Loved In Pieces (9 page)

The mention of a bartender immediately made
Byron
pour himself a drink from the bar and light a cigarette.
Byron
was a chimney. I really felt for him. He probably c
ouldn’
t quit
acting
for another five years with the contracts
to which
he
was
bound
,
and he was a walking time bomb of self-destruction. He had no handle on the fame. He repeat
ed
the same story ab
out himself to everyone he met
and, after he
wa
s smashed an hour later,
told
the same story again. He probably th
ought
people care
d
but w
ould
soon learn that nobody d
id
.
He’d soon learn to trust no one.

I fumbled through the bag
left
for me in the limo and found my cell phone.
Dad
and Celia
sent a text praising me.
I texted a return thanks.
I called Manuel.

“Bueno,”
he answered. He and his father said
‘bueno’
instead of
‘hola’
and I never truly understood why. He sa
id
it
wa
s just a greeting and d
idn
’t mean “good”
in context
.

“Hey, Manuel,” I said
as I closed my eyes
, instantly feeling relief from
hearing my best friend’s voice, feeling loved
.

“You did it. My mom cried,
ya know
. Thanks for thanking us
.
”

“
C
laro,
”
I breathed.
“Ugh,
I wan
ted to die. It was excruciating.
” My lungs
con
stricted just thinking about the
stress
.

“Yeah, I’m sorry
.
I know. Just keep in mind that you did it
.  Y
ou’re awesome.”

“Thanks.” I sighed, ready to
change
the subject. “
Byron
and I are heading back to San Diego. So what are you going to do tonight?”

“I’m going out on a double date with Alan to
some
fight
, I guess
. Alan is paying. He got a driver so it should be an easy date.”

Alan
Goldberg,
my producer’
s son and our
classmate
—
when I went to classes
—
was a compelling jerk, one of those mega rich guys who was the life of the party, knew everyone, treated girls as whores, made enormous social errors, and then apologized sincerely for being an ass.
He was scrawny, only a few inches taller than me, and completely un-athletic. 

All of us had sworn off our friendship with him and yet we all somehow forgave him. Each time we forgave him, we felt like fools and the cycle continued. Now that we were seniors
in high school, with the exception of me at work most of the time, we finally gave up trying to exclude him since the effort was futile anyway.

“I thought you’d never get set up again with Alan. I mean, you’re on the seventh girl you thought was a slut and moved too fast for you.”
I had counted.

“
They are all so vacant. I just can’t deal with anyone I’ve dated since Kate. But
Alan set me up with that cute girl I like from Brentwood
when I called him to get her number
.
Her name is
Trish
.
She goes to the school whe
re Beth’s dad teaches. T
uition there is $32,000 per year, for a high school! That’s so insane! I asked Beth’s dad about her.
” He sighed, “Beth and I got into a huge fight
this morning
. Anyway, Trish
doesn’t take his classes, but she’s really smart and plays classical guitar and piano. She’s a singer.
She’ll probably think I’m a total loser but I gotta try, right? So,
Alan’s taking
Sherry
since she knows her
.”

My heart sank but I tried my best to sound supportive,
“You're trying to impress a girl
by
taking her
out on
a Sunday night
with Alan? Are you mental?
Take her out to Malibu and have a stroll on the beach.
Please
, Manuel
,
don’t take her out with an asshole and
his
slut to a fight!”

“I can’t. I don’t have a car. What am I gonna do? Ride the bus to Brentwood to pick her up on my bike?”

“No. Wait a second. Take my car.
It’s in the garage at my house,
” I urged and then felt stupid for
giving him the means
to have a successful date.

He laughed, “You’
re
really
trying hard to get this girl to like me. Thanks, I guess, my little match-maker, but no. Alan has it all set up.”

“Well
,
okay. Tell me how it goes.”

“I will. I hope I like her. She’s cute and smart and there sure aren’t many girls like that. I figured I’d ask her to prom if
we click
.
I’m running out of time.
”

“It’d be a bummer to miss prom
,
” I confirmed.
It was early this year, at the end of March, because of all the budget cuts in the public schools. The administration had to cut off
several
weeks of school
. E
very senior had to do two independent study projects to make up for the lack of education. I was worried
that
I’d miss prom if
Byron
kept messing up and delaying the schedule.

Manuel
sounded shocked
, “
Are you going?”

“Yeah, my mom
said I’d regret not going.
Don’t tell anyone, but I paid for renting out the Getty
Mansion
off the PCH
for the school so we could go there
—
m
y donation this year.
Alan asked me to go with him, but
I figured I’d ask someone once I knew for sure that we’d wrap by then.
Otherwise,
I told Alan that
I’ll drive down that afternoon and
go
with
hi
s group
and then come back to the set the next morning
.
”

Byron
interrupted, “I want you to ask me
to your prom,
babe
.”

I laughed. “I guess I already have a taker.”

Manuel interru
pted, “I’m pissed. You should’
ve told me. We could have gone together. I’ve been wasting all this time looking for a girl to ask to prom and could have gone with you
?
Damn, Marie.”

“I’m sorry. I just figured you wanted a real date since you have to go.
I
f I said I go with you and then couldn’t and you get crowned then what, you’d go to prom by yourself?
I mean, what prom king does that?
”

“Marie, I’m not going to be prom king. Sam will be. Kate will be queen. We broke up. Sure I was nominated, but I’m a geek. Kate’s the popular girl. Sam’s
a dude
.” Manuel paused, “Listen, I like Trish. I’ll ask her to prom if we click. If we don’t, will you be my date? If you can’t go, I’ll go by myself in Alan’s group. Deal?”

“Sure, yeah. But don’t you want a romantic prom or something?”

“Yeah,
but..
.
So we have a plan?
” Manuel grumbled.

I agreed
, “Yeah. Cool.
Will we be doubling with Beth and Mitch?
”

“
No. I
…I kissed Beth today. She’s
beyond
pissed
off
with me
.
”

“
What?!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna deal with this one myself. So, let’s not talk about it.”

I didn’t know what to say. I swallowed.
My insides ached
as I lost another piece of ‘me’
.

At that moment, Marie Michael determined that she
was not going to give loving Manuel another thought.
M
om
said the key to happiness was acceptance of what you cannot change.
Marie
had to stop wishing for something impossible and deal with life as it was, not as
she
wanted it to be.
She or me—whoever
—
had to accept that Manuel loved me as his sister and make the most out of the fact that
Marie Michael
was, and would continue to be, an actor.

“Anyway, I should go. I love you, Marie. You rock.”

The-Artist-Formerly-Known-as-
I ended abruptly, “Thanks. Bye.”

Marie Michael
did it
. A
fter a week of anxiety it was over.
Sage
had my
Oscar
.
Whoever
I
was
did not feel the pride appropriate for the honor. I felt the relief from the pressure. I just desperately wanted to get out of my dress and put the whole experience behind me.

“
Byron
, don’t get any ideas but please unzip me. I’ve got to get out of this dress before it suffocates me.”

“Sure, but I always have ideas
.
Your lips, just…
wow
,
and your body
…mmm
.
”

“
Byron
. Just treat me like your little sister and don’t try anything.
I warn you, my driver will kick your ass
.
Please?”

I turned my back to him and lifted my hair off my back. He pulled at the zipper. I added, “It’s sewn closed. Rip it.”

He tried. He reached for the bar. “Maybe the bottle opener will work.” He tried again and asked,
“
So are you dating Manny?”

“No.”

“I’ve seen you look at him.
The only time
you’ve
blow
n
your lines was when he was on
the
set last fall.
You
think he’s hot; so why the best
friend bullshit?”

“It’s not bullshit. We’ve been best friends since we’ve been in diapers.”

“
Marie,
I look at you and see a woman who needs a hug and a friend. I can give you that comfort
.”

I wanted
Byron
that way
, especially since Trish would be falling in love with Manuel
even though he loved Beth, not me.
I could feel my eyes water and worried that I was going to
break down in tears if I said anything to
him
.

Of course
Byron
noticed.
“Oh, Marie, don’t cry.” He
stopped ripping the threads,
moved next to me
,
and held me as I cried. He didn’t try to kiss me.

“
Byron
, please just unzip me.
Honestly I didn’t need friends before this
fucked-up month
.
You’re right that I’m lonely.
” I wiped my tears with my hand. “
But I can barely breathe in this dress.
I’m suffocating.
”

He unzipped me
, handed me a tissue
,
and poured himself another drink.
I inhaled deeply and
unwound.
I changed while he told stories about h
is glorious high school days
.
With my t-shirt covering me, I pulled the tape off my ribs and breast. I was free of all my Oscar trappings. I could breathe.