Texts from Jane Eyre (3 page)

King Midas

The Wife of Bath

 hey are you still up
 can i come over

 sure 

 its Allyson btw 

 cool 

William Blake

 hi 

 hi 

 I got you a present 

 you did? 

 I drew you something 

 oh wow
 
is it horrifying?

 no 

 do you promise?
William?
 
do you promise me that it’s not horrifying?

 i drew you something 

 William
 
you know what I mean

 what do you mean by horrifying 

 is anyone being
flayed alive in it
or committing suicide
or does something have eyes that shouldn’t have eyes
you know what I mean
 
horrifying

 never mind
 sorry i bothered you

 William
it isn’t that
 
you know I like your drawings

 i know 

 I just already have so many watercolors of flayings already
 
I wouldn’t know where to put another one

 you could put it in the kitchen
 you don’t have hardly any of my flayings in there

 so it is a picture of someone being flayed 

 well
sort of
i mean they’re already flayed but they’re not getting flayed
it’s not like a double flaying
ooh wait
 hang on

 Bring me my Bow of burning gold 

 William what are you talking about 

 Bring me my Arrows of desire 

 You’re not allowed to have arrows
 
has someone let you have arrows?

 Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold! 

 William
you don’t have any of those things
and there aren’t any clouds out
it’s a very nice day
why don’t you come outside in the garden for a little while
 
it’s a very nice day out here

 Bring me my Chariot of fire! 

 I can’t do that, I’m afraid
but I can bring you a cup of tea
would you like me to bring you a cup of tea?
William?
would you like that?
 
it’s no chariot of fire but I’ll put lots of milk in it

 bring me a cup of tea 

 I’ll get you a cup of tea 

 a cup of tea of fire 

 what’s that? 

 hmm? 

 what? 

 nothing
just a normal cup of tea with no fire in it yet
at all
not yet
 ha ha ha ha ha

 When the Sun rises do you not see a round Disk of fire
 somewhat like a Guinea

 I guess it could look like that 

 O no no I see an Innumerable company of the Heavenly host
oh
 crying Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty

 I guess it could be that too
 
either the money or the screaming angels

 WOULD YOU QUESTION A WINDOW 

 what? 

 WOULD YOU QUESTION A WINDOW 

 I suppose not
 
I suppose I wouldn’t

 THEN NEITHER WILL I QUESTION MY CORPOREAL NOR
 VEGETATIVE EYE

 Every thing in Dantes Comedia shews That for Tyrannical
Purposes he has made This World the Foundation of All & the
 Goddess Nature & not the Holy Ghost

 are you drawing pictures of Hell again 

 Keep just as you are – I will draw your portrait – for you have ever been an angel to me 

 okay
okay I’ll keep real still
 
take all the time you want

 what do you think would happen
 if Heaven and Hell got MARRIED

 I don’t know 

 a Line or Lineament is not formed by Chance a Line is a Line
in its Minutest Subdivision[s] Strait or Crooked It is Itself & Not
 Intermeasurable with or by any Thing Else Such is Job

 are we
are we still talking about Hell
 
or are we talking about math now

King Lear

 okay who wants a kingdom 

 me
 
me I do

 how much do you love me 

 oh my god
how much DON’T I love you is a better question
i love you like i love eyes
or outer space
or standing up
or even this question
 
ahhhh that’s so much haha

 ahh that’s so much 

 i knooooow 

 you can definitely have a kingdom 

 oh my god thank you
i hope you didn’t think i was saying that
 
just to get a kingdom

 oh no not at all 

 yayyyyyy 

 maybe after you take over i can come stay with you 

 oh
actually
that would not work for me
we’re redoing a lot of the rooms right now
 
i’m so sorry!!!

 hi babe :)
 u coming over tonight

 who is this 

 babe its regan
 you know who i am

 stop texting this number 

 wait who is this 

 leave me alone 

 edmund would never say that who is this
 is this fucking goneril

 no 

 it is
it totally is
you are so transparent
 i can’t believe you stole his phone

 i didn’t steal it
he’s in the shower
 
if you must know

 that’s so pathetic 

 if it’s so pathetic
then why is he here showering with me
instead of there
 
showering with you

 obviously he isn’t showering with you
obviously he’s just showering
and you’re alone
going through his phone
 trying to make sure he doesn’t get my messages

 just leave him alone 

 i never let edmund shower alone when he’s at my place 

 shut up 

 this is why he’s never going to kill your husband for you 

 i don’t see anybody killing your husband 

 well it’s hard to see
when you’re blinded
 by jealousy

 oh guess what edmund came out of the shower
he says he loves me and we’re getting married and he’s going to murder my husband
so
 
can’t talk gotta go bye!!!

 you’re lying 

 nope he’s killing my husband right now
oh my god there’s so much blood
we’re going to have to take another shower
after all this husband
murdering
 
byyyyye

 don’t you dare
goneril
goneril
you made that up right
 i’m calling right now

 let’s just run away, Cordelia 

 all right 

 you and me
we’ll run off to jail together
 Lear and Cordelia, together again

 oh 

 just the two of us
like birds in a cage
 I’ll be one bird and you’ll be the other bird

 huh 

 we can laugh at butterflies
and listen to court gossip from the guards
and just live there forever
and pray and sing and laugh
we’ll be SPIES for GOD
 just like two crazy birds trapped in a tower together

 yeah
that would be
jail with my dad
so much better than moving to France
with my powerful new husband
yeah
 
wow

 forever and ever
it’ll be so great
 let’s do it

 oh
okay
yes
sure
let me just
tell my husband that
 
I’m running off to jail with my dad forever