Loved In Pieces (10 page)

Byron
noticed that I relaxed
again
and
put his arm around me
but was careful not to push me
. “Babe, it must be pretty cool to have an Oscar. You can do whatever you want now with your career. What do you think you’ll do?”

I looked at him puzzled. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

He explained, “Now you control what projects you want to t
ake on. You’
ll now be a member of th
e Academy.
You get to choose
, n
ot your
m
ommy, doll. You’ve proven yourself.”

I
confessed
, “
My mommy
is
in charge of my career. I’ve entertained ideas of being in charge, but could I be, really?”

“Yes, absolutely,
babe
.
You’re a spider.
You’re in charge now.”

I smiled. A
feeling of
heaviness lifted from me. I
floated
on a web
.

“So
,
Byron,
who were you in Australia? What were you like before all this fame
?
”

Byron
was a nice guy and loved his family.
He
i
s the youngest of four kids.
He missed his brothers but missed his sister the most.
His parents just c
elebrated their forty-
year
anniversary
,
and
he
was pissed th
at
he couldn’t make it to the celebration.
He
talked and talked and
had just started to repeat one of his stories
when
we got back to the San Diego set.

It was Thursday.
W
e were
several
hour
s
behind schedule
. The scene was supposed to take place at dusk, but
the end of
dusk
passed long ago and was replaced by yellow floodlights
. We
did at least
thirty
takes of a complex scene.
Most directors would shoot short takes, but Richard wanted to capture it as a flowing conversation between the
q
ueen, Muse and Constantine, creating a sense of unio
n between the three individuals
that
he didn’t think he could accomplish in editing the short takes.
He was
a
director who ventured on that fine line between boring his audience with more than a minute on the same actors in the same scene. Most directors focused on an actor for no more than 30 seconds. He was particularly challenged with Byron since he had very few lines.

In the scene, Constantine
enter
s
Rome as the victorious ruler of the Roman Empire in the West. It
i
s the year 312 AD. Hi
s
q
ueen
mother
begs him
to favor the Christian
c
hurch, which
i
s a minority group in Western Europe and had been severely persecuted under previous Roman rule. He
i
s popular and successful and kn
o
w
s
that accepting Christianity would put him in a risky political situation
in the West
but improve
s
his political aspirations of conquering the East
. Christianity
i
s already popular in the Eastern Empire, in Byzanti
um
, but he had yet to conquer
it
and wouldn’t until 324 AD
,
at
the end of the film
. 

Byron
was either massively unprepared or completely vacant.
Richard
yelled
at him to understand Constantine’s motivation. “
You’re an asshole. Your mom is telling you to embrace Christian ideals and you just want to leverage Christianity so you can take over Byzantium.
Y
ou’re nervous your buddies in Gaul are gonna bail on you. You still need lots of slaves to fight
your battles and support
the
Rome
Empire
. It was nice to enslave Christians, Goths, non-Roman citizens and criminals
. It supported your economy. It’
s a slippery slope. You see the advantage of Christianity. You want to please your sweet mommy. Muse explains your out. You adopt Christianity and compassion and you get everything you want. No more
Christians
get
tortured and killed in the West, you
make your mom happy
, you get political treaties in the East for be
com
ing a Christian,
and
everyone wins.

Byron
yelled, “Okay, I fucking got it.”

We all went back to our positions and he didn’t have it. After another thirty minutes, Richard was done.

“Cut! Sara! Rewrite the scene
—
set
it
during the day this time
. Give
Marie all his lines.
He’s going to nod and look soulful, if he can manage that!
We’ll do it tomorrow starting at 9 am until its right!
Shit
!” Richard shouted.

We all broke for dinner.

My completely annoying assistant brought me my cell phone, a bag of nuts, and
a
bottled water. I immediately read Manuel’s text asking me if he could borrow my car to take
Trish
out on their second date. I texted back with a
‘
yes
’
even though I was absolutely boiling over inside
with jealousy
, pissed beyond pissed.

I was
frustrated
with being an actor, having no life
—
angry
with everyone. I
could hear a pin drop
from the silence as we headed to the
costuming
t
railer to get out of our painful garments
.

Manuel texted back a thanks. They’d go out after her performance that night. I just shook my head
to myself as we walked
. I’d be going to prom with Alan’s group. There was no chance I’d go with Byron with how much he aggravated me. Then I thought about it more. Why not take
Byron?
I needed to move on, have friends. Watching Manuel date Trish was going to be as painful a
s when he and Kate fell in love
.

Byron
tried to talk to Renee. “I’m sorry you’re so pissed. I just get flustered when I have to remember so much.”

Renee looked at him. “I have commitments. Marie wants to go to her prom. I expect prof
essionalism. Time is money. We’
re already
so
behind schedule. You must practice a thousand times a day so you can do your job. Stop drinking and screwing girls and get to work!”

“Marie, will you practice with me?”

“
No
. Practice with Sara when she’s done with the new script.”

“Please, Marie. I do everything right when she and I practice. I only blow everything because when I look at you my mind goes
fucking
blank. I get struck each time I get near you.”

Renee interrupted. “Don’t blame this on her.
It’
s your job to control your sex drive.”

“But it’s true. I’m in love with you Marie and I can’t think straight when I’m
around
you!”
Byron
left us
and headed over to Clyde, the assistant direct
or, to talk about his failings.

Renee looked at me
as we entered the costume trailer. She asked,
“What is
it
about you? Evan was in love with you, too.
My nephew is careful to fall in love, but he does with you. You two were a perfect couple, perfect. And your relationship: nothing, n
o sex.
Byron
can’t think and it’s hurting the project. Are you a tease, Marie?”

“What? No! I just don’t want to have sex with them. I just want to date, kiss and hold hands.”

“Darling,
in this business, there’
s no middle ground. You either hang out with your girlfriends or you fuck your boyfriends. There is no kissing and holding hands.” She eased up and put her arm around me. “I know
;
you’re
so young. But that is just the way it is. You can’t
have friendships with men.”

I said nothing as I
got
out of my dress, hurting Franz’s feelings somehow, but not taking on any responsibility for his sensitivity. I was so pissed that I couldn’t even get out of my
corset
without someone’s help, furious that I was surrounded by people all the time but was completely alone. I stormed out of the trailer to get
my dinner
and ate it at an
unoccupied
table
,
mad
that men were so damn shallow and
angry
that I didn’t have any
girl
friends
. I went back to my trailer
and threw my iPhone against the wall, disappointed that it didn’t break
.

I had a text from Richard when I got out
of the
shower
. I changed into sweats
and met him in his trailer.
Clyde, Sara and Byron were there, too.
Richard handed me the new script.

“
Marie, please p
ractice with
Byron
.
Clyde and Sara will work with Renee.
You have a ton to memorize.
”
Richard
gave me a hug. “And thank you,
h
oney
, for stepping up to the plate again and again. You’re awesome.”

“Sure. No problem.”
I told Richard
, still completely annoyed with my life
.

Richard nodded, “Clyde, move Byron into a trailer here on set. You are now
this asshole’s
babysitter so
he
doesn’t ruin the project.”

Byron
and I left Richard’s trailer and headed for the catering tent.

“Shit, I guess it’s my last night in my condo. Let’s go there.
Everyone
hates me here. I can’t concentrate.”

“Okay,
” I agreed.
“But only if we just practice. You promised you’d control yourself.”

“I promised that I would try
, and I will. Trust me
.
I don’t want to get screamed at again tomorrow
.
Richard said that just cost him fifty thousand dollars and told me he’s taking it out of my percentage.
I feel awful that I’m dragging down the project
.”

He put both of our scripts in his backpack and
he
put
it
on
my back
. We got on his motorcycle and were at his condo within ten minutes. I
noticed the
photographers
.

“Why the
paparazzi
?” I asked as we headed to the door.
I
felt
better. The ride on his motorcycle was fun and kind of sexy. I liked holding him
. It was comforting
. I liked being close to his body without him having the opportunity to kiss me.

“
Oh, they want to see who I’m with today.”

“Why are you such a slut? Don’t you find it, like, empty?”
I asked. He went straight to the kitchen
fridge
and got two microbrews out, opened the tops, and handed me one.
I could drink one beer but that was all. I was on a one-drink maximum policy since recovering from my almost alcoholism.

“
N
o, honestly. What I feel is out of control. I’m not
me
. The girls back home were much harder to impress. Actually, I was
innocent until my recent fame. I won a reality TV talent show in Australia and immediately got cool when I was just a normal guy before. I’m a singer/songwriter, not an actor. I’ve never even had an acting class.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I get surprised that the women in L.A. are so aggressive.” He grinned, “I don’t love them and they
don’t seem to care
. I only love you.”