Loved In Pieces (13 page)

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Authors: Carla J Hanna

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“You need to rest.
I’m sure you’ll be booked with talk shows this weekend to promote your Oscar.”


N
o. Ira cancelled all my appearances.
He’s gonna work Matthew to the bone.
I also don’t have to do the Bafta, Spirit, or Kids’ Choice awards since we’re behind schedule.
I’ve earned a rest.”

“Wow! That was nice of him…
and shocking.” He
pinched his forehead and stared at me
.
“Part of
Matthew’s
punishment?”

“Yep.
He
knew the rules. Turns out it was in his contract that he
agreed
not pursue me sexually.
I don’t think he finds out until his March royalty statement
.”

Manuel raised his eyebrows and nodded approvingly.

I’ll use the couch. Is it okay if I take this extra blanket?”

I resigned
,
“Sure.
It’s a sleeper sofa. The sheets are in the coffee table next to
it.
Anyway, thanks for being here, Manuel. That was really nice of you to drive down.”


Claro.
You’re my best friend and I love y
a
.
You shouldn’
t have to deal with life trauma all by yourself. You were there for me with my breakup
s
with
Beth and then
Kate. I’m here for you now.”
He added, “I hope it’s okay that I drove your car.”

I laughed, “Of course.” I added, “Sorry I ruined your date.”

He whispered, “No, it’s fine. Trish’s sweet but you’re much, much more important to me. I told her it was a family emergency. I forgot there’d be paparazzi. I’ll have to explain the photos.”

He whispered
a prayer
as he pushed the hair off of my face
and tucked the sheet under my chin again.


Y
ou still pray?” I asked.
“I mean,
I know you pray when you play sports. We’ve all seen it, but do you, like, s
till believe
in everything we learned at church
, ya know?”

He whispered,
“Yes
, mostly
.”

I wondered,
“Why?”


Praying
helps me be a better person, humbles me.
I’m not that great of a person if left to my own devices.

“I don’t know about that. We all have faults.”

“Yeah, but I doubt you want to pummel Alan just about every day. And
want to..
.”
he stopped abruptly and shook his head.

“You’re human, Manuel. So am I.”

He
leaned over and kissed my cheek
.
“I love you, Marie.”

I relaxed into my pillow. “I love
you, too, more than words can say.
” I lighten
ed
the
mood, “
Thanks
for breaking the law to drive down,
Señor Self-righteous
.


¡Claro!
I’m cutting school, too.
” He turned at the doorway
and turned off the light
.

I’d break every rule for you, Liana Marie.
Buenos sueños.

~  |  ~   
YES, REALLY

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of
Byron
’s motorcycle.
I
lurched
out of bed, afraid
to see
him.
I felt nauseous and ran to the toilet to throw up.
Manuel was there
in the doorway
,
watching my
reaction
.

“You okay?” Manuel asked
as he put on his shirt
. “Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” I looked
at him
, hid
ing
that I was impressed with his muscles,
and raised my eyebrows
.
“But I have to. I work with him. I can’t exactly
act like it didn’t happen
.” I
rinsed my mouth, took two Excedrins,
put on my jacket and went outside.

“What the hell, Marie?”
Byron demanded.

“I’m really sorry I freaked out but I didn’t want to
drink or
have sex. I was just helping you with the script.”

Byron
shoved his hands in his pockets.

You weren’t even turned on. That’s never happened to me before.

He
grumbled
, “
You don’t love me at all?”

“I
don’t
want to be one of your hundreds. I’m done partying
. Y
ou’re beginning it. Now, please, leave me alone for the rest of the project. Okay?”


One of my hundreds?!
This is bullshit, Marie!”
He shook his head.

“Byron, I’m broken.
Just forget about me.”

“No, Marie, you listen…”

“She’s
told you to back off for months.
” Manuel interrupted from behind me. “Ma
ri
e, you’ve said plenty. I’ll take it from here. Byron, we need to talk.”

Byron objected, “
Damn
, Manny, how do you deal with her
?

I
avoided eye contact with both guys and went inside
.
If I looked into
Manuel’s
eyes I would know exactly what he was thinking and I didn’t want to know what he thought of me.
If I looked at Byron, I’d feel sorry for him and guilty for being a tease.

I
brushed my teeth and
got dressed while I
heard their muffled conversation.
Byron
didn’t know what he did wrong. He loved me and
wanted to show
me
.
He could tell I wasn’t ready so he was going to do more foreplay to help me. But I freaked out.
He was worried that I was sexually shut down from some horrible experience
and
need
ed
some help working through it
.

Manuel explained that I told him to ba
ck off.
Byron
needed to respect my words and not push me all the time to give it up to him.
He told
Byron
that I
knew that
the Hollywood party life
was not what I wanted
and I was trying so hard to reject alcohol, to stick with my ‘none or only one’ drink mantra
.
Manuel asked him to stay away from me
.

Manuel
returned
and sat next to me on the bed
. “
With your reaction, I thought
the worst
. Somehow, though, the stuff you’ve seen has traumatized you.
Has anything happened to you?


Growing up in Hollywood happened to me. I just don’t fit in this life whatsoever. Renee complained to me yesterday about me being a tease. I said I just wanted to kiss and hold hands with the guys I dated. She said there was no middle ground. I either hang out with girls or
have sex with
the boys. She said I can’t be friends with men.”

“You’re friends with me, Mitch, Franz, and Evan.”

I agreed, “Yeah, but you see me as your sister. Mitch is dating
the love of your life
.

Manuel interrupted, “Beth’s not the love of my life. Dating her was a nightmare.” He explained, “We got into a huge argument about me being late for our ride
last month
. I kissed her to prove something to her. It’s complicated
,
and I don’t want to explain
. Mitch understands.”

I smiled
and leaned into him.
I continued, “
Franz is gay. Evan
lost
patience.
” He put his
arm around me.

Except for Matthew, m
ost g
uys are afraid to get near me
with Martin representing me
, but that safety net will be gone when I turn eighteen
.
It still bugs me that Matthew called me a tease.


You’re not.
I’m glad you didn’t get messed up
with anyone
. Kate’s clip of you kissing that girl really freaked me out
.” He laughed.
“Here you are a hot actress and a virgin. It seems impossible
.”


Hey, it was
Kate’s
idea. She figured I should try since no guy turned me on.
And that kiss
only
lasted a second.
I
t’s a bummer Kate and Alan got clips of
the few stupid things I did
.

“We all do stupid stuff. It’s just you kid actors who have to act so mature. The ones who don’t protect themselves get messed up with drugs, sex, and parties.”
He
stroked my hair and then stopped.
I loved the feeling and didn’t want him to stop.

“That
Byron
is a complete ass.
But
I think he’s telling the truth that h
e loves you. I told him to leave you alone.
If you want to date him, I don’t think you burned a bridge.
Is it
because
he’s so good looking
that
you have a hard time dissing him?”

“Yeah, but it’s not just that.
Byron
moves too fast for me. My
mind
can’t keep up. He watches me and knows
exactly
what I’m thinking. Most people say they don’t know what I’m thinking. He always knows.
My mom knows.
So do you.

He disagreed,
“No, I don’t when we’re together.
Evan can read you; I can’t. Maybe that’s why
Evan
’s such a great guy, because he’s sensitive. You should date him again.” He
moved my hair off of my arm
. “
Since we email and text most of the time, I have a pretty good idea of what you’re thinking
. B
ut today
, last night
,
I don’t know.”

Manuel
morphed into a stone
.
H
e
gently
pushed my head off his chest and
got off the bed.
I ignored my feelings of rejection.
He urged,

I
think it’
s probably time for you to eat
breakfast
. It’
s
after six
. When I
talked
to
Byron
, I saw that a lot of people are already up.
He left your script.

He
went to the bathroom while I took my medicine and some painkillers for my headache. I was finishing my water at the kitchen sink when he reached around me to grab his shaving kit.
He smiled at me but blushed and went back into the bathroom to brush his teeth and shave.

Manuel
announced
, “
I figured I’d leave
tonight or
late tomorrow
morning
.
I can run with you
before I go
.
I’m no five minute mile
,
like you,
but can run the distance easily. I need to be at work at 4 pm
tomorrow.”
He
stood by the trailer door
and continued, “But you don’t need me. So maybe I should drive home after we ea
t, ya know, when you go to make
up.”

I didn’t want Manuel to leave. I asked,

You’re tense.
What’s up with you?”

“I’m thinking that you are thinking something that I know you’re not thinking.” Manuel scrunched his face, shook his head, and grumbled, “
F
orget about it. Let’s
eat
.”

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