a
week, and then suddenly he was back in my head. I had to wonder if
perhaps the idea of going to the gathering had inadvertently made
me think of him again. Emma had remarked that English boys would be
there. Was my mind trying to tell me something?

Maybe Sean would be there. That fear brought me
white-faced into the kitchen, with Fannie turning and coming to me
in a rush.

"Katherine? Are you all right? You are pale," she
asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, really," I replied quietly and moved to
place the milk on the counter.

"Are you sure? Perhaps you are hungry? Emma says you
did not eat much yesterday," she continued, her hand moving up to
touch my forehead.

"Probably," I replied numbly.

"You can help Abigail set the table then and sit
until we are ready," she said and turned to fetch me some
juice.

I heard Mark's heavy footsteps and couldn't help but
look away, embarrassed when he walked in with Hannah beside him, a
bright smile on his face. And Hannah seemed to be glowing. I felt
my face heat up more at Hannah's raised eyebrow towards me. At
least now I didn't look so pale.

She slipped into the routine of preparing the morning
meal, a tender hug from Fannie and Emma before she slipped on the
apron and set to work. Mark watched her as she worked for a moment,
his eyes turning soft before he turned and sat down beside Jonah.
He smiled broadly, catching my blush before he cleared his throat
and turned to Jonah, who had watched the interchange between the
newlywed couple and I. I couldn't tell if Jonah was amused by it or
irritated. His beard always made his lips look like they were
smiling with the upper lip bare.

"What are your plans for the day, Mark?" he said,
focusing on him.

"I have one of Father's fields to clear. The wheat is
ready. My brothers are coming in today to help. Did you need me,
Jonah?" he asked, his jovial post wedding night smile slipping into
all business.

There seemed to be nothing like honeymoons here.

"I might need your help tomorrow," he started,
pausing when Nathan walked in through the back door. "I would like
to help Nathan today with his fields and a few other things."

I watched as Nathan paused in putting up his hat,
glancing at Jonah questioningly. His eyes were cautious, glancing
around the room before he moved to stand beside the chair next to
me.

"I am fine Jonah. I do not plan on harvesting for
another week or two. I have just the seeding of the autumn crops
remaining," he explained in his soft voice.

Jonah nodded and tapped his finger to his bare lip,
as if in deep thought.

"I was thinking of perhaps introducing my mare to
your stallion, Nathan. It seems she has one more cycle in her this
season," Jonah replied casually. I watched Nathan blink for a
moment, his face serious as he thought on what Jonah was
suggesting.

"What of your stallion, Jonah? You have foaled two
from them in years past," he suggested, shifting in his seat.

I listened in silence, not sure how to take in the
conversation about horse mating between Nathan and Jonah. It was
something so natural for them, and so uncommon for me. And they
talked over planning for the day as if it were as easy as clearing
a field. Just another duty to complete in the summer. Horse
breeding. Easy.

How many of these had Nathan seen?

"This will be my first time helping with something
like this," Nathan said aloud, answering my unspoken question.

Jonah nodded and smiled brightly.

"Well, if they are successful we will have something
to barter come early next summer," he added and then turned to the
meal as it was being laid out. Fannie was shaking her head and
pretending to scowl at him as she settled into her seat across the
table.

"Let us not talk of this over the meal, please. We
have much to do today," she chided.

All conversation stopped and after prayers, we
settled into a quiet breakfast. I glanced at Nathan many times, his
face a mask of mystery as he chewed silently beside me. It seemed
he was still worked up over the mention of the gathering the night
before.

Emma openly stared at him for much of the meal, as if
she were trying to read his mind while he purposefully ignored her.
Hannah and Mark smiled at one another and ate silently as well,
except for an occasional chuckle when Mark would wink at her. It
was a different world entirely looking at how Hannah and Mark
acted, with Fannie and Jonah sitting at the same table.

Was it normal for everyone to know what Hannah and
Mark had done last night?